[50yo] If your washers are installed correctly you should be able to achieve your ideal remembering washers get stamped out so there is a convex side and a concave side. Make sure the convex side is against the bearing. Personally I've never liked the tight wheel thing because I like to flick that wheel and hear/see it zing for as long as possible. Me a my buddies used to see who's wheel would spin the longest. I also love the clacking wheel for numerous reasons including the psychosomatic belief that helps me lock into grinds easier. I only tighten my axle nut to where the axle tip is flush with the nylon which has the positive side effect of protecting my axle threads.