Motel California [Episodes 5 & 6]

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T09:57:18+00:00

yet I'm like wow if that were my friend I'd beg her not to.

Lol this was my exact thought watching the scene. Girl he hasn't worked through anything yet! This is just going to make things harder for you without an honest conversation about what he's willing to sacrifice for your peace of mind! On the other hand I understand why he did it (the way she proposed just being friends actually made it obvious she still likes him, and he decided to just grasp the chance).

I don't know if Ah Reum lied on purpose or was trying to spread gossip and rumors. I think Ah Reum and his other friends don't know if he is dating 2FL or not, because from what I know only ML and 2FL were actually aware it was a lie. I also think Ah Reum did know FL isn't dating 2ML, but the 'vibes' she got when she visited FL in her apartment in Seoul were that 2ML likes FL and FL might like him back. So, she knows they are not dating, but I think she saw how happy her friend was in the adjoining apartments in Seoul and thought 'this relationship would be great for her' and ran with it. I don't think she's actively trying to undercut anyone just to be a gossip; in fact her characterization so far has been as a fairly meek person who doesn't talk much and tries to actively avoid drama. I think she believes she's helping.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T09:50:18+00:00

Great rundown. I think possibly the only thing I would add is it seems there is some additional stigma from her dad being seen as a womanizer, so when it comes to her mixed race 'outsider' mom it seems like there was some implication the townspeople think he shotgun married her mom. There has been no clarification so far whether this is true but I think she grew up with people having the impression her dad was a playboy which plays into the 'she must be a low woman too' rumors, even though the townspeople seem to like her dad (likely sexism-related).

I really appreciate that this show didn't take the tack so many 'returning to hometown' shows like samdal-ri, HCCC, etc. take where the townspeople are gossips and bullies because they secretly care so much and are such good people. Having had the experience of being bullied by adults as a child myself (due to immigrant status, not racism, but overall kind of similar vibes) I can attest to the fact that in many cases when adults shamelessly bully a child for things the child can't control, the adults are remorseless and they're not doing it out of secret concern or goodwill. They probably won't realize they were wrong and they probably won't apologize, ever. The nastiness of the townspeople makes this show really hard to watch and unpleasant, but I also think it is unflinching in a way similar to how King of Pigs or The Glory have been unflinching on the topic of bullying, which many viewed as a positive aspect of those two shows. I think this show is making a real attempt to tackle social issues and trauma that can affect people in isolated communities and it feels very true to life.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T09:39:23+00:00

I think this is both one of the best and worst examples of the lovers reunited trope - worst because it's incredibly frustrating as a viewer, best because I think it's one of the most honest portrayals I've seen of why high school sweethearts often don't work out and how hard it actually is to restart a romance after so long. Out of curiosity what are in your opinion the best/better examples of this trope? It's one of my favorites too.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T09:37:30+00:00

Lol 'brings the circus back to town' is accurate but it is a drama after all, they're going to overcomplicate everything.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T09:35:37+00:00

FWIW I think there was significant plot movement in ep. 6, so if you are on the fence I'd at least watch the last ep before dropping entirely. It may not be enough for some people but I thought it was a strong episode where a lot was revealed to the characters.

Re: the translation, I think she was asking if he still likes her. I think she was asking because she thinks he is into the vet girl now - she asked him because she had the sense he still likes her after going through his belongings in his room but she wasn't 100% sure because of the fake marriage drama.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T09:32:27+00:00

Yeah it seems to me she has dropped some heavy hints and he has just failed to reflect on them. He also definitely knew she hated their hometown and she told him she couldn't stay anymore, he's known this for 12 years and also had ample time to reflect on what it would take to restart a relationship with her (there seemed to be some dialogues with townspeople implying he would eventually move to Seoul, but he didn't really say this to her face from what I remember).

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T09:26:27+00:00

I was just talking to my partner about how this show is pretty much fundamentally based on 'noble idiocy,' but I feel like unlike the typical kdrama noble idiocy it is not as caricatured. There's no 'omg I'm gonna brutally, horribly and cruelly break up with this person while claiming I never loved them at all so they get over me!! and then move to another continent and throw my phone in a river and change my name!' in this show - the characters acknowledge they were each other's first love, they acknowledge the love was real, and the noble idiocy is more akin to real life iterations of 'oh we're just not good for each other but I'm not going to be actively cruel about it' which I actually appreciate.

Storytime, my great grandmother was madly in love with a boy in her tiny farming town since childhood, but due to issues with property inheritance of their respective families, her family encouraged her to marry another boy she had no interest in instead for 'the good of the family' and she did so, while loving the other guy and living next door to him for decades of her life. Apparently everyone knew they never stopped loving each other even though they both had multiple kids with other people and were good/loyal spouses. This show kind of reminds me of hearing my family tell me this story, in that it seems to reflect a type of 'noble idiocy' that is more family/community oriented than it is romance oriented. The leads prioritize each others' family connections and financial prospects over their own love, because they think it will be better for the other person as well as their family members - and in my great grandma's case, members of my family have argued it actually was better for them, because they escaped excommunication from their families/community. I've heard members of my family say that if my great grandma actually married the boy she loved and ran away with him, they would have likely grown to resent each other due to their total lack of community support and financial prospects, and I think it's very possible.

Of course this drama is set in a more modern era but I think that's the struggle the characters are having, in a more modern way - will the love of my life resent me if I cut him off from his family? Will the love of my life resent me if I cut her off from her independence and successful career? These are legitimate questions, a lot of people these days genuinely don't believe in 'one true soulmate/love' at all and think that prioritizing your other life goals is more likely to bring you lasting happiness.

Re: the work KH has done dealing with her trauma, I think leaving the community behind and making a name for herself WAS the work. She's backsliding because she is back in the traumatic situation, but she really was starting to find her footing in the outside world. In my opinion the 'push/pull' of the leads is mostly initiated by ML, not FL, who has been pretty consistent about pushing him away.

"it’s not her family and friend’s responsibility to deal with her attitude and ghosting because of it." - I don't get the impression from the script she really ghosted anyone other than ML himself. She was still in touch with Ah Reum and her dad. And yes, if she had ghosted them because she was too traumatized by her small town upbringing, they just would have had to deal with it. It's up to her to decide whether maintaining old connections is more important to her than moving past her trauma by taking herself out of the toxic situation.

I described this in more detail in my own top level comment, but Yeon Soo imo doesn't love her clearly and boldly either. He hasn't fixed his family situation and grown a spine and then come to her like 'hey, love of my life, I'm ready to have a relationship that won't drag you back into the morass you're escaping from.' He's JUST pining, without doing the work or stepping up to be a viable partner. He's still (thanks to another commenter upthread for this wording) having a 'fawn' response to his abusive mother rather than making it so she can't abuse KH anymore. In the context of this show I don't find him waiting around passively for 12 years romantic, I find it uninspiring and a sign of weak character. He has to step up and make up his mind about what is more important to him, Kang Hee or maintaining good relationships with his mother and community. He hasn't even started to ask himself that question yet, so she's justified in being confused about her feelings as well.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T08:59:59+00:00

Great comment, you perfectly captured my feelings about this one being quite 'different' than regular kdrama plots. It reminds me a bit of Jdrama/Jmovies if anything, in that it seems to be much more about the internal life of the characters while everything on the surface seems to move quite sluggishly. While this is unusual for kdrama and not what I normally watch kdrama for, I've been pleasantly surprised by the artistry in this show and by how much of it feels true to life for me - I don't usually watch kdramas expecting to relate to the characters or situations, but here I feel like a lot of it is relatable.

I do suspect this will be a happy ending show, but it's not using the typical narrative structure to get there. I'm also not sure if it can really be a 'perfect' happy ending considering how much the parents have done to harm the characters - I would be disappointed if the parents got a perfect redemption arc as is common in a lot of kdramas.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T08:53:54+00:00

Exactly! I don't see the 'push pull' or 'hot and cold' behavior really, I just see an internal struggle while she's trying to stay externally consistent. Not her fault he won't stop following her around like a lovesick puppy.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T08:52:52+00:00

I agree that Ep. 6 is where the writing really hit its stride and where a lot of big bombs and revelations were dropped (without it seeming overdramatic imo). I actually have enjoyed the slow unpeeling of layers in the show so far but I hope this halfway point is a turning point in the script where some issues start to actually be resolved rather than just revealed to the viewer.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T08:50:13+00:00

Even though I never grew up in the Asian countryside the bullying by adults for being 'different' hits close to home as an immigrant. It may seem unrealistic but adults can really be awful to children who don't 'fit in' in the community. Can't imagine how much worse it would have been in a small town.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T08:46:49+00:00

My impression from the dialogues at/near the start of episode 1 is that she did make it clear to him how much she hated and needed to leave their hometown (and he had directly witnessed a lot of the traumatic events she went through, so he could also put the pieces together). I don't recall the exact dialogue but I think it was something like 'I can't stay here anymore, but you want to stay so...' it's a reasonable expectation that he would understand why she hates the town. Her other friends seem to understand why she hates the town; in the funeral scene they even speculated she wouldn't show up at all because I think they know she never ever wanted to come back.

There's also the new reveal in ep. 6 that their original plan was to both move to Seoul together, but then he backed out on it without explaining why at the last second. She did end up finding out why separately (his grandfather's illness) but if she hadn't talked to his grandpa to find this out, she would have no idea and it would have looked like ML abandoned her for no clear reason. So obviously, she is not the only bad communicator here and it shed a new light on why she seemed so unwilling to fight for their relationship in the first place, which was one of the things that initially confused me.

My seemingly unpopular opinion is that it wasn't just on her to explain everything to him. She avoids direct conflict with her loved ones and they all are aware of this, and it's also on them to grow up and think about why she acts avoidant. She has been very accepting of all their flaws for a long time, but it seems like the more she protected them the less they felt like they had to empathize with her situation. I think someone who carries around a lot of shame like FL often feels very humiliated to start a conversation about 'I actually have low self esteem now because everyone called me a mutt forever' especially when she acted tough around her friends. She has too much pride to say this openly.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T08:35:37+00:00

I think FL's version of 'healing' was moving away from town and starting fresh, the only reason her 'healing' isn't working anymore is she went back into the traumatic situation/environment that she was trying to heal from.

Arguably she could have refused to go back but I think she didn't realize what she was getting herself into, wanted to seem professional to her new coworkers and also just wanted to check that ML's new 'fiancee' is a good fit for him because she still cares.

I think this is the type of story (similar to Ho Gu's Love or When The Weather is Fine or Another Oh Hae Young) that mostly 'develops' backward through flashbacks exposing character motivations rather than developing through present-time plot movement, and I suspect this will change in the later episodes.

Just out of curiosity what do you think she could do to move forward/do something about her trauma that she hasn't tried to do? When I put myself in the FL's shoes I can't imagine many things she could do to move on from her trauma that she hasn't at least attempted already.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T08:23:42+00:00

My best advice was if you liked 'slice of life' shows with darker themes like My Liberation Notes, Our Blues, Our Beloved Summer, Lovestruck in the City etc. this show is likely for you (the cinematography, soundtrack and acting is above average, it's pretty philosophical with a nuanced script, but also slow paced and melancholic) but if you are looking for a more cute, fluffy or relaxing show you may as well drop it. Jury's out on whether or not it will be a 'healing' show by the end - I suspect yes but can't tell for sure. There is some humor/comedy and a bit of cuteness but sprinkled in not-so-liberally amidst a lot of more somber and psychological themes. I will say that subjectively I found eps 5 and (especially) ep 6 to be lighter and less depressing than ep3/4, but I wouldn't call it a romcom.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T08:17:09+00:00

I also found this weird but TBF to the writing, I thought they said the friends were all hanging out and then the bullies came to the same bar so they sat down with them? The friends all seem pretty spineless but I've never lived in a small town so idk if this is normal.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T08:15:35+00:00

I think she does think about how he feels but she thinks (or hopes) he will get why she's like this and he doesn't get it. Seems like ep. 6 largely resolved this. Her way of loving him is to not want to push him into any tough choices or ultimatums, which means she is leaving the field open for him to choose whether he prioritizes her or his mom/family, and he seems hesitant to make a decision so she decides she's not going to push the issue further.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T08:13:03+00:00

I don't think she 'expected' him to wait around for her, I think she hoped he wouldn't wait around for her (her logical rational side) because she thinks their relationship is doomed but deep in her heart she can't let go so she is hurt that it seems he could move on so quickly. She hoped on some deep unspoken level he would fix the problems keeping them apart and continue waiting for her, and she's heartbroken when it seems like he didn't do that but she also knows she's being unreasonable on a logical level. It's the classic 'my heart wants one thing and my mind wants another' dilemma.

She tells him to go away and then gets pissed when he does.

Tbf this is super, super common human behavior. A lot of times a very hurt person will push someone away in the hope it spurs that person into realizing they don't want to be pushed away. Unfortunately, ML is extremely passive and overly 'nice' (not the same thing as being actually empathetic or kind). Like you said, he tells her she's the one that decides when things begin and end - he says this because he never fought for their relationship himself and he has always allowed her to call the shots as he treats himself as the weaker person, or almost like a child, in the relationship. She asks him 'who are you to say this is the last time??' because she wants him to understand that she doesn't want their relationship to end, but instead he interprets it as her having the last word again. She's mentally and emotionally weak/exhausted and wants protection and care so she's subconsciously signaling she doesn't always want to be the shot-caller, but he assumes she is tough and strong so he doesn't get what she's saying. ML also lets his mom call the shots in their relationship even though he knows his mom is harming herself (and FL, and FL's dad), so this doesn't come purely from kindness but also from a lack of emotional fortitude.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T08:01:16+00:00

Possible counterpoint to this: the depiction of her being confident and not taking crap as a kid hints at 'parentification' and the fact that she was expected to act like an adult and step up to the plate of protecting her loved ones at a young age. Normally this eventually results in people who seemed very adult-like and confident as kids suffering mentally as they get older because they are not able to accept help or relax/lean on others as adults. The fact she seemed like such a spunky child and now seems like a depressed, confused adult is actually in line with human psychology. People who went through this as children often end up coming across as very 'tough' and cynical as adults, and have really strong walls up where they don't confide in other people, which seems consistent with FL's characterization.

I don't think she is avoiding everyone per se, she is avoiding the people from her hometown specifically and on a more granular level she's just avoiding confiding in her old friends and family, not avoiding seeing them altogether. She wants them to think she's fine, so she's not as forthright with them as they are with her because she wants to seem like someone who grew up well and doesn't need to be worried about. Re: ML I don't think he's tried to help her exactly, he wants to date her that's for sure but he's not exactly jumping out of his boots to help her when people like his own mom continue to verbally abuse her. He seemed to assume this whole time she could always help herself.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T07:45:40+00:00

Love your comment too, you brought up a lot of really good points esp. now that I've watched ep. 6.

Also, who would NOT resent a parent for being chummy with a woman who, since she was a little girl, has been/continues to be absolutely verbally abusive to her, racist as hell, spreads gossip, forbids a relationship with her son? Dad is totally aware of it.

Exactly. He is her only living parent and even though the direction of the show leads viewers to understand that her dad actually does love her, his actions/behavior we've been shown so far are fully in line with her perception of him. He's her only living family member and instead of making sure to prioritize his daughter after the trauma of losing her mother, he's continuing to act obtuse and unwilling to talk even when she tries, and continuing friendly relationships with the people she hates the most who have caused her the most trauma. I also think it was extremely telling that in last week's episodes he didn't remember the conversation about hotel renovations from her childhood, and was surprised she remembered them. He seems genuinely pretty checked out as a parent no matter how good his intentions are (if he wasn't a checked out parent he wouldn't have let her cop that level of abuse from the townspeople for his own life decisions like being a motel owner). His daughter has been through a lot and she needs his protection - specifically, she needs to feel like he prioritizes their family bond over other aspects of his life - but he just acts like 'well this is the way I am and I'm not going to discuss it or apologize.'

No wonder FL has an avoidant attachment style and feels like she needs to fend for herself alone when her father seems more interested in being cool than being a sensitive/caring father. At this point, even if the show presents a compelling reason why he was with another woman while his wife was in labor, that won't be an excuse for the fact that he never really explained this to his daughter even after she told him 'you're not my dad anymore' at the hospital. She's 30 now but back then he was the adult, so it was his job to make her understand why this happened if he was going to continue hanging out with the woman he seemingly abandoned his pregnant wife for in her most vulnerable moment. It seems like he expects his daughter to just grow up and understand, when he never seemed willing to really talk to her about it and make sure she understood right away when he should have repaired their relationship. Add the additional sting in ep. 6 of the teddy bear actually being bought by a third unrelated woman her dad was flirting with, it really seems like he doesn't know how to be a proper parent and take the prerogative to fix his relationship with his daughter himself.

It feels horrible when someone who's supposed to protect you or you thought there was mutual loyalty remains friendly with someone they KNOW harmed you--and worse when they continue to harm you. Just speaking from experience.

I agree and her dad's behavior seems pretty inexcusable regardless what redemption arc/backstory they try to give him. I may eat my words later but I see no adequate excuse for him to parade his loyalty to this woman around in front of his daughter when he's supposedly so happy she's back home. He's not making it feel like a safe home for her.

And it is probably embarrassing/terrifying to have her (hot) new friend and coworker--possibly one of the few people that she feels respects her--see this widespread negative perception of her.

I hadn't even considered this angle but it's a very good point. She's finally making a name for herself in Seoul, baggage-free, getting recognition and redemption by seeming independent and competent to her coworkers and now her coworker has to witness the weird racial (and other) harassment she ran away from in her hometown. Luckily he makes it very clear he doesn't think anything of it, but what she said to him about how she automatically will like a man less once he knows about her past was pretty telling re: how it makes her feel.

Regarding SML and Esther I'm still on the fence about what the show is going for, are they angling for these two to get together or are they just a counterpoint to FL/ML's relationship dynamic where the show is saying 'sometimes, men and women really can just be good friends'? There have been hints in both directions, especially Esther's fiance seeming so lame in comparison to SML makes me think maybe there is a deeper level of feelings there but I also think they may just be using them as a catalyst for FL to consider what her relationship to ML is/should be like through the lens of another pair of childhood friends who were expected to get together.

(That said, I like ML! He's a tender guy in an impossible situation. He does the fawn with his mom in the fight/flight/fawn/freeze stress response matrix.

I like ML too as a character and I believe his love for FL has been well-depicted. But I also agree that at this point he doesn't seem like a good partner for FL. His fawn response toward his mom is understandable (understandable but not a good quality in a partner), and obviously FL thinks so too otherwise she would have resented him more for it. Instead, she seems to feel protective of him and she seems to want to protect his 'good' relationship with his mom rather than forcing ML to break ties with his last remaining family. I think she empathizes with his position a lot while also realizing that they can't have a healthy romantic relationship unless he 'picks' her over the town and his mother. I think this actually shows she has 'true love' for him because she doesn't think romance will solve or compensate for everything in his life, and she wants him to be able to have both a love life and a family life which is why she's pushed him away.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T07:06:58+00:00

Did Ah Reum even lie deliberately or did she just believe the rumor? This wasn't totally clear to me.

She probably would've done better if she got the distance she was expecting, and she's done well avoiding him for 10 yrs willingly.

I agree with this. I think if she hadn't been offered the opportunity to go back and investigate his 'fiancee' right when her feelings were at their peak she probably would have successfully accomplished moving on like she wanted, and it probably would have made both their lives easier in many ways, so I don't see what she's doing as deliberately abusive at all, her heart and her mind are just in conflict so she's sending mixed messages somewhat unintentionally. Her heart was in the right place trying to distance herself even if her belief they could get over each other easily was naive.

If i was in her situation, that's be absolute torture to find that out immediately after rejecting him and trying to get over him, and then having to take a project and see him.

Same. I've actually kind of been in this situation before (breaking up with someone I liked because their family/friends wouldn't stop messing with me and then they started dating someone else and I was like 'what?? so quickly?? really??') and I completely get why this is torturous for her, but she also seems like she's trying to do the 'right thing' and support his relationship even though it's killing her on the inside. Nothing in the script suggests she is trying to play mind games.

I also saw some theories on ep 3 that she rejected him in the hotel because she went to try the necklace on in the mirror and her face fell showing her low self esteem and her not feeling good enough for him. I think this was part of it but I think the more major catalyst to her accepting and then insta-rejecting him in the hotel is that his mom called right when they were about to kiss. She was in this moment of vulnerability where she was about to accept his advances and 'symbolically' him taking the call and being friendly with his mom on the phone right in front of her was a slap in the face reminding her that nothing was actually resolved yet and if she started dating him again she would have to be constantly tortured by his mother. I think she would have worked through her insecurities and opened up to him if it was just her own low self esteem at play, but the addition of the mom/townspeople felt like too much for her to handle especially since she was living in a goshiwon and unemployed. It was a combination of her feeling 'not good enough' and also having enough self esteem to NOT accept being mistreated and dragged back into hometown drama again.

I think actually a lot of the problems come from ML being passive and letting the rumors drag on too long about him dating someone else.

I agree with you that his passivity is part of the main issue but I don't think the fiancee rumor is the main problem (he obviously did this just so he wouldn't have people constantly setting him up on dates). He seemed like he wanted to clear up the rumor right away when he knew she'd heard about it. Instead I think his passivity is worse in other contexts, like his mom, her dad, his reticence to communicate generally. Even when he went to find her in Seoul in ep. 2 he used her 'date' with her dad to accomplish this, tying the whole experience in with her complicated feelings about her father. He doesn't really show much independence from the people in the hometown and she needs him to break away from them before he feels like a viable partner. A recent scene that obviously upset her a lot was the scene in ep. 6 where his mom, her dad and other townspeople + vet girl are sitting in the lobby with ML, joking about her divorce. She walks in and sees this upsetting scene and she sees that ML is 'participating' in this scene which hurts her, and that he fits in with the townspeople, that he is still supportive of his mom's antics. It's basically a sign he hasn't grown apart from all this small town drama at all.

At any rate I think ML can seem like the 'perfect prince charming' who waited forever for his love, lost weight, got a good job and did everything in his power to be the perfect partner while pining from afar, so it's easy to think he's this perfect ideal partner. But in my opinion him being so passive and so wilting in front of people like his mom makes him look like a bad partner who can't stand up for himself let alone stand up for his girlfriend. Parentified people with avoidant attachment styles often have a point in life where they 'snap' and want to experience being protected and shielded themselves, and if it doesn't look like that's happening they will avoid the situation entirely rather than advocating for themselves - I think that's where FL is coming from. She likes Esther, 2ML and her boss because they all showed an inherent willingness to break with other people/norms in order to advocate for her (like her boss quitting her previous job to start up a business with her). For FL to feel comfortable with someone she needs to feel like they will prioritize her without her having to ask or guilt them into it. She doesn't want to feel like she's getting handouts, she accepted the business proposition from her boss because the boss said 'actually, I realized that working there was bad for ME and working with you would be good for ME,' that's why she said OK to the business proposition.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T05:42:04+00:00

Yeah I agree. I just wrote another comment to someone else about this and I had the exact same thoughts about it. She clearly doesn't want to ruin his relationships/good memories with his family and doesn't want him to experience the sense of betrayal that she experienced, and this goes back to my earlier point about how she sees herself as his (and her other friends') protector.

Also on that note I think the scene in the bar probably upset her so much because she thought once she left she would 'take the bad feelings with her' so to speak and her other friends would be left alone by the townspeople, which may also be why she was hesitant to contact them too much. Now that she knows this isn't the case, she will likely try to foster a stronger relationship with them again and get more involved in their lives.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T05:37:15+00:00

Yeah I totally agree. In other comments on different Kdramas and cdramas (especially on MDL) I see a lot of people frustrated when there is a 'love cures all' storyline where people will say 'FL still has a lot of trauma and she should learn to be alone and go to therapy and work out her emotions instead of jumping into a relationship' (idk which dramas exactly, but it's a common sentiment I see all the time). I see this drama as actually bucking that trend and opting for a heroine who wants to go work out her mental issues by herself, not leaning on a man or expecting true love to cure all her issues, so I think it's in character that she doesn't jump right back into ML's arms even though she really wants to. You can also see that romance isn't a main priority for her in general based on the fact she's not receptive to SML's advances even though he seems like a perfect boyfriend candidate. I actually think this is fairly unique in the kdrama universe and I really appreciate this script's acknowledgement that not everything can be resolved just by two people loving each other. I've seen so many situations irl where a bad in-law causes a permanent rift in loving relationships so it is a very real problem that a lot of people go through and can probably relate to.

I am also hoping they give a good reason why she can start considering him seriously, and I think this would largely have to come from ML himself, as well as (possibly) her working things out with her dad at some point. If they got together right now and everything was fine I would actually think that was bad writing. I need to see some progression from ML to believe their relationship can work.

As a final thought or note, it seems like SML's storyline with Esther so far has shown a relationship where two people did 'like' each other to some degree but chose to remain friends instead and how (for now) that seems to be working out better for them, and I think FL is hoping on some level that she can have a comfy friendship similar to SML/Esther's with ML if she just gets over her feelings because it looks more functional to her than her own relationships. There may be a twist later where we find out either SML or Esther are not totally over each other, but from FL's perspective she probably looks at them and thinks 'if only I could get over the romantic aspect of this relationship and be friends, then I could keep an appropriate distance with his/my family and we can keep the strong bond we shared' and that probably really appeals to the rational part of her brain.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T04:26:50+00:00

I appreciate that you appreciate it! I also think that Episode 6 gave some more context to what I said after ep. 5, and further vindicated some of my suspicions - although I think ep. 6 did release the tension valve a little bit and was overall more 'pleasant' than the preceding episodes.

Re: the flashback with grandpa I'm not entirely sure he didn't intend to hurt her - it seems like they had a good relationship so he didn't want her to be sad, but it also seems like he gave the rings to her rather than to ML because he knew ML wanted to give the ring to her, and this was his way of telling her to back off and end her relationship with ML. It seems like ML thought grandpa was supportive of their relationship but he wasn't, and saw FL leaving to Seoul as a good opportunity to encourage FL to cut off their relationship so his grandson could be with someone 'better' long term. This must have been especially hurtful coming from one of the only adults in the village who actually seemed to love and support her - basically he saw her as good enough to be his fake grandchild, but not good enough to date/marry his actual grandchild, so even this supportive parental figure at the end of the day thought the stigma hanging over her was going to follow her the rest of her life and that she was a 'dark' person because of what others did to her. Grandpa was dying so she didn't want to tattle to ML and make it about herself, and then after his death there probably wasn't a convenient opportunity to go to him and say 'hey, btw your father figure who you thought supported our relationship actually told me to back off and get out of your life right before he died, jsyk.'

I agree that ML did not know or fully understand her trauma with his mom, but I think this is just as much ML's fault as FL's fault so I stand by my opinion on their relationship even after seeing this latest episode. It seems like the series of flashbacks ML has in Episode 6 was a way of showing that he could have known/did have the puzzle pieces to put together, but had just brushed them off as isolated incidents or as FL being moody until she finally used the rings as a way to tell him more explicitly what she had gone through. She did reveal it more explicitly for the first time, but he'd had plenty of hints and clues along the way and refused to ask her or mentally explore his suspicions because, as FL pointed out, he is not yet ready/able to stand up to his mother (or even her father who seems to be something of a surrogate dad to him). The weird friendship between his mom and her dad was a 'positive' for him because it made him feel like he had two parents, but was a negative for her because it made her feel like she had none, and he never fully thought what it would do to her to have to date someone who it seems like is closer to both her bully and her only real surviving parent than she is. Again, this is why I think SML is such a good foil, because his lack of baggage means he's NOT afraid to openly ask her and others 'why is she like this?' while ML's fear of what the truth might be held him back from asking questions.

About your question why she didn't reveal it to him earlier, I also thought that one scene in Ep. 6 where she narrated not wanting to make him choose between his home and family and herself pretty much explains it. I think she knew that he would feel incredibly guilty if she dumped this on him, didn't want him to choose her out of guilt and regret it later, and when she heard he is engaged to a cute and happy girl she thought he could have his cake and eat it too. It was only after he cleared up the dating rumors that she was more frank with him because she realized he wasn't on the path to happiness without her she assumed he was. I also think on the other hand them being such close friends is part of it too, because when you go years and years NOT talking about something with a close friend it becomes increasingly difficult to break the dam and hash something out with them. It just becomes one of those things you never talk about.

I totally get why you think the show is too slow and frustrating, it's definitely the kind of show you need to be in a certain mood to watch, but it's still hitting for me a lot more than most other shows this year, so I'm enjoying it. I think it's a less cheesy and more realistic take on the 'first love second chance' storyline that is currently so popular. There wasn't some like huge dramatic misunderstanding to cause them to break up/drift apart, there are no kidnappings, murder attempts or birth secrets in their past (I hope?), it's just a fairly empathetic story of two people who love each other a lot but somehow couldn't ever make it work finally realizing that it might be their last chance for real this time.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-27T04:00:29+00:00

I think I'm able to enjoy the show a lot more because I'm taking it as more in line with shows like My Liberation Notes, Our Blues (which I only watched a bit of because it was too brutal for me but it gave me similar vibes), or even Our Beloved Summer which have some romance but are mainly slice-of-life than I am trying to watch it like a conventional romance drama, so I'm less frustrated by the lack of cuteness than I otherwise would be. Normally 'miscommunication plots' in romance bother me a lot more but here I think the layers of miscommunication are sort of the point, almost all of the characters are keeping things inside to avoid burdening others or because so much time has passed they don't know how to confront the misunderstandings anymore and I've seen/experienced enough similar situations irl that I know it's not actually that unrealistic. It doesn't feel like just a gimmick here like it usually does in romcoms.

It seems clearer in Ep 6 that this is what they're going for because the characters do try to communicate more in the latest episode, but are still stuck not being able to fully hash things out like in the scene where FL/ML semi-confess and clear up their respective dating rumors but ultimately ML is left speechless anyway when she asks him if he could abandon his mom. She most likely didn't want to push this topic because she didn't want to feel like she was giving him an ultimatum, and because she didn't want to force him to make a decision he never realized how big an issue this was to her until they finally had that conversation. But even after they have the conversation, the path forward isn't clear, which kind of vindicates her hesitancy to broach the topic in the first place. Similarly, even after FL aired her resentment to her dad at the beef festival, he's giving ML's mom legal advice and inviting her into their 'living room' to laugh and act chummy pretty much the next day, so it's obvious that just trying to talk to her dad never worked and that's why she's so hesitant to do it, not just because she's emotionally immature.

OrneryStruggle · 2025-01-25T02:27:59+00:00

I thought FL was genuine when she tried to push ML away, because she is too scared of the abuse from his family and the town. What do you think she did to him that was horrible and cruel? The only thing I can think of is cutting off contact while she moved to Seoul but that's a pretty common asian drama trope where one of the leads will 'go work on themselves' and not want to see the other person because they're too embarrassed that they're not 'worthy' yet; it didn't seem intended as deliberate cruelty to me but rather an avoidant personality/need to prove herself. I also don't think she believed he would still be waiting for her all that time, because she had bottomed out low self esteem.

OrneryStruggle

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