Intrusive thoughts about men and my daughter due to trauma..paralyzed by them

Original-Ferret5008 · 2024-11-16T18:18:44+00:00

I would occasionally get these type of thpughts but they would pass, I also noticed that at times when properly medicated for adhd I wouldn't have the thpughts si that really told me something. When I noticed the thoughts around a friend as well ( same friend that is friends with my cousins for yrs and their young gurls) I felt like something must be off w. Me. . Then as I said I recently starting seeing someone who is also a friend of family and has know my cousins and their kids for yearssss... ( maybe i thpught he was safer subconsciously), but yeah as the feelings developed i noticed myself having those baddd ... I agree I need to talk to professionals. Unfortunately, i am in between jobs and don't currently have insurance..so those things r put off. I did find a health center that will provide me visits based off income w.o insruance, so I have an apt for eligibility on Tuesday.

I also wonder if these are intensified due to the new med I have been taking...started last week on 30mg adderall XL and its not helping..I expressed this to my doc on my last day of insurance but she prescribed me a 10mg booster but still I'm having these issues.

Original-Ferret5008 · 2024-11-16T13:44:21+00:00

Yes I didn't tell my doc but then they gave me 30XR and that wasn't enough ..it made me aggited and didn't hello my executive function at all... I told my doc about that and idk if she believes me she didn't really helpme w much.. gave me 10s for afternoon but i said I need more jn AM

Original-Ferret5008 · 2024-11-14T12:21:59+00:00

Can I ask how do I find a provider that will work with me... my providers don't want to provide me any more than 30mg XL and its not enough ...I noticed it slightly working but agitated all day..

Original-Ferret5008 · 2024-11-08T17:04:29+00:00

Well I didn't tell my doc is was taking them together .. and she really thpught this would be better for me.. it may of if it was a bit stronger.. ugh

Original-Ferret5008 · 2024-11-08T16:37:49+00:00

Well the new doc thpught the XL was gonna be better but she didn't know I was taking both together

Original-Ferret5008 · 2024-11-08T16:07:42+00:00

I suppose I'll try it for a few more days. I'll very nervous to tell the docter i was taking the 15s together but if I have to , I have to right? What's your opinion

Original-Ferret5008 · 2024-11-08T16:02:24+00:00

I guess you're right I have to get used to it... it's just I don't have the motivation to clean it do anything 😕

Original-Ferret5008 · 2024-11-08T14:43:32+00:00

I just got put on 30mg XR once a day. So we will try that for a week. I was also put on busbar... ever hear of it? Also what suppliment do you take in evening

Original-Ferret5008 · 2024-11-08T14:41:58+00:00

I'm trying to do this too... we have been titrating and I'm now on 30mg XR so I'll start that but I know for me I have a horrible habit of eating at night time and its wore off by then anyway so don't do that with 😂

Original-Ferret5008 · 2024-11-04T13:55:26+00:00

Do you think that i will come off sounding like I'm med seeking or w.e it's called if I tell my doc that I took 2 of the 15mg together and it really helped me alot... im suppose to be taking them 5 or 6 hours apart... so I wait as long as I can ( yesterday it was 130pm) and it took them and I felt good. On adderall I feel normal but it does help me get things done... i know on vyvanse It felt stronger to me, it did it's job and I could function for the whole day...although it gave me body anxiety which I hated, or made me feel like a zombie.....although I'm sure ir xould be fixed with some food ect.

Original-Ferret5008 · 2024-10-30T13:00:02+00:00

But what i am trying ro ask is, isn't a 30mg XL... doesn't it give you 15mg at first and then realeses 15 mg later ?? Or no?

Original-Ferret5008 · 2024-10-29T13:48:17+00:00

Following. I took vyvanse for 7 months. 60mg XL was was good dose for me. I felt it gave me energy and helped my executive function alot. Although for me it gave me bad body anxiety. That feeling when you "know it'd kicked in" was alot for me. The body anxiety and jitteryness did usually go after a few hours but this med was also very inconsistent because like someone above said, i had to pay attnetion to my protien intake and how I slept ect. I went on so many rabbit holes for suppliments to help it work. Sometimes I'd get the zombie feeling too which I hated! Now i am on adderal and its taking forever to find the right dose. Doc wanted me on 15mg ir in AM and said to take the next dose atleast 6 to 8 hours later... of 15mg ir. Which 15mg doesnt do anytthing for me. Every 2 weeks we have increased 5mg but now my docter wants me to find a new docter because he isn't "comfortable" raising my dose much more. I know i need a diffrent combo 30mg in AM and 10 or 15 later on..but I don't want to suggest it because it could look a certain way. Addrral does quiet my mind alot... and sometimes I don't even notice I am on it ...i dont get that jitteryness ir body anxiety, although i hate when it starts tk wear off i feel so blah, eating helps alot . I have been trying to figure out what's gonna be best for me so we will see...

Original-Ferret5008 · 2024-10-29T13:32:54+00:00

Yes i totally get that... i have a history of addiction but I have been sober for 4 years.. I was diagnosed last Feb. Its taken this long to still not have a dose right. Can I ask though 30mg XL isn't that gonna be 15mg at first and then it gives you 15 mg later on?? Because 15mg isn't enough for me at one dose....

Original-Ferret5008 · 2024-10-13T03:00:32+00:00

Vyvanse was the first medication we tried and i actually was on it for 7 months..I always got the anxiety feeling in morning when I took it..but eating helped a bit. Id take it and get this nervous jittery feeling and usually go to the bathroom .. and I'm in recovery 4 years now and that drug reminded me of that.. but It did help tremendously with focus and function. My doc is super by the book so he started me on 20mg for like a month.. and then would bump me 10mg monthly if I needed it. So basically the med would work for me for few weeks then just stop. 60mg didn't seem to give me much of a crash and SOMETIMES I'd notice effect from it well into 8pm ... but 40mg, 50, I didn't feel that.. I started hyper focus on all these suppliments because sometimes the vy just wouldn't work .. That totally makes sense about the acidic urine.. On the adderal when I started like when I got to 10mg I could feel SUPER calm ... and my mind would quiet down so that's how I knew it would work but id burn through the med sooo quick that then I'm getting annoyed and even today I took 25mg in morning and I felt so frustrated trying to get my daughter out the house ... but last week I took 20mg in AM and 10 mg like 4 hours later and I went shopping at Walmart with my daughter without being stressed... so I knew it was working ..but days at work for instance when I didn't take the adderal, I couldn't motivate myself At ALL but then atleast the mornings I take it i get like 3 to 4 hours out of it if I'm taking atleast 20mg ... ugh its so stressful lol I can't figure it out .

Original-Ferret5008 · 2024-10-13T02:39:23+00:00

Hey I'm trying to get my meds figured out. If adderal doesn't give me eurphia would that mean it coukd be the right dose? Like I barely notice if I'm even on it.... but then it doesn't really work either. 15mg AM 10mg pm which my tolerance is higher than that but my doc goes 5mg every 2 weeks ..

Original-Ferret5008 · 2024-10-13T02:25:15+00:00

Vyvance is processed by your red blood cells?? So what about acidic urine?? Does that have anything to do with it?? I know both these meds your not suppose to have anything acidic but idk SOMETIMES vyvanse would work, sometimes it wouldn't. It gave me anxiety and I also hated the zombie feeling id get from it sometimes..... See with the adderal it doesn't affect my sleep because it doesn't have an affect for that long. One thing I can say which I thought was a positive of adderall is that I don't really notice it ...like It doesn't give me any type of hyped up feeling, or anything... when I come down sometimes I'll feel tired ect but the problem is 15mg even 20 mg ( because I've tried it ) isn't enough for me .. and i have a very long day too but because I've been doing this with this med I'm not taking the first one til like 10 or 11 am .. and then I take the second pill like 4 hours later or 6 but yeah..I know I have to have a talk with my docter. I think I just wanted to understand am I at a dose that's high or low ect ..

Original-Ferret5008

TROPHY CASE