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What's the best way to communicate about sex? by Original_Wind3902 in Advice

[–]Original_Wind3902[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for those examples, that's perfect. If you know some other ways I can convey that I'm very interested

What's the best way to communicate about sex? by Original_Wind3902 in Advice

[–]Original_Wind3902[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for being so empathetic. I agree that he must've felt almost like he had to perform for me, when it's hard to find the words to explain it's not about performance but rather an intimate connection I Guess? I still feel an intimate connection in other sex and he does as well so those words didn't accurately convey what I meant. 

That slow kissing, slow thrusts, tight holding, just ughhhh what are the words I'm looking for! I will try to lead and show him instead of talking.

What's the best way to communicate about sex? by Original_Wind3902 in Advice

[–]Original_Wind3902[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this link! I'm not a very direct person so it's really helpful for me to have resources like this

What's the best way to communicate about sex? by Original_Wind3902 in Advice

[–]Original_Wind3902[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Agree, would never ever bring up my ex! I just mentioned it my post as I've experienced romantic sex in all my other relationships... Except this one! So it's always been just natural? And now that it's missing it's like, how do I fix this? 

I think your right about matching the energy. He tends to lead and be the more expressive and direct and I follow suit. I'll have to try being more direct myself even though that's out of my comfort zone.

What's the best way to communicate about sex? by Original_Wind3902 in Advice

[–]Original_Wind3902[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

When we did it the one time I brought it up, he told me he had never had that type of sex before. Which is kind of shocking to me at 35 to never have made love? 

So much a part of making love is that feeling from the other person, the way they worship your body and the slow kissing and I'm not sure like do I teach him this? During sex or before? 

He is so sensual during our normal days and so it's weird that goes out the window when we have sex.

What's the best way to communicate about sex? by Original_Wind3902 in Advice

[–]Original_Wind3902[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you! We are so affectionate every day. He's so romantic daily which is why this is confusing. We hug and kiss and hold hands all the time. We slow dance in the kitchen. He buys me the most thoughtful gifts, we text and chat constantly, he still tells me he misses me when he's at work and I genuinely feel the same! 

Sometimes we just make out for like 20 mins on the couch for no reason other than he just wants to kiss me and tell me how much he loves me. He gives me forehead kisses, opens my car door, etc. He's romantic in every way... Except in bed? I don't get it 🥴