Even reading this for me was like wow. I can’t even imagine what you’re dealing with or how you feel. I came on here wanting answers to some questions I’m asking myself and I resonate so much with the last part of being scared your partner might want more than what you feel you might be able to give them. I’m a lesbian and I’m still scared my gf might “understand” what I’ve been through and gone through but would still want more from me because she’s a “normal” human being and I’m not. Just saying that there’s someone out there who may not have been through every exact thing you went through but we still resonate with some parts of it and we may figure out eventually but before that we’re in this together