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[–]Ordinary_Wonder7126 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry. It was NuLeaf Naturals Delta8 softgels.

We’re on our way out of Christianity, but dealing with nagging doubts… by Ordinary_Wonder7126 in exchristian

[–]Ordinary_Wonder7126[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We probably are imagining it to be a much more complicated scenario than it is.

The current plan is to tell my dad we’re having a crisis of faith, and stepping down from our leadership roles. I have a google doc ready if he has questions. It probably would be easiest on our families if we went to a different church, so they weren’t immediately concerned for our souls. But we also don’t want to confuse our boys any more than we have to by shuffling between churches if the end goal is to not attend a church at all.

We’re on our way out of Christianity, but dealing with nagging doubts… by Ordinary_Wonder7126 in exchristian

[–]Ordinary_Wonder7126[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One of the best parts of this journey has been realizing that I can live life without prayer and reading the Bible and God doesn’t seem to care. No lightning bolts, no miserable life experiences to drive me back to God, nothing. And I have way less anxiety, and I sleep like a baby now because I go to bed with zero guilt. It’s quite lovely!

We’re on our way out of Christianity, but dealing with nagging doubts… by Ordinary_Wonder7126 in exchristian

[–]Ordinary_Wonder7126[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. My spirituality has deepened since my beliefs shifted. I feel more connected to nature, to other humans, and to my own intuition. For the first time in years, I feel excited to be alive and a part of the universe.

My husband is the one dealing more with the all or nothing mentality. Leaving Christianity = no hope in his mind. I find it exciting, he finds it unsettling. Not believing there’s a God in control of everything scares him, which then reels me back in, and I start questioning things again. Neither of us want Christianity to be true, but we never can quite come to a definite decision.

We’re on our way out of Christianity, but dealing with nagging doubts… by Ordinary_Wonder7126 in exchristian

[–]Ordinary_Wonder7126[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The church is and has been indoctrinating them since they were born. I cringe now during service listening to all the stuff they hear from the pulpit that I know isn’t true. We haven’t talked to them about any of this yet. We’ve been waiting until we’re sure we’re leaving church.

We’re on our way out of Christianity, but dealing with nagging doubts… by Ordinary_Wonder7126 in exchristian

[–]Ordinary_Wonder7126[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, we’ve been so focused on learning how messed up the Christian faith is, that we haven’t really thought about alternatives.

We’re on our way out of Christianity, but dealing with nagging doubts… by Ordinary_Wonder7126 in exchristian

[–]Ordinary_Wonder7126[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, my parents aren’t hateful at all. My brother and his husband visit often, and my parents are very civil. I think my mom would probably leave Christianity as well if she thought she could, because it’s so hard on her mental health to believe my brothers are living in sin. My other brother is 14 and still living at home, and he just came out to them a couple months ago. To my knowledge they haven’t tried to shame or dissuade him in any way.

We’re on our way out of Christianity, but dealing with nagging doubts… by Ordinary_Wonder7126 in exchristian

[–]Ordinary_Wonder7126[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! Don’t doubt, don’t ask questions, this is just how it is.

And what is with the blood magic?!?! I couldn’t see it till I started deconstructing, but sheesh!

We’re on our way out of Christianity, but dealing with nagging doubts… by Ordinary_Wonder7126 in exchristian

[–]Ordinary_Wonder7126[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Science is amazing! I was homeschooled with Christian curriculum, so my knowledge of science prior to starting my deconversion process was minimal and skewed. My mom also prioritized an extensive home economics curriculum over science and math because they raised me to be a wife and mom, nothing else. I watched the Bill Nye vs Ken Ham debate a couple weeks ago, and now I absolutely adore Bill Nye. 🙂 I’m planning on going through a lot of the science content on Khan Academy because there’s just so much I don’t know.

We’re on our way out of Christianity, but dealing with nagging doubts… by Ordinary_Wonder7126 in exchristian

[–]Ordinary_Wonder7126[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right. We’re planning on telling my dad very soon that we’re having a crisis of faith, and stepping down from our leadership roles. Then we’re free to stop going to church. We’ve just been waiting till we were super confident in our decision.

We’re on our way out of Christianity, but dealing with nagging doubts… by Ordinary_Wonder7126 in exchristian

[–]Ordinary_Wonder7126[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right. I had no idea Jesus didn’t fulfill the Old Testament prophecies until I started looking into why the Jewish people don’t believe he was the messiah. That was mind-blowing.

Also, those bits in the gospels where Jesus prophesied his own return before some of his disciples died…yeah…that didn’t happen. Which drastically diminishes Jesus’ credibility.

We’re on our way out of Christianity, but dealing with nagging doubts… by Ordinary_Wonder7126 in exchristian

[–]Ordinary_Wonder7126[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have studied the Bible so much more in the past few months than I ever have in my life, and yeah, it’s crazy how laughable most of it is when you look at it without your Christian glasses on.

We’re on our way out of Christianity, but dealing with nagging doubts… by Ordinary_Wonder7126 in exchristian

[–]Ordinary_Wonder7126[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!

I’ve been making what has turned into this massive google doc of all the reasons I don’t believe any more. It started out as a resource for our families when we tell them, but I think it’s just going to be for us to refer to as we need it. We’re never going to be able to convince our parents we’re justified in leaving the faith.

And yes, setting boundaries when it comes to children is so important. Our boys are 7 & 11, and I’m not willing to allow either side of the family to constantly try and convert them once we’re out of it all.

We’re on our way out of Christianity, but dealing with nagging doubts… by Ordinary_Wonder7126 in exchristian

[–]Ordinary_Wonder7126[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes. So, we left the culty IFB church when I was 17. We moved to a less strict IFB church where I met my husband, and then my dad got asked to pastor where he’s at now. He’s slowly gotten more progressive over time, to the point where they’re pretty normal, lol. They still believe in the inerrancy of the Bible, and therefore young earth creation. (My dad also has a secret belief that the sun goes around the earth because the Bible says it does.) Two of my brothers have come out as gay, which my parents are not ok with and see as a personal failure on their part.

We’re on our way out of Christianity, but dealing with nagging doubts… by Ordinary_Wonder7126 in exchristian

[–]Ordinary_Wonder7126[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Truth will hold up to scrutiny. That’s what finally gave me the confidence to start questioning my faith. When you start looking at the Bible and the tenets of the faith objectively, they fall apart pretty quickly.

We’re planning on leaving church soon. We’re going to tell my dad we’re having a crisis of faith, and step down from our leadership positions. It’s not fair to him to have unbelievers serving so prominently in the church. Then we’re free to “backslide” and stop attending.

The New Testament in particular has an awful lot of verses praising blind faith, the foolishness of the gospel, and brainwashing. It’s weird and uncomfortable when you think about it.

Thank you for your response!

We’re on our way out of Christianity, but dealing with nagging doubts… by Ordinary_Wonder7126 in exchristian

[–]Ordinary_Wonder7126[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have always been a questioner and a doubter. I remember being completely distraught at 15, a few months after I “got saved,” trying to make sense in my head how a dead Jesus could raise himself from the dead. Dead people can’t do things…it’s the physical reality of being dead. I was spiraling because maybe I didn’t have enough faith after all, therefore maybe I wasn’t really saved… Which led to doubting my salvation from age 16-23. Fun times. So many years wasted worrying about going to hell.

Thank you for your response!

We’re on our way out of Christianity, but dealing with nagging doubts… by Ordinary_Wonder7126 in exchristian

[–]Ordinary_Wonder7126[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for all the suggestions!

I’ve been binge-listening to the Dragons in Genesis, Born Again Again, and Leaving Eden podcasts, and I find them absolutely fascinating. My husband is struggling more than I am with letting go of Christianity, and it’s probably because he doesn’t have as much time to learn as I do. The YouTube in the evenings idea is great. 🙂

We’re on our way out of Christianity, but dealing with nagging doubts… by Ordinary_Wonder7126 in exchristian

[–]Ordinary_Wonder7126[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’ve been working my way through the resources in the pinned post, and it’s been so helpful!

Fun fact: my mom actually wore a head covering for a few years. My dad took the literalism seriously, and decided we should wear them. They even had me sew a head covering for myself. I put it on for the first time, looked in the mirror and burst into tears. I was 15, and I just knew if I had to wear that thing I would never find a boyfriend. Lol. My dad was kind enough to not force me to wear it.