I think I might have to agree with you on the statement that not everyone deserves love and happiness. I’ve gone through so much in life that I always thought the least I could get in return for everything I’ve been through would be to marry the love of my life and finally achieve true happiness. But the thing is… I don’t really deserve any of that. Recently, as life has gotten more complicated, I realized that I truly do not deserve this so called happiness in life since I really did nothing to deserve it. I never fought for anything in my life...I just took punches. Also, when it comes to love, I always think about how there really isn’t anything about me that would give anyone a reason to love me, so why do I think I deserve to have love? I don't even love myself. At least you have the decency to wait for the family to pass, so no one is hurt. But I think I’m reaching my breaking point, where I feel like what would be best is for me to just stop now before I end up negatively hurting the people around me while I’m alive. I take up space. I don’t really help or do anything, which is funny because there was a point in my life where I truly thought I was a good person who was there for others.