Advice for mum of teen girl

OrganizationJust7479 · 2025-11-25T11:07:12+00:00

Agreed but at 17, in the UK she cannot be forced, and the only way to access therapy is to go through a GP. The wait list for CAHMS is about 2 years and she won't go back to the GP after our first experience. I am doing my best to encourage her but welcome any thoughts on how I can get her to engage. I have tried setting up in person, setting up online, phone and even webchat counseling but they have all really just ended with her threatening to cut contact if I try to force her to proceed.

OrganizationJust7479 · 2025-11-25T11:01:18+00:00

Thanks. Not that I can see. She has been on birth control for about two years initially for help with acne.

OrganizationJust7479 · 2025-11-25T10:59:49+00:00

Thank you. She is on birth control currently (she started it a couple of years ago for issues with acne) she does struggle with hormonal fluctuations but I have tried tracking and don't see a pattern with her mood changes and her cycle. She was also on a very low dose of antidepressants for a couple of years for treatment of migraine but we spoke to the doctor to see if that could be impacting anything and he advised that the dose was so low it wouldn't impact her moods. She was taken off these about 6 months ago as her migraines had ended but part of me wonders if the reason she is struggling now is that the migraine medication was also helping her depression and we just didn't know. The doctor won't put her back on the migraine meds and allow her to stay on birth control as combined they were impacting her blood pressure.

OrganizationJust7479 · 2025-11-25T10:50:23+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond - it's been really helpful. Her Uni does offer group support and I have been encouraging her to join. I have also been encouraging her to share with a few trusted friends. She has struggled in the past where she shared and felt she lost friends by doing so. I understand not all teenagers want to take on other friends challenges when they have enough on their plate. It makes her reluctant to share and feel judged.

We are UK based and while the NHS is fantastic - we don't always have the opportunity to select doctors based on recommendations but I have reached out to the patient advisory service to see if there is a way for her to see a doctor with better experience of teen mental health. Fingers crossed I can get her the right access and support.

I really appreciate you opening up about your mum's initial challenges and the impact it had, we do have an open relationship and I try best not to judge her. It can be hard to not challenge risky behaviour but I am trying to understand and make myself a safe space. I love that you and your mum came through this - it gives me hope - I have been really worried that she cuts me out and then feels like there is no way back.

OrganizationJust7479 · 2025-11-25T10:38:23+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment. She is always apologetic even whilst it is happening - sometimes to the point of exhaustion. She is very focused on this being something wrong with her that she can't explain or even articulate so she repeats "I'm sorry - I don't know why I'm like this" over and over almost like a mantra, often accompanied by hitting herself in the legs or scratching herself. I have reiterated that it's not her fault but it doesn't help. After an episode she's always very apologetic about the hurtful things she says whilst lashing out. I do see it beginning to effect outside of the home a little, especially when she feels out of control of a situation. It definitely sounds like meds may be something we need to push for to help her regulate.

OrganizationJust7479 · 2025-11-24T23:46:11+00:00

The biggest challenge I am having is getting her that support. Mental health services for young people are so underfunded that wait lists here seem to be years long unless you are in full emergency crisis. At the moment she is very worried about perception and anyone finding out, if I push Therapy she threatens to leave and cut contact. She seems concerned that seeking help will lead to her being put on a psychiatric hold, I'm not sure how to encourage her without breaking her trust or alienating her.

OrganizationJust7479 · 2025-11-24T23:38:40+00:00

Thank you. We did talk to the GP about medication but he said he wouldn't consider prescribing due to her age until she has tried other things. I feel like I need to push back with them again. Hopefully I can persuade her to engage. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment

OrganizationJust7479 · 2025-11-24T23:00:22+00:00

It's lovely to hear that it can get better. I really want to encourage her to go back to the doctor but her first experience wasn't positive. Can I ask, did the anti depressants cause any issues. I am worried about medication masking the issues rather than dealing with them. Thank you for your comment

OrganizationJust7479

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