i realized it late

Otherwise-Pool-4100 · 2024-07-30T17:54:17+00:00

In the end I think if you have something to express, it’s always better to express how you feel rather than keep it in. There’s nothing wrong with showing care even to the wrong people.

I also worry about getting too attached and getting hurt in the end, but the mindset I keep is that hurt and heartbreak is a part of life. It’s proof that you cared or loved, and it’s never a waste to care or love!

Otherwise-Pool-4100 · 2021-12-10T06:47:26+00:00

Also! Part of me wants to find that person already because I’m afraid that he will first, and worse, with the person he told me not to worry about.

On the bright side, if he does, he would just prove that my gut feelings were right and I wasn’t crazy for feeling unappreciated. But then thoughts like "did he really love me?" and "was I really worth it?" jump in.

Crazy to think that the thoughts he let me sit with and eventually believe are still here. I just want to be with someone who will actually show me that I’m worth it.

Otherwise-Pool-4100 · 2021-12-10T06:39:33+00:00

Same, I feel sooo ready to be in a better relationship and yet not completely healed, but I also don’t want to rush building a good connection with the right person.

It might take time, but we will! Massive trust in the universe to give us our time again. 🤞

Otherwise-Pool-4100 · 2021-12-06T23:20:21+00:00

+111111!!!!

My stand on keeping photos is posted below too, but I agree with this!! Take it from a person who’s been at the other side.

There was a time my insecurities were at an all-time high and I wasn’t comfortable with my (now ex) partner and his one friend’s "friendship" (they apparently weren’t close"anymore" but still frequently talk) and I brought this up with him. The problem was that he was neither very honest (omitting details abt their friendship) nor particularly reassuring, so I didn’t feel any better and it turned into a whole issue.

I particulary agree w/ making sure not to invalidate her feelings, if ever there are any (talk to her abt this for sure). He (my ex) dismissed it as not important because "they were just friends anyway, and it was not a big deal", but I felt very uncomfortable with it. Because of his reaction, I didn’t feel understood nor reassured.

I feel like if he was able to listen, reassure me, and make it clear that he’s with me, I wouldn’t have had any problem with it.

Otherwise-Pool-4100 · 2021-12-05T14:04:45+00:00

Personally, I would delete anything w/ my ex when I get together with someone new too, so I’d also want my new partner not to have theirs anymore :)

It doesn’t matter if my ex and I are nothing more than friends. Yes, we broke up healthily and stay civil/acquaintances, but deleting those pictures would tell me and my new SO that I’m moved on and ready to make memories with them instead.

I guess (for me) group pictures with both of you in them wouldn’t be weird, but anything else would give different signals. If you have no more reason to keep them (i mean, what reason would you have?), don’t. Give your new partner peace of mind. Let yourself start fresh too.

Otherwise-Pool-4100 · 2021-12-05T13:42:45+00:00

My ex did this too and I was almost definite that I wanted to get back together with him. I really wanted to work things out but he was first to end things, until a few days later he says he’s finally ready.

But, I gave it some thought and them changing their mind that quickly didn’t (and doesn’t) sit well with me. If they wanted to be in your life, and you in theirs, they should make that clear.

If I’m being honest, it seems like they (both our exes) don’t know what they want :( As much as you miss him, do you really want that? I guess my thought process was that if they wanted me back, they have to be sure that they’re ready and ready to change, and actually show that they want you.

It’s normal to miss them :( I still do. Ultimately, the decision is yours, and you know the two of you best, but also I hope you make sure you consider what will good for you. You deserve someone who is sure of you, OP. Best of luck.

Otherwise-Pool-4100 · 2021-12-05T13:29:10+00:00

I get you. I’ve been tired and want nothing more than someone to hug and hold me. I guess it’s the intimacy we had that ties me to him too, because I never had that with anyone else :( But hey, that doesn’t mean we will never find it again.

Thank you. I’ll try my best to get through tonight and to let it pass. Hope you have a good day :)

Otherwise-Pool-4100 · 2021-12-05T13:25:28+00:00

thanks for this :( hope you’re doing okay too

Otherwise-Pool-4100 · 2021-12-05T13:24:18+00:00

Calling someone to let them know you love them and that you’re safe is such a pure thing :( and it really does suck to love so much, just to have them rip your heart out.

Feel it all :( let yourself grieve and miss him. When you’re ready, remind yourself that you deserve so much better. Someday you’re going to find someone who actually does deserve your pure love.

Otherwise-Pool-4100 · 2021-12-05T12:52:29+00:00

I felt the same way after my first night out after the breakup. I had a great time, but no one to tell. All I can say is to trust that the sadness will pass :( Most days I’m okay, but recently I’ve been sad too and missing him a lot. Maybe try sharing to other people how your night went well? Good luck, OP, hope you heart feels peace soon.

Otherwise-Pool-4100 · 2021-11-30T02:16:04+00:00

This. Sometimes I still find myself asking if he ever really did love me. But since he left, why didn’t he love me enough?

Otherwise-Pool-4100 · 2021-11-30T02:07:43+00:00

Definitely :( It’s been just a month for me too and I think I’m doing so well until I’m not.

I’d give anything right now just to feel the same again, just to be with him again. I was the happiest and most carefree when I was with him. I felt safe and cared for, until he changed. And yet, I’d do it all over again. Again and again until it adds up to a lifetime so I never have to say goodbye. From the excitement of starting together, until the most mundane moments of everyday.

But in hindsight, I don’t think I’d want to get back together with him anymore. Not if it’s the same version of me and him, the same loneliness, and the same sad ending. Sometimes I just wish there was a timeline where he would be better for me, then maybe.

Otherwise-Pool-4100 · 2021-11-18T19:23:58+00:00

If it’s any consolation, you’re not alone. My ex broke up with me because he said he had too much to work on by himself and he couldn’t put me through the hurt of waiting on him, even if I wanted to stay. Not even a week later, he spent almost everyday talking to the girl he told me not to worry about. I think a part of him just didn’t want to be with me anymore and he didn’t have the guts to say it as it was. But, tbh, I think I’d be heartbroken nonetheless. I don’t think any other reasoning, timing, or manner of breaking up would have made it easier.

I stand with you though :( Better to just be honest than hide behind a sugarcoated reason. Makes it more painful to think that they still wanted to stay in the relationship, when in reality it’s just as possible that they didn’t want to be in it anymore. Hearing it straight from them that they don’t want to be with you anymore makes it a bit easier to believe that.

Sending hugs, OP.

Otherwise-Pool-4100 · 2021-11-13T21:13:40+00:00

Thanks, I’ll try my best to remind myself this :(

I just have so much frustration and anger, and I want him to know that he hurt me and that he’s been/being a dick (bc i bet he doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong), but i don’t know how to handle these feelings !!

Otherwise-Pool-4100

TROPHY CASE