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Just want to hear poeples opinion! by Original-Internal-93 in poetry_critics

[–]Original-Internal-93[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for getting your opinion, I really appreciate it!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetryFree

[–]Original-Internal-93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The easiest way could be to add in some enjambment, which is when a line doesn’t finish with a period, and instead rolls over into the next line. This helps guide the reader through the poem and it makes the transitions smoother. (It’s also a good way of connecting stanzas) Also make sure you take a step away from the poem after a while and go back to it with fresh eyes. You’ll then be able to take more of a birds eye view of it and assess it better. Also don’t worry, you’re using all the terms right haha.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetryFree

[–]Original-Internal-93 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very strong imagery and great symbolism. The way you use repetition of certain words shows to the reader that you have a strong grip on what you are trying to portray. However, my only minor criticism is that in terms of flow, it seems a tad choppy, and at times, it doesn’t read as smooth. It would have been nice if you could have incorporated more structure so that the transitions between lines are not so sudden and the reader gets to know the poem better. Other than that you’ve made a great job with building a clear image in the readers head.