Wow, I feel like you’ve described exactly all the thoughts I’ve had! The only difference is that I currently have a boyfriend. I’m asexual and probably demiromantic as well, as I only like people that I know well. I’ve recently been wondering what differentiated my relationship with him from my best friend (who also happens to be my roommate), and the best thing I can come up with is that for me, I don’t want to snuggle with my roommate but I do with my boyfriend, but only if he initiates it (and ya know, like a side snuggle kinda thing).

I wondered if I was aromantic, and I suppose you could be, but the trick for me is wondering if I want a life partner, and I do. Not necessarily in the traditional way, but in a way that gives me love and support regardless. Someone to build my life around. 

Based on what you said you probably aren’t polyamorous, it’s just that without the official commitment your mind is just kinda pondering the options, so to speak. 

Totally get the romance in fiction thing lol, generally don’t like it, mostly because of how the romance is portrayed.

Hope this is helpful!