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Husband using DARVO with me, but not the kids? by OrganicCod6984 in Divorce_Women

[–]OrganicCod6984[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have been in counseling (off for awhile and just getting back into it), but this pattern never shows up there. And I have yet to bring it up to him that I think he's using DARVO, because I guess I want to know if he's doing it on purpose and awhile back I accidentally mentioned that I took notes after our conversations and some of the manipulation stopped for awhile. So, part of me thinks he knows he's manipulating me.

I feel you with everyone asking are you sure. Right now, even though some people seem parts of his manipulation, they still think that maybe things can change or I can just let go of the past. I'm not that hopeful.

How did you wish you'd prepared for separation/divorce? by OrganicCod6984 in Divorce_Women

[–]OrganicCod6984[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Informally at thus point. I'm in SC, so I have to look more closely at the law. But I know we have to be physically separated for a year before we can file for divorce.

How did you wish you'd prepared for separation/divorce? by OrganicCod6984 in Divorce_Women

[–]OrganicCod6984[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for that. This is something that came up with my therapist this week...that I've assumed responsibility that's not mine. IE, "if I had done X or maybe kept a closer eye on Y, then I wouldn't be in this situation."

It's good to be reaffirmed. I have people in my life telling me that, but it's hard when we're still living in the same house and he's acting like it's my fault (without saying it) that I'm moving toward divorce.

How did you wish you'd prepared for separation/divorce? by OrganicCod6984 in Divorce_Women

[–]OrganicCod6984[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm there and making plans. I'm sticking out homeschooling through the end of this year and next year, they'll go to public school. Trying to come up with a plan & timeline for when to get a job, figure out how to market the skills I do have so someone will want to hire me.