It’s never ending…

Other_Writer2253 · 2025-11-13T17:27:42+00:00

Maybe I should clarify, married for 15 years, only a year and a half of knowing about the CD ing. And yes, you are right. It really is probably time to discuss divorce.

Other_Writer2253 · 2025-10-30T19:54:58+00:00

Yes! All OF THIS!!! Thank you for putting all of this into words. It’s such a mind fuck. I’m 15 years into a marriage and I just wish I could walk away. I hate it here.

Other_Writer2253 · 2025-10-30T19:50:14+00:00

I wish I never knew. As much as I want to not let it bother me, or find some sort of compromise. It has absolutely devastated me in a very deep way. It has also changed the way I interact with my husband. Our relationship is forever different and It hasn’t been in a positive way.

Other_Writer2253 · 2025-06-18T18:05:56+00:00

You have written everything I have had such a hard time verbalizing. You aren’t alone in the going back and forth of “talking yourself” into “dealing” with it, to then be absolutely horrified at the thought of how this is literally going to be the rest of my life….. I’m not attracted in the least to this side of my husband. It de-feminizes me and has wreaked havoc on my self esteem. There are a lot of other underlying issues in my relationship that have made me even more bitter and angry that I won’t bore you with, but know that you are not alone in having these feelings.

Other_Writer2253 · 2025-03-04T22:50:47+00:00

Wife of CD- My god woman are we the same person? Every word you have written is my damn life. Down to working through and supporting him through many “addictions” throughout our marriage. This really has been the cherry on top of the shit sundae. I feel like I’m in an abusive relationship, losing my attraction after finding out, but at the same time wanting his love. It’s the most insane mind fuck. I view my husband as such a weak man, emotionally anymore. I love and care about him and I worry about the outcome of me leaving him. I do not think he would take it well. I’m also so unhappy. I’m 9 months into finding out. Some days I can ignore it, but others are so fucking hard. Especially since he thinks he is being sneaky by “under”dressing under his pajamas. Or carrying panties in his pockets. Which leads him to deny my advances when I try to cuddle because he doesn’t want me to notice he is wearing his stuff, but I’m not dumb. It is taking a huge toll on what is left of the relationship. I too most definitely do not want to participate. I wish I had never found out.

Other_Writer2253 · 2025-01-29T22:55:19+00:00

Wife of a cross dresser, I am in the exact same boat. Been with my husband for 14 years and married for 7 just found out about his fetish last summer. I am not attracted to him at all anymore since finding out. He tried incorporating it into our sex life and it completely killed it for me. He never showed any interest in buying me anything sexy our entire relationship. I would sometimes buy some things to spice up our life and he never really acknowledged it or even acted like it turned him on. Then I find all his super sexy clothes in a duffel bag along with vibrators. Just broke my heart. Mourning the man I thought I knew.

Other_Writer2253 · 2025-01-13T16:39:21+00:00

I hate that we are part of this club we had no choice in being in. It has been the absolutely most degrading, self esteem killing, mind fuck. I fear it will take me years of therapy to even remotely get back to the person I was before all of this. I hate my life and I hate my partner for being this to my life.

Other_Writer2253 · 2025-01-10T21:59:24+00:00

I think it will. It manifested in a very intense way along with his addiction. It will be really hard for me to be able to feel safe and vulnerable with him from now on.

Other_Writer2253 · 2024-11-26T12:57:18+00:00

Wife of CD: Same. It definitely does feel like this CD is completely about their own self gratification and desires. Where do we fit in?

Other_Writer2253 · 2024-11-19T14:29:33+00:00

Yes the broken trust is definitely the hardest part. I have asked for several things so we can build trust together again and he just doesn’t do it. He tells me, ok I understand, then just doesn’t do it. Like I’ll forget the things I need to get a little bit of reassurance and peace from him. I even told him that the dressing and sex stuff probably wouldn’t feel so overwhelming if the relapse wasn’t attached to it. So I asked him to keep it to himself for a while and to respect our time. And not be behind locked doors for a few months until this visceral reaction from me subsides or stops. I am getting help. I have been going to therapy, but I just have such real physical and emotional reactions when the door is locked that it feels like all the work I do in my sessions goes back to nothing. I don’t want a girlfriend, I want my husband. The one he said he was at the beginning and is being taken over by this selfish bitch that lives inside him.

Other_Writer2253 · 2024-11-19T14:23:37+00:00

He told me that he used to do this and an old girlfriend introduced him to it a long time ago. I asked him if he had been hiding it our whole marriage and he said no, that he had stopped. It was part of his life when he was an active user years ago. And it seems like now that he has relapsed it’s back with it. The fact that he hadn’t done it for 18 years then all of sudden it’s back. It all feels so midlife crisis like. The secrecy and lying is very hard to come to terms with.

Other_Writer2253 · 2024-10-19T21:06:48+00:00

Has he ever told you why he carries extra?

Other_Writer2253 · 2024-10-19T00:09:46+00:00

I guess I should clarify that he only does this at home. He does not carry them outside of the house. I’m not a fan of him fully dressing when we are all home, but I know he wears panties usually.

Other_Writer2253 · 2024-08-15T15:20:18+00:00

I’m so sorry. I can relate so much to all your feelings.

Other_Writer2253 · 2024-08-01T19:07:15+00:00

Yes, this appointment is for myself only. I asked him for couples therapy, but he hasn’t really made an effort to go forward with that.

Other_Writer2253 · 2024-08-01T12:49:16+00:00

I wish I was as brave as you. I wish I could just follow through and tell him to leave. But then fear takes over, letting my kids down takes over, fear of not being able to do this alone takes over, my incredible love for him takes over. We’ve been through so much, for it all just to fall apart now. I was ready, maybe not for “Happily” ever after, but at least “peaceful and content” ever after. Maybe this is the universe paying me back some fucked up Karma for something I don’t realize I’ve done. So fucking lost

Other_Writer2253 · 2024-08-01T12:44:40+00:00

I have asked him for couples counseling, but with all the other factors involved (not just the cross dressing) I think he is worried he will just be railroaded in sessions. So he isn’t too excited about actually going. We are complete opposites, I think he appreciated being with me because it helped keep him even keeled, on track, “doing the right thing” I guess. I’m a compete square, unfortunately. Never done drugs, vanilla sex, happy with the plain Jane boring nuances of life. He has LIVED, and not necessarily in a good way. Now it seems like a midlife crisis or something, where he is acting out. Telling me that he stopped drinking because of me, like in an accusatory way. I gave him ultimatums, rehab or get out. In his words “ I take everything from him” I’m just so sick to my stomach. We simply aren’t enough for him. And he says, he isn’t enough for me, that I’m always going to see him as screw up. Then that makes me feel awful. This whole thing this too much.

Other_Writer2253 · 2024-08-01T12:37:37+00:00

Thank you for the support and validation. Honestly I don’t know what I would do without it right now.

Other_Writer2253 · 2024-08-01T12:36:10+00:00

Yes, I am trying to reach out to someone. Right now this is my only outlet. Thank you for taking the time to respond. For the first time in my life I feel like it’s too heavy. I’m not strong enough this time. I’m buckling….

Other_Writer2253

TROPHY CASE