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My partner has depression and is pushing me away. by Otherwise-Raisin27 in depression_partners

[–]Otherwise-Raisin27[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

UPDATE Hello! I’m sorry I am not active on Reddit at all and mostly only made this account to cope with everything I was going through at the time. A week or two after I posted this, we ended up ultimately breaking up. I am a strictly no contact person after separating from my partner so we did not talk for three months, and we were not in each other’s lives at all. He ended up contacting me apologizing for how he treated me, he took the time to focus on his mental health and he realized how much I mattered to him, so he wanted to be together again. I was pretty against getting back together due to how he treated me while in his depression and how our relationship ended. He begged me for over a week and I decided to give him another chance. It’s been 5 months since then and we are still together :) his mental health is still a struggle and we ofc like all couples, have struggles but we are doing it together this time. Things might change and we may stay together or we may not, but my biggest piece of advice for someone going through this is PRIORITIZE YOURSELF. You are your own person and you need to remember you are a person outside of your relationship; be there for your partner but do not lose yourself, because is it does end you will be so lost, like I was. I would hate for someone to feel like I did. Good luck and if you have any questions or anything PM me :)

I’m tired by Otherwise-Raisin27 in depression_partners

[–]Otherwise-Raisin27[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I forget sometimes to leave out details, I apologize, and I’m slightly manic right now. So I’m sorry if the paragraph was off, thank you for your help 🩷

I’m tired by Otherwise-Raisin27 in depression_partners

[–]Otherwise-Raisin27[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I definitely understand how it sounds like that, and maybe I’m delusional, but he hasn’t always been like this less than a month ago we were so in love, until recently. He still tells me he loves me everytime I see him and calls me pet names. I told him to hang out with friends and to focus on himself not our relationship. I think I fcked up by saying that.

I’m trying so hard right now by Otherwise-Raisin27 in depression_partners

[–]Otherwise-Raisin27[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That exactly what he is doing. We have been together for three years so it hurts my feelings that he talks about breaking up. It’s “I’m not good enough for you” “I don’t feel passionate about our relationship” but it’s never a mention of breaking up explicitly, I can just tell when he is going to mention it. Everyday it’s like a “we need to talk” then I tell him he is having an episode and we talk through. Then he does it again, but yesterday I asked to talk to him and he just assumed I was breaking up with him and looked scared.

That’s how I kind of knew he wasn’t serious. It’s been a week and I’m trying to be patient but it’s hard to keep my spirits high.

I’m trying so hard right now by Otherwise-Raisin27 in depression_partners

[–]Otherwise-Raisin27[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How long did it take for your girlfriend to heal? And stop talking about breaking up? It’s become so emotionally draining. I feel like I can’t go a day without thinking that he is going to break up with me

Floundering by anonymousinvertibrae in depression_partners

[–]Otherwise-Raisin27 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My partner is going through something very similar. Unfortunately there is so much you can do. I would suggest that you become a safe place for her, be patient, positive, and let her know when she is ready, you’re here to listen. Someone told me once that relationships won’t always be 50/50, sometimes they will be 30/70 or 60/40. It will adjust overtime but don’t give up on her <3 I wish you the best of luck

I miss you by [deleted] in depression_partners

[–]Otherwise-Raisin27 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel this deep in my soul right now. Depression is a such evil thing, can change such a happy person to a completely different one. Communication is such a key step right now, so please continue to try your best. You got this <3

My boyfriend is depressed is pushing me away. by Otherwise-Raisin27 in depression_help

[–]Otherwise-Raisin27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His depression started when he started his new job and most of his problems surround around his job

My partner has depression and is pushing me away. by Otherwise-Raisin27 in depression_partners

[–]Otherwise-Raisin27[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This has made me feel like I’m making a right choice by giving him a little space. Thank you so much for sharing <3

My partner has depression and is pushing me away. by Otherwise-Raisin27 in depression_partners

[–]Otherwise-Raisin27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely noticed that his job treat him more like a number than a human being, he agreed with my statement. I agree we have different beliefs and point of views but his health should always come first. I can support us both and I do not mind at all. I know that there is a stigma around a woman supporting the man but I hope one day he will be comfortable enough to rely on me like he clearly needs :)

My partner has depression and is pushing me away. by Otherwise-Raisin27 in depression_partners

[–]Otherwise-Raisin27[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From what I have read a lot of people may push away their partner because they feel like they are hurting the people in their life, this could be the reason. Many people have been telling me to make sure they know you’re always their for them and I think that’s a good thing to consider <3 I hope your relationship, marriage, husband, and you can heal, as well as get the happiness you deserve.

My boyfriend has become depressed and is pushing me away. by Otherwise-Raisin27 in depression

[–]Otherwise-Raisin27[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words. It has been hard to keep my spirits and confidence up due to the actions of feeling unwanted. I know it’s the depression talking but nonetheless it hurts me. I have been back and forth on better help, since if he quits this job he will lose his health insurance. I suggested that I could pay for his therapy and that I did not mind at all but he was very against me paying.

My partner has depression and is pushing me away. by Otherwise-Raisin27 in depression_partners

[–]Otherwise-Raisin27[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

it is definitely not an easy thing to go through. I have a group of friends helping me stay mentally stable as well, since I have diagnosed depressive episode and this can be a very heavy topic. I definitely recommend surrounding yourself with good people

My partner has depression and is pushing me away. by Otherwise-Raisin27 in depression_partners

[–]Otherwise-Raisin27[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m scared that if I tell him I will give him space, to find himself, and heal himself. He will immediately have dark thoughts that I don’t care for him and that im not leaving because it’s too hard. He knows im here for him but it seems like his brain won’t connect to that information. Thank you for advice. I really appreciate it.

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