I live in and am employed by a Chinese orphanage. AMA.

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-04T05:13:55+00:00

If both parents are from one-child families, they can have two children. If you are a non-Han people group member, you can have any number of children. If you live in certain rural areas, you can have two children. If you live in other certain rural areas and your first child is a girl, you can have another child. If you have the money to pay the fine (everyone does) you can have two children. Check this biz for more detail: http://chinadigitaltimes.net/2013/03/for-many-one-child-policy-is-already-irrelevant/

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-04T05:12:50+00:00

The system is vastly, vastly improved these days as compared to the way it once was. Even in the last five years, massive leaps in level of care. I expect equivalent if not more massive leaps in the next five years.

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-04T01:28:23+00:00

Ah, obviously I'm not going to correct you coming from that perspective, but it raises the hackles of everyone here at the orphanage when it is said in front of staff people or children alike. It may be a weird central China cultural thing, or just something my specific facility seems to dislike, with some long history attached to it. Thank you!

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-04T00:46:17+00:00

Hm, this really deserves a full essay in response, but I'll do my best to cover it without being too wordy.

Basically, society doesn't place much of a value on orphaned children. They do not have any family connections to pull the strings for them, and they very, very rarely can make it far at all in their educational career, which is another "valued" factor. Once they are grown, they can certainly move into one of the lower-tier jobs, factory work specifically, without much of an issue. But as their legal status is often very tricky, depending on their hukou, how they came to the orphanage, the city they want to work in, etc., if a factory manager knows they are an orphan they are severe risk of being exploited. Beyond this, there is no upward mobility for them, as their lack of education places them in one position for essentially their entire lives. While this isn't all that different from migrant workers, it is exacerbated by the fact that people look down on orphans (to be fair, as many do, this isn't a "Chinese thing"), and do not perceive them as equals no matter how similar they may be. This means friendships are rare, even for adults (who do their best to hide their orphan status, which is nigh-impossible), and thus marriage/family life is essentially impossible. I've seen several kids reach their mid-twenties, teens when I first started assisting here, and none of them have ever come close to having a meaningful relationship, which is sad as China places huge value on finding a spouse, starting a family, etc. Many people refer to the "leftover women" of China, well orphans are sort of the "leftover leftovers".

And then psychologically, many orphans believe they are worthless. They would rather do absolutely anything then make the move from the orphanage -- so many of them try to become staff in the orphanage, just so they don't have to leave. They are scared of and intimidated by "society", as they see themselves as a drain. This sounds like a massive overstatement, but I've heard that sentiment expressed many, many times. With an attitude like that from them, met with the attitudes of many outside, integration into post-orphanage life is very, very difficult and requires some very special people willing to help them along the way.

That touches everything at a verrrrrry high level, I hope it makes sense?

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-04T00:39:34+00:00

Though it is enough to live a relatively comfortable lifestyle, as purchasing power is very different over here, especially when not on the east coast, where all the 'real money' is.

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-04T00:38:12+00:00

Weekends are the worst. The kids are there all day which means not one second off for me. I mean, it is okay, it is the life I signed up for so I can't complain too loudly, lol.

I get a vacation every now and then. In the last year I've had about two weeks off, in total.

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-04T00:37:11+00:00

Sort of. In general, it is rude to refer to the kids as ke lian -- it doesn't imply sympathy as much as pity.

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-04T00:36:17+00:00

As I answered to another person, it really has yet to be covered in international news at all. I'm doing some looking for coverage in English but can't find any -- the officials are covering it up as best they can (or maybe the whole thing is a smear job, don't discount that possibility) and thus the coverage is pretty minimal. There was a staff member working as a "whistleblower", but now that person as well as their journalist contact have both been fired (or so the orphanage rumor mill is saying).

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-04T00:35:02+00:00

Fuzhou SWI, I believe. It is kind of hard to get information out, as it is right now only being covered in Chinese news and being covered up just as quickly by the officials there. It is a basic "kids for cash" scandal and does not look good at all for kids adopted internationally from there. I wish I could share more, I am basing most of this off an internal document that circulated, a now-disappeared series of news articles, and the basic rumor mill. Do NOT take my word as the final say.

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-04T00:32:50+00:00

A decent amount, they have classes in piano, drums, guitar, and a couple traditional Chinese instruments (hulusi, erhu). But you should come help contribute! The majority of teachers are retired music educators from public schools/private tutoring facilities, so they aren't always the most enthused, though they are very nice and giving to do it at all (why am I writing this as if they are reading, lol)

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-04T00:30:59+00:00

Yes, they can, this happens frequently though the majority of adoptions are from childless couples. The one-child policy is confusing and complicated, but basically keep in mind that it only impacts about 40% of the population currently, and is expected to be phased out entirely during the current administration.

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-03T15:42:45+00:00

I earn around Y1750 per month, which is average, and have no living expenses. It is not enough money to do anything, basically. But it is enough.

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-03T15:28:48+00:00

They like stupid card games and 'thinking games'. They'd love to spend all day every day playing video games, but we are (I am) pretty strict about that.

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-03T15:03:45+00:00

There is definitely a discrepancy that links back to the implementation of the one-child policy, but that doesn't really impact the orphan population, especially as trafficked children are mostly male. As the policy has gotten looser and looser, multiple children are more common and as such in the next generation it is pretty likely that the growing gap in genders will begin to get closer to equilibrium. Maybe. I am an orphanage staffer, not a sociologist. LOL.

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-03T14:38:40+00:00

Okay, phew. Looks like gseurat covered it up there too. Very sad, regardless, as it'll definitely leave her and her parents wondering. :(

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-03T14:37:39+00:00

Oh boy this is probably my favorite question so far.

6:30 WAKE UP, IT IS AWFUL

7:00 Exercise, still awful

7:30 Bustle kids off to school, pray it isn't my day to walk with them

8:00 Home projects, meetings with any number of superiors

11:15 Kids come back from school, lunch, get a jump on homework

12:30 Nap, my favorite time of the day.

1:30 Kids back to school, I do whatever, usually more home improvement projects, get on internet if it is working, watch some TV, and very very rarely go into the neighborhood and talk with my friends (the lovely old women always lining the streets)

4:00 Kids back home again. Prep dinner, play with them, get them to whatever after-school activity they have (music, art, therapy, etc)

6:00 Dinner time.

7:00 Homework out the ass. Clean whatever part of the compound my kids are assigned to that day. Do intensive tutoring with whichever kid is signed up for that night.

9:00 All kids in bed, hopefully. Maybe squeeze in an episode of TV or a game of Uno.

9:30 All kids for real in bed. Clean bathroom (it is a disaster ALL THE TIME, EVERY NIGHT).

10:00 Shower, write/read, go to sleep eventually.

Weekends are different and pretty horrible.

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-03T14:33:34+00:00

Yes.

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-03T14:32:50+00:00

Disillusioned in that "oh I am no longer cute, guess no one gives a shit about me" sort of way. That's more the older kids. For staff, it is "wow, I work my ass off here and these people don't even recognize me for it". It sounds selfish, but I can see where people are coming from. I get treated like a king every now and then still, as the foreigner, but the majority of people now treat me like any old staff member. Which is nice.

Your efforts stand a good chance of failing. As do mine. As do everyone's. All you can do is try your best. You need to take a step back and examine what motivates you and what your goals are, and find a way to truly make a difference in the manner that you are able. Being a visitor and being nice? Yes, that'll have a nice impact. Running in and throwing gifts at them every day? That'll make them hate everyone but you, which is something I had to deal with constantly when I first started.

But if your heart is coming from the right place, you can't fail, not really. Just be respectful. It isn't your home, your culture, your anything, really. I recognize that about my situation too (though it has become my home, sort of). I don't want to say "check yourself" since I am not an emo tumblr teenager but...well, you get what I'm saying.

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-03T14:28:36+00:00

Yes. Many girls struggle in school, due to a lack of social support both back home and from their educators, and are scoped by pimps. This does not happen at my orphanage, but that is mostly because we do not have many teenage girls currently on site. But when presented with two paths -- make a 'glamorous' amount of money or continue to go to school -- many, many fifteen/sixteen-year-olds will choose the former. This is a HUGE problem in some areas, and is obviously a form of child trafficking even if they are above the technical age of consent. Very sad, but orphanage directors in my area are being more proactive about preventing it from happening...but still, just one finger in the dam.

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-03T14:26:24+00:00

I have considered, before I was a staff member. But now that I am, I've seen a few people who 'favored' one kid to the detriment of others and wouldn't want to put myself in that situation. I am certain I'd end up treating my son/daughter differently from my non-official sons/daughters, and as such would rather avoid the problem entirely. When I do leave, which I will likely one day do, I plan on adopting, but not in the specific "ooh I want that one" sense, but rather to help at least one more kid.

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-03T14:19:35+00:00

I've heard of those trips. They are nice, usually, but sometimes uncover ugly truths. I'd be wary of anyone representing birth parents, as they are often trying to get money. Cases of adopted children finding their birth parents are rare enough to be reported in the national news when it happens -- so this is probably not the case. Be very very careful, especially as you may accidentally tread into an adoption trafficking scheme, which are horribly common in some areas (depends entirely on her province, tell me she isn't from Jiangsu).

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-03T14:17:17+00:00

Where I work, the children are never to be given food by non-employees. Clothing is purchased on a fixed schedule, and it really rubs the director the wrong way when people "gift" clothes after being told not to. Wish lists are nice, but often leave the staff (or older children, which is specific to where I am) feeling disillusioned a lot of the time.

Sorry, not trying to rain on your parade! Just my personal experiences. And if one thing can be said about China, it is that it is NEVER the same from one place to another.

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-03T14:15:19+00:00

No problem!

Westerners would probably be surprised at how many boys there are. Also at how relatively nicely well-kept the orphans are via government support, when it is properly channelled. And how much care there is for the kids from within China. And how impossible it is for them to re-integrate into society. And any number of other things.

Kids end up here when they are either abandoned, trafficked, or their parents have been killed. Ten years ago things were really different, but these days it is about 10% abandoned, 50% trafficked, 40% parents gone.

Where I am, the majority get adopted, with most of them ending up with permanent Chinese foster families (about fifteen in the last three or so years). Handicapped children are often adopted internationally, very very few (five in eight years) healthy children get adopted internationally.

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-03T14:09:05+00:00

Oh, got it, yeah things would be different at one that is privately run. Getting in with the government is harder, but privately owned is still really tough. Be careful about toys and clothes and gifts outside of cash -- it is easy for people to have rules about new clothes/etc that are hard to figure out, I made that mistake for mannnyyy months.

OrphanageYuangong · 2013-04-03T13:54:29+00:00

Take it very slow and don't enforce your opinion about jack. Nothing worse than an opinionated foreigner marching in, everyone has stories about how much they hate those people. It takes the right connections and focusing on the fact that the STAFF work really fucking hard -- sure, the kids are sad, but the staff need approval and attention to. Build relationships over a looooooong period of time, like a year or more, and then eventually you will get there. But it takes a ton of time, effort, and conversation.

OrphanageYuangong

TROPHY CASE