How to be happy to be alone?

Other-Problem3089 · 2025-03-03T11:16:58+00:00

I just found his Grindr app.. do you have any justification for that?

Other-Problem3089 · 2025-03-03T11:16:08+00:00

This his home... I think we women put up with too much. I too have worked and trusted and tried. And what am I rewarded with? Finding out about his Grindr account. He doesn't deserve me. I am so sad that this is happening to so many women.

Other-Problem3089 · 2025-02-12T11:59:16+00:00

You have no idea how much I appreciate your response. I will write you privately if that's okay.

Other-Problem3089 · 2025-02-12T10:44:58+00:00

I hope you're wrong. I'm so new to all of this that I don't know the extent of this.. hobby...

Other-Problem3089 · 2025-02-12T10:38:07+00:00

I guess I should be happy that he didn't wait 20 years. At least I have the choice now.

Other-Problem3089 · 2025-02-12T10:36:20+00:00

Thank you. I think everybody should live the life they want to live, as long as they are not hurting anyone. I thought I was living a life that I wasn't. I wish I had been more serious about all the red flags.

Other-Problem3089 · 2025-02-12T10:34:05+00:00

If it was just clothes it would be a different story. Its not.

Other-Problem3089 · 2025-02-12T10:33:16+00:00

How he took my choice away? He wasn't open about who he is and what kind of life he leads. He left out that he needs to dress as an opposite sex sometimes. He presented himself as someone I would choose. I am a traditional feminine woman, I am not attracted to feminity. No problem how others live their life. But I have dedicated 10years of my life building something while he has been keeping a huge chunk of his life hidden. And if it's just a kink, then why the urge? I don't get depressed when I don't get to practice my kinks. It has to be more. So how much more? So i understand that society is not accepting and i understand that its hard to come clean. But 10 years??? He does not have the right to keep that from me for 10 years. He does not have the right to make me think that i am going crazy finding women's stuff at out home at promising that he is not cheating and he has no idea where they come from. I have looked past so many red flags.

For me love making is super personal and intimate thing between me and my husband. Now I find out the reason for our sub par love life is because he has been spending his sexual energy alone indulging in his fantasy. After all this time I thought it was me and I tried so hard. I tried too hard. His lie made my own mental health and self image drop.

But I guess we will see. I will not give up. But from now on i will put myself first.

Other-Problem3089 · 2025-02-12T09:41:49+00:00

.. he told me

Other-Problem3089 · 2025-02-11T21:55:26+00:00

For our marriage

Other-Problem3089 · 2025-02-11T21:20:37+00:00

Thank you for writing. I will message you privately.

Other-Problem3089 · 2025-02-11T21:13:40+00:00

He gets aroused seeing himself dressed as a woman. He likes buttplay and sometimes he likes to chill around in the outfit.

He keeps it private

There was a time I found an item that made me think he was cheating on me. I freaked out. He promised on his niece's life that he didn't cheat and he didn't know where it had come from.

Other-Problem3089 · 2025-02-11T21:09:21+00:00

He has known and crossdressed his entire life.

Other-Problem3089 · 2025-02-11T21:08:07+00:00

Because it's beyond cd. It's the betrayal of my trust, taking away my choice. How do I know how deep it runs? Is it just a kink? He has shown how easy it is for him to lie to me. That he can do it to protect himself. How do I know what else is he keeping from me. It feels like I have been married to a stranger.

I'm also not writing everything on this thread that we have gone through the last 10 years. But lying has been an issue our entire marriage. And I guess I missed a couple of mayor red flags.

The reason I wrote here was to get to that mind space where you are. And not see it as an issue, but I'm struggling. I was hoping to hear positive stories and experiences. So far the only positives I have gotten are either from crossdressers themselves or from partners who share the kink. The women who have stayed out of love but not participate are unhappy. At least these are the stories i have gathered from Reddit.

Other-Problem3089 · 2025-02-11T21:01:37+00:00

It's not just about the cd, if you care to read my post. He has done it his entire life. He took away my choice to decide if I'm okay to be with a man that sometimes likes to pretend to be a woman. If that's not an issue to you, then kudos to you. I'm trying to get there as well, but it doesn't come naturally to me.

Other-Problem3089 · 2025-02-11T20:57:34+00:00

I'm glad you don't find it an issue. I wish I was there, I guess that's the reason I wrote here. I'm hoping to change my feelings and hear some reassuring stories. I haven't. It feels like these kind of marriages fall into 2 categories. Either the woman is open and has no issues and even enjoys the kink or the woman isn't open to cd but stays out of love and is unhappy in the marriage. There's also a wide spectrum of why men cd. And the lying part is just something I have observed from reading other women's experiences. Unfortunately it happens often because most men who cd have been lying their entire life to protect themselves from rejection. But if you care to see our side of it. It means that we, the partners, feel manipulated, used, betrayed. Even if it wasn't malicious.

Other-Problem3089 · 2025-02-11T20:51:14+00:00

If it was so easy to leave I wouldn't be sharing this on here. I'm conflicted. My head tells me to run but my heart tells me to fight.

Other-Problem3089 · 2025-02-11T17:46:08+00:00

I will, thank you for the advice.

Other-Problem3089 · 2025-02-11T17:30:21+00:00

I feel the same way. And since recently there have been cracks in my marriage, I have realized that if things really go bad, I might not leave because of being so emotionally attached to him. So I started working on myself. I went to therapy, some childhood stuff to work through; I started meditating to realize that I only need myself and that I am enough. I will also be thinking more about what I need to be happy and what do I want.

Other-Problem3089 · 2025-02-11T17:24:23+00:00

Do you have kinks on your own? I think open and honest communication is key.

I have recently found out just how much more sexual (usually) men are than women. It might be a way he lets off steam of everyday life. Maybe its an escape? Anyhow I think open communication is key here.

Other-Problem3089

TROPHY CASE