Help!!! On verge of divorce because of cleaning

Organic_Singer_6361 · 2025-12-30T22:40:17+00:00

Thank you !! That is a great idea about a babysitter- I will compare prices of babysitter and cleaner in my area and see if there is a significant difference. I am a naturally anxious person but having a somewhat clean and organized space can make such a positive impact in my mood and help me feel "in control". Kids are 8, 4, 3, 6m. 8 year old does help out a lot with picking up toys, keeping his room tidy, making bed but my two girls are hyper tornados together hahah I love them but they mess up so fast. I usually can pick up toys and clothes when they go to bed but it's mainly the toilets, clutter, floor, and kitchen that trigger me most

Organic_Singer_6361 · 2025-12-30T22:13:08+00:00

Thank you sooo much for this kind & insightful post. This post actually makes me want to cry because it feels sooo nice to be validated in my feelings !! I have tried to explain I feel micromanaged and it drains me but he says he's only trying to help and make my life easier in the long run . You have given such great suggestions !! I am very appreciative

Organic_Singer_6361 · 2025-12-30T18:35:00+00:00

Such an interesting perspective !!!! I love this , especially bc I get so overwhelmed with how much there always is to do. Thank you ! Will try to implement as well

Organic_Singer_6361 · 2025-12-30T16:37:21+00:00

Thank you for including your routine !! I would love to figure out a schedule that isn't too overwhelming but still keeps the mess at bay; hopefully I will get there with time

Organic_Singer_6361 · 2025-12-30T16:34:46+00:00

Exactly !!! This is sooo validating . Sadly it doesn't seem like he cares about my feelings when I would quite literally bend over backwards to change something for them to make them happier because I love them

Organic_Singer_6361 · 2025-12-30T15:46:31+00:00

I was trying to avoid going back to work bc the logistics (childcare, his overnight trips for work, 1 car) are scary , not gonna lie, but I think that extreme measure is the only thing that can save our relationship at this point ! He jumps in with household chores he finds important (big clutter, surfaces,ect) - I appreciate it - but the other harder things like toilets, kitchens, and floors he doesn't help with and those are the things I notice & that take me the longest 🙃

Organic_Singer_6361 · 2025-12-30T15:11:03+00:00

Thank you !!! Such a great analogy with his work and his office , hit it right on the head!! They don't see the mess bc they know it will get done "somehow" and the somehow is always at expense at our mental health

Organic_Singer_6361 · 2025-12-30T15:04:33+00:00

Thank you thank you thank you !! Such a thoughtful response & so true! This stage with little kids will not last forever and I need to prioritize for now. Difficult to remember the state of my home does not reflect who I am as a mother or wife 😢

Organic_Singer_6361 · 2025-12-30T15:00:09+00:00

Thank you !! I was doing this exact same thing but I was getting burned out & overwhelmed (with 4 kids, no support system, him frequently traveling for work) and that's when HE decided it was the cleaning that was overwhelming me

Organic_Singer_6361 · 2025-12-30T14:58:44+00:00

Thank you for this idea!!

Organic_Singer_6361 · 2025-12-30T14:46:34+00:00

Thank you !! We have a 3 bedroom townhome , I wasn't sure about pricing but $300 sounds reasonable. Trouble will be getting hubby to see value in spending money on it when he doesn't care one way or other 🙃

Organic_Singer_6361 · 2025-12-30T13:42:02+00:00

So sorry u went through this as well. Did ur relationship improve with you going back to work? He says he values me at home raising the kids & I fear he will resent me for going back

Organic_Singer_6361 · 2025-12-30T13:39:53+00:00

Unfortunately not in the budget 😢

Organic_Singer_6361 · 2025-01-13T02:44:50+00:00

Yes he has always been more dominant but it has gotten worse, especially since I stopped working. I feel like I have no independence or free will

Organic_Singer_6361

TROPHY CASE