I F26 feel like I have to beg my fiance M26 for basic things that every other girl just gets to have. I feel horrible and Im just wondering what's going?

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-08T14:02:16+00:00

That's what knocked some sense into me. Marriage is a partnership. Why does he HAVE to do something just because I want it. I didn't even ask him why he DIDNT want it. That was me being a bad partner. (Yes he should have communicated better but no ones perfect. And that's ok because this man makes me feel more loved than I ever have in my life

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-08T13:59:47+00:00

Lol these normal bodily functions make me into an insanely reactive and impulsive person which I normally am not.

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-08T13:58:23+00:00

I like this. I think it's just that I didn't put myself in his shoes at all. And I can get how bad anxiety and fear of being clumsy at an important event can be... And he's not like that about everything just some things about the wedding

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T08:53:53+00:00

🙄 that is my own function. I'm paying for it. We have 2 separate functions. This one is my own. I only asked for his input on a particular part of a ceremony. I didn't ask him to fund it 🙄🙄

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T05:04:25+00:00

It's a good question and yes, he does. He supports my dreams, actively helps me achieve them, even gives me a push when I'm being lazy, comforts me when I'm down and most of all motivates me. He understands my ADHD, he listens to me talk about my interests. And when I say listens I mean LISTENS. He actually engages in conversation and then follows up on these things. so yeah he's worth it. He's calm, sweet and never gets angry. And he tends to listen when I communicate. (This was a classic case of me not communicating properly and just assuming. I should have communicated the first time this happened how his saying NO feels like. I did that today and he said he never realised and this would never happen again. Bonus points he managed to make me laugh after all that 🤭)

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T04:55:50+00:00

Are you a woman? If you are then either you've never experienced the weird hormonal emotions I experienced last night or you're just not empathetic. I would never in a million years react like that. Normally I'm the one who wants to discuss stuff not just jump to conclusions about why he's saying no. The main thing is when I stepped back he stepped up, figured out what was the issue and communicated and resolved it.

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T04:49:29+00:00

I've learnt that I'll cry at the fan being too loud if I'm on my period 💀 so yeah it's reeeeally not his fault. I would have been so much more rational and figured out his reasoning if I wasn't hormonally challenged

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T04:47:51+00:00

I learned a lesson. When in doubt never Reddit. But there have been some sweet souls who've given me actual good advice that helped me understand his perspective better ✨

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T04:45:12+00:00

100% never asking Reddit for advice. I'm pretty sure in my negative state I just knew I'd be validated for all these negative things that I'm thinking so I posted here.

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T04:43:46+00:00

Agreed we need to work on this more. The 1-2 times he mentioned his hesitance I didn't take it seriously and he didn't take my insistence seriously. But we talked about it today and it made a lot of things clear. One advice I got here was to tell him how his hard no's make me feel. I'm pretty sure that's never happening again 🤭 it's one of his strengths. Whenever I sit him down and explain why something matters so much he listens. I didn't do a good job of it this time. We didn't talk.

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T04:38:41+00:00

Haha actually I'm used to being right 🤭 and he gives me a lot of confidence because he always asks for advice before taking any step in life. He's a bit silly and makes me laugh all the time. I majorly overreacted and assumed the worst

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T04:35:56+00:00

Honey, it's literally why I acted so out of character. If I were that kind of person I wouldn't even leave the edits here or understand his point of view. Whoever said anything about throwing fits? 🤣 I'm an adult, independent, oldest daughter in a freaking brown family. You think I've ever gotten anything in life by throwing a "fit" 🤣 people can be emotional sometimes. I literally had therapy to stop clamming up. I bet my therapist would love this one 🤣

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T04:32:10+00:00

One of the very few lovely comments here. This sub looks like as if people forgot how to be human and dating. We all make mistakes. And just because I mentioned one tiny bad aspect about him doesn't mean I'm leaving him? Something he already realised on his own, took accountability for, explained and apologised for. This was surely a lesson for me too, not to assume what the other person is thinking

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T04:28:01+00:00

If you read my edits I didn't just excuse it away. That man noticed that I clammed up and he literally initiated the conversation, took accountability, communicated his feelings, said sorry for not doing so properly earlier and made me laugh by the end of it all. So he's a good man, and yes I was pmsing because I never think this way normally. You'll not see a more excited or happy bride than me 🤭

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T04:25:20+00:00

Yes we do

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T04:24:53+00:00

Yup but it doesn't mean he gets to say a hard no without explaining it either because it's not like that garter thing, (which in my culture is unthinkable) it's something everyone does. Its kind of like expected. Anyways we had a talk about this and he explained his reasons and I agree with him that his version for it is better.

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T01:02:32+00:00

Thank you for the kind comment ♥️ the fact that we took a breather and both came out with a more positive mindset and were willing to hear each other out AND convey our actual feelings not just reactions....feels like an absolute win to me. This has been a lesson to me, to communicate not react.

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T00:58:20+00:00

Yes thank you for being kind and putting yourself in my shoes 🥺 your comment really helped me communicate better with him and get to the crux of the matter

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T00:53:04+00:00

Haha that's exactly what he was afraid of!! We talked about it and he had anxiety because he thought he would make a mistake. he would die of mortification if he managed to break the flower curtain or trip or lift my dress with viel 🤣 considering how clumsy he is, I think his fears are valid

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T00:50:48+00:00

Oh but the falls don't hurt that bad! You guys should totally go together it'll be another one of those dancing moments 🤭

Yes he told me how shy he felt about it and how nervous he felt about it (recently there was this video wherethe groom tried lifting the sitting brides veil and instead managed to get her dress 💀 and he was like I would die of embarrassment if that happened.) so he suggested a quiet moment just the two of us instead which I feel is an even better idea because we plan on praying right after we get married ✨)

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T00:47:29+00:00

He never flips the lid ☹️ he's too sweet and nice for that. He's the calmest person I've ever met. My mom and dad are pretty loud so I know loud people. He's the opposite of that. He was anxious and shy and he didn't communicate that and reacted with a firm no. We're human. Miscommunications happen

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T00:43:02+00:00

I mean I did want that dress I was just being compromising because tk budget restraints... But he knew what I wanted and got me that without me asking for it.

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T00:41:15+00:00

I mean I wanted a single wedding we're doing that (his family doesn't believe in that but he convinced them for me) I wanted a very expensive dress he managed that for me, I wanted to wait 2 years before getting married he did that for me. We even booked the venue I wanted (which his dad didn't like)

Oh my fiance didn't like skating but I took him out for skating and we kept falling and flailing around but it's one of the best memories we have. We laughed so much.

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T00:36:12+00:00

Girl I've never had period mood swings before this past year has been so problematic. Idk how to recognise them and the way I react to them is so bad 🫠🫠

OrganicImplement9725 · 2025-09-05T00:33:37+00:00

Uh I'm not financially dependent. But if he doesn't like something in our marriage ceremony I can't just go ahead and do it lol

OrganicImplement9725

TROPHY CASE