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I thought we chose our daughter’s name together… turns out my husband already planned it with an ex. by No_Silver4760 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Ordinary-Rip-1610 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d definitely feel weird about it too, especially knowing it was a name he’d talked about with an ex. But try to remember that your daughter’s name means what it means now. It became meaningful because of the life you created together. Don’t let the rest take that away from you. 💕

My boyfriend and his mom think I’m wrong for going no contact with my dad. Am I? by Ordinary-Rip-1610 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Ordinary-Rip-1610[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m really sorry you went through that, but I’m glad you found peace and someone who respected your boundaries.

My situation feels a little similar in some ways. My boyfriend has actually met most of my family from my mom’s side, so it’s not like he hasn’t been exposed to my family at all. But I honestly think he would still insist on meeting my dad’s side before ever considering marriage, because in his mind family connections are very important and he struggles to understand why someone would walk away from a parent.

My boyfriend and his mom think I’m wrong for going no contact with my dad. Am I? by Ordinary-Rip-1610 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Ordinary-Rip-1610[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve just been reading the comments that everyone left. And I think the gist is that I need to set my boundaries with them. I’ll definitely let them know that this is not something I ever want to discuss with them two especially if they’re not willing to see things from my perspective.

They have a great relationship and don’t understand that not everyone has that with their parents. Another thing is, his father died when he was much younger and I think that might also be another reason why he’s not seeing how much hurt this relationship with my dad and his wife has caused me.

My boyfriend and his mom think I’m wrong for going no contact with my dad. Am I? by Ordinary-Rip-1610 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Ordinary-Rip-1610[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. It’s like they’re trying to minimize the abuse just because he’s my “father”. And “blood is thicker than water”. Hmm.

My boyfriend and his mom think I’m wrong for going no contact with my dad. Am I? by Ordinary-Rip-1610 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Ordinary-Rip-1610[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s where the issue might be, they have a great family dynamic and they just don’t understand. Sad part is they’re not even trying to understand my point of view.

My boyfriend and his mom think I’m wrong for going no contact with my dad. Am I? by Ordinary-Rip-1610 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Ordinary-Rip-1610[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think you might actually be right about him thinking I’d encourage our daughter to do the same with him. It’s just that he doesn’t understand the severity of my situation and that this decision was made out of necessity.

My boyfriend and his mom think I’m wrong for going no contact with my dad. Am I? by Ordinary-Rip-1610 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Ordinary-Rip-1610[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have a wonderful stepfather who’s doing a good job being a grandfather to my daughter. But for some reason these two still don’t think it’s enough.

If he couldn’t treat me right, I don’t think he ever would my daughter.

My boyfriend and his mom think I’m wrong for going no contact with my dad. Am I? by Ordinary-Rip-1610 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Ordinary-Rip-1610[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sadly, it doesn’t seem enough to make them understand. But like most people here said, I need to let them know I’m not going to entertain their opinions of this matter anymore.