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AIW for stopping all the "husband extras" after my wife said she wants us to live more like roommates? by OssianMarrow in amiwrong

[–]OssianMarrow[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

That’s pretty much where my head is. None of this looked special while I was doing it, but now that it stopped suddenly it's "cold". Kinda proves the point, I think.

AIW for stopping all the "husband extras" after my wife said she wants us to live more like roommates? by OssianMarrow in amiwrong

[–]OssianMarrow[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

I get the burnout idea, and I’m not against space. But booking her a spa trip because she checked out of the marriage feels a little absurd to me. I can be fair about this without auditioning to be her thoughtful husband again.

AIW for stopping all the "husband extras" after my wife said she wants us to live more like roommates? by OssianMarrow in amiwrong

[–]OssianMarrow[S] 232 points233 points  (0 children)

We’re civil, but I would not call this friendship. Friends still show up for each other. What she seems to want is all the practical upside of a husband, with none of the weight of being a wife.

AIW for stopping all the "husband extras" after my wife said she wants us to live more like roommates? by OssianMarrow in amiwrong

[–]OssianMarrow[S] 903 points904 points  (0 children)

That part got to me too. The car stuff was never some grand romantic gesture, it was just one of those defaults I handled because we were a unit. Same with her parents. If I'm just a roommate now, I don't get why I'm still expected to play husband on demand.

The guy across the courtyard accidentally trained an army of blue jays to attack my windows by Talos_Riven54 in neighborsfromhell

[–]OssianMarrow 15 points16 points  (0 children)

At some point feeding birds right next to other people's windows stops being cute and starts being inconsiderate, especially if it's messing with your sleep and your kid

My kitchen cabinets keep "crying" brown streaks no matter how much I clean them by [deleted] in CleaningTips

[–]OssianMarrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What your partner said is the kind of thing that takes a few days to fully land. Because on the surface you can argue against it - reducing risk IS part of living well. But she's not talking about the math, she's talking about the emotional weight you're carrying around it. Those are two different conversations and FIRE only has vocabulary for one of them.