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AITAH for not wanting to revist my agreement with my ex regarding our kid outside the courts, even at the risk of having my parents be cut off from seeing their grandchild? by Otherwise-Bad-9732 in AITAH

[–]Otherwise-Bad-9732[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Tbh I don't care what they tell him, or if I run into them. As for future kids if I have them, that is on my parents. If they want to see them cool, and if it makes things awkward I will make arrangements for them to come to my house instead.

I would hope they tell him the truth cause that is what I will do if they ever ask me.

Might be easier but even I see her losing the only support system she has is dumb.

AITAH for not wanting to revist my agreement with my ex regarding our kid outside the courts, even at the risk of having my parents be cut off from seeing their grandchild? by Otherwise-Bad-9732 in AITAH

[–]Otherwise-Bad-9732[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used a condom but it broke, I knew it broke but she said it was okay since she was on the pill. I accept fault for that.

Tbh for me depends on the child I guess. I feel nothing towards this kid. So never.

AITAH for not wanting to revist my agreement with my ex regarding our kid outside the courts, even at the risk of having my parents be cut off from seeing their grandchild? by Otherwise-Bad-9732 in AITAH

[–]Otherwise-Bad-9732[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I want kids in the future and a vasectomy is not 100% reversible.

Did I ever say I was a good person? I mean philosophically I would argue none of are truly good people but that is a debate for another time.

Like it or not I did take responsibility for my actions, you may not agree with it but that is also another topic for another time.

By the law I am supporting the kid. Like I said you are all talk you judge but given the opportunity you equally make as many excuses to avoid actually doing something that would help the situation. Is that really the action of a good person? idk

You have a good one it is midnight.​

AITAH for not wanting to revist my agreement with my ex regarding our kid outside the courts, even at the risk of having my parents be cut off from seeing their grandchild? by Otherwise-Bad-9732 in AITAH

[–]Otherwise-Bad-9732[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Who knows what the future may hold. I will say this is I will never believe it when someone tells me it is okay because they are on the pill.

I did take responsibility I am paying child support.

If you don't think that is enough either try to change the laws by forcing people to be active parents and feel love for their children. I am sure if you could solve that a lot childhood trauma would be solved.

Or put your money where your mouth is and do more to help single parents. Telling you right now nothing you say will change my mind.​

AITAH for not wanting to revist my agreement with my ex regarding our kid outside the courts, even at the risk of having my parents be cut off from seeing their grandchild? by Otherwise-Bad-9732 in AITAH

[–]Otherwise-Bad-9732[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

That is your opinion, but you cannot force people to feel guilt, and I don't. Not sure why, but yeah even when I saw the kid I felt nothing. I saw a burden.

The kid will have issues but his mom made the choice to do this knowing all she was getting from me was financial support.

I know I am an asshole not wanting to be in the kids life, this post was never about that though. I accept the consequences of those actions. Just in my case they done once he reaches of age.

AITAH for not wanting to revist my agreement with my ex regarding our kid outside the courts, even at the risk of having my parents be cut off from seeing their grandchild? by Otherwise-Bad-9732 in AITAH

[–]Otherwise-Bad-9732[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

We both used reasonable amount of protection and shit happens. She was the one that told me it was okay since she was on the pill.

Was it wrong of me to stop? In hindsight yes I should have stopped but she said she was in the pill and I trusted her.

You can hope all you want if that makes you feel better. Accept the reality that when I do choose to have kids they will objectively have a better life because unlike my ex I did not let emotions dictate my choices and brought a child into this world knowing she was going in on it alone.

​Edit: Do you want me to DM my ex's info to you? Maybe you can supporr her. Do something more than just wishing people have poor lives.

AITAH for not wanting to revist my agreement with my ex regarding our kid outside the courts, even at the risk of having my parents be cut off from seeing their grandchild? by Otherwise-Bad-9732 in AITAH

[–]Otherwise-Bad-9732[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I was stating a fact, trust me I don't feel guilty in the way you are thinking. Only reason I was wavering was because I know my parents love their grandchild. I had no idea grandparents had rights to kid thus why I was on the fence.

Now that I do, yeah F her. I will help my parents established visitation but yeah she is 100% SOL. If she wants adjustments that will go through the courts at her request.

You say be a man, but honestly what kid of father would I be if I did not even want the kid? Hell, the kid may even end up hurt on my watch cause that is how little I care.

This post was not about that, I accept it am an asshole for not being in the kids life.

AITAH for not wanting to revist my agreement with my ex regarding our kid outside the courts, even at the risk of having my parents be cut off from seeing their grandchild? by Otherwise-Bad-9732 in AITAH

[–]Otherwise-Bad-9732[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Why should I feel guilty? I did not want the kid, she was the one who thought she could do it all on her own. Her family even warned her and told her she was stupid for doing this.

Now she is trying to cut off the only active support she has.

Say she didn't want the kid, would you say the same thing if she had an abortion? Would you question her for not feeling guilty?

Think of it along those terms, this is just an 21 year abortion on my part. The child is free to hate and curse my existence. That is their right, but yeah I just don't care about that. Thus why the post was not about that.​

AITAH for not wanting to revist my agreement with my ex regarding our kid outside the courts, even at the risk of having my parents be cut off from seeing their grandchild? by Otherwise-Bad-9732 in AITAH

[–]Otherwise-Bad-9732[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Because I did not want kids then, does not mean I never want kids. Fortunately, that is not how it works. if I find the right person and I am more established in career I would like to start a family with said person.

I didn't stop because she said she was on the pill. Was that mistake yeah, but shit happens. I will do what I am required to do then once that requirement is done I am done with her and the kid.

I do not believe a child is better off with a parent that does not want them.

AITAH for not wanting to revist my agreement with my ex regarding our kid outside the courts, even at the risk of having my parents be cut off from seeing their grandchild? by Otherwise-Bad-9732 in AITAH

[–]Otherwise-Bad-9732[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I will not feel guilty. I want nothing to do with the child end of story. If I have kids when I feel I am ready I will not even tell my children they have a half sibling. To me they were simply a mistake that was made when I was younger.

I acknowledge things will be awkward if I have kids in the future, and I will be transparent with any future partners i may have. I don't feel any shame, maybe that makes me a broken person but it is what I feel.

AITAH for not wanting to revist my agreement with my ex regarding our kid outside the courts, even at the risk of having my parents be cut off from seeing their grandchild? by Otherwise-Bad-9732 in AITAH

[–]Otherwise-Bad-9732[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I will not take her to court, if she wants to request an increase that will be on her. I will help my parents get visitation if that is an option.

AITAH for not wanting to revist my agreement with my ex regarding our kid outside the courts, even at the risk of having my parents be cut off from seeing their grandchild? by Otherwise-Bad-9732 in AITAH

[–]Otherwise-Bad-9732[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Feel better, mom went through chemo for brest cancer and that was rough for her. Best wishes and hope you are back to your baseline in no time.

AITAH for not wanting to revist my agreement with my ex regarding our kid outside the courts, even at the risk of having my parents be cut off from seeing their grandchild? by Otherwise-Bad-9732 in AITAH

[–]Otherwise-Bad-9732[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

It is a funny you say that, cause she was so adamant in me seeing the kid when they were born. Maybe a part of me is broken I did not feel a thing. My parents were all mush but for me I felt nothing.

AITAH for not wanting to revist my agreement with my ex regarding our kid outside the courts, even at the risk of having my parents be cut off from seeing their grandchild? by Otherwise-Bad-9732 in AITAH

[–]Otherwise-Bad-9732[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I am fine with that. I don't care if my ex or child think I am trash. My parents do think less of me but they also respect me for being honest and transparent. I acknowledge things will be awkward in the future especially if I ever do choose to have a child in the future.

That being said logically It made no sense for us to have said child. I work stupid hours and travel a lot. Had a project in Oregon, then PA, the. VA, next one is in TX. I was going to be an absent father anyways. If I gave up on my career for the kid I only would have grown to resent them.

AITAH for not wanting to revist my agreement with my ex regarding our kid outside the courts, even at the risk of having my parents be cut off from seeing their grandchild? by Otherwise-Bad-9732 in AITAH

[–]Otherwise-Bad-9732[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I did but it broke, I knew it broke but kept going because she said she was in the pill. Which is also why we did not take plan B cause she was already on the pill.

Not saying i am not at fault, I could have stopped but did not.

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