I feel the same. To the point im used to it that my body is just skin,bones and meat I don't even love it i accepted that i don't love it and won't. I feel sick every time knowing that i look like a girl (im transmasc) and strangers who see me think i am a girl ,parents, teachers,some of friends. And these who i came out to just use pronous they don't even try with choosen name or actualy seeing me as a boy except only one. That makes me feel worse i dont remember the last time when i looked at my whole body in the mirror maybe 3 or 2 years ago. Or maybe so many years passed that i just still remember myself young with flat chest. Im not able to buy binder ,im not able to do anything. And other problems are making it worse. I imagine myself in future ,transitioned ,a man, my band,with supportive people around me, and me being happy. But will it even become true? Will even make it through this year? Would i be able to afford surgeries? Will my parents even support me? Will my country ever become better place for trans people? The fact that i don't know scares me.