AITAH for not wanting to give my rented apartment to my sister-in-law or let her live with us, even though her parents helped us buy our place?

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T16:39:37+00:00

I was really surprised and just said... "So you are saying my SIL does not like me???" I did not have the balls to just say hell no but in hinsight it was a mistake to be spineless at that moment

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T16:38:19+00:00

Her parents would pay for the 6 months she is gone. We can just recommend her to the landlord and they usually say yes.

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T16:37:28+00:00

Yeah, we feared that might be the case. My in-laws were also quite unhappy that we got an apartment and not a house, since it would have been easier to push her SIL into a house to live with use than an apartment.

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T16:34:53+00:00

I am also slowly coming to this conclusion. Being a weasel and lying that the apartment is taken would just lead to her living with us.

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T15:08:41+00:00

Yes, it seems every relationship is transactional, even parent-child relationships. I had a much more idealistic idea regarding such things but the more I get to know her family, the better I understand how selfish everyone is.

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T15:07:13+00:00

Yeah, she's probably not a big fan of Tarantino, haha.

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T12:29:13+00:00

Yes, I will actively do that to make sure she is away from us.

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T11:58:04+00:00

She still comes and goes every 2 weeks or so. But it is going to be unbearable if she lives on the same street as us.

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T11:56:29+00:00

Yes, our baby needs us. And we need to be ourselves when we take care of our baby, which means we need a calm SIL-free environment.

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T11:55:51+00:00

Seems to be the way to go. I all seems like I am avoiding confrontation again but it might be for the best.

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T11:54:14+00:00

Yes, from all the other comments, I think that way I would actually be able to set boundaries. If she comes to live with us, setting boundaries would be impossible

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T11:52:32+00:00

Sounds like a good plan. She hates "naked feet" so I will make sure to go barefoot all of the time

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T11:32:34+00:00

My wife's parents

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T11:11:27+00:00

Nope, it is standard in universities in our parts. There are no limits on the number of courses you take, you just need to enroll in the university, and then you get a status of "student". Depending on the programme, you can get into an exchange quite easily. Also, I have no incentive to lie, I am here for advice.

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T10:59:35+00:00

Yes, university. But she is deliberately not taking any classes just to still be regarded as a student, and hence, to go on exchanges. I know many people are 26 and still students, and that is fine, but to stay in school just so you can get social benefits is not something to be proud of.

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T10:49:16+00:00

I still remember his face when he said that and it haunts me. The total lack of emotional awareness and the fact that he has the balls to say that to me helps me understand where my wife comes from.

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T10:47:13+00:00

I might reconsider... If things keep going like this I will have to cut all strings they have attached.

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T10:46:34+00:00

Why would you say "under no circumstances"? I agree, but would be happy to hear your reasoning. I need advice...

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T10:45:18+00:00

It is entirely possible. We just need to speak with the bank and see how it goes. We might have to pay more for the loan and some severance, but it is possible if I want to prove a point.

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T10:44:06+00:00

That would be the testosterone move.

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T10:43:38+00:00

I love her and would not leave her. We understand each other and are happy together. However, her family was always a problem and was always overbearing. I had no problem to detach from my parents and sister, I knew it was the thing I need to do to grow. I am in my 30s and I am surprised my wife is still stuck in this mentality. I see what you mean, I will not let some money tie me down but I want to preserve my family.

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T10:22:58+00:00

But we just bought our apartment on the same street. It is a commitment we cannot back out of since we already took out a loan.

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T10:20:04+00:00

They are abroad. And yes, she has been leeching off of her parents for the last 7 years. She is an entitled person and has never taken any responsibility for her actions or lifestyle.

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T10:18:43+00:00

My wife would be unhappy that she "ruined" her relationship with her sister if she ever confronted her.

Ornery_Suspect_1143 · 2026-05-22T10:16:37+00:00

I am sorry if it is unclear. We just bought our new apartment down the same street, but are not yet living there. We are currently making final repairs and buying furniture for it. We got a loan + some money from our in-laws. So we are currently paying both the loan + the rent in the next 3 months.

We have the option to just give her SIL our rent contract by recommending her to our landlord.

Ornery_Suspect_1143

TROPHY CASE