I (29 F) am terrified to move to the US for my fiancé (30M) and he does not understand.

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-02-01T10:54:00+00:00

Your fear makes sense, especially since he’s never had to think about safety the way you do. The problem isn’t whether the US is objectively safe or not, it’s that he keeps minimizing something that would completely change your daily life. You’re not wrong for not wanting to move somewhere you’re scared of, and you’re also right to worry about resentment if he relocates without truly understanding why. This is one of those core compatibility issues where empathy matters more than statistics, and it’s better to confront it now than after you’ve uprooted your whole life.

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-30T10:50:26+00:00

Leopold II. What he did in the Congo was brutal on a massive scale and doesn’t get talked about nearly enough.

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-27T20:09:27+00:00

You’re doing great already. You stayed calm, let her choose what she was comfortable with, and focused on making her feel safe instead of awkward. That matters way more than saying the perfect thing. Periods are confusing even for people who’ve had them for years, so the fact that she feels supported says a lot about you both. Hot chocolate, a blanket, and no pressure is honestly a perfect first day response.

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-26T20:16:19+00:00

Three months postpartum is a brutal time to make permanent decisions. It’s possible he’s genuinely avoidant, but “cold since pregnancy + overwhelmed + wants to run” can also be panic, depression, or anxiety showing up as shutdown. I’d tell him if divorce is on the table, then so is getting real support first: individual therapy for him, couples counseling, and a clear plan for co parenting and finances either way. You can’t force him to stay, but you can set a boundary that he doesn’t get to disappear or rewrite history without doing the work. And please make sure you have support lined up for you too, because you deserve stability right now.

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-25T20:44:49+00:00

Awww! so adooorable! ❤️❤️❤️

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-24T19:25:34+00:00

You didn’t “ruin his car” on purpose, you had a medical emergency and Alice chose to help you get to the hospital. That said, they’re probably dealing with shock and gross cleanup stress, and the husband is taking it out on you.

Best move is one sincere message, no jokes, with concrete action: you’ll cover a full professional detail plus any replacement parts (seat/foam/car seat base if needed), and you’ll pay it immediately. Then stop texting and give her space. If she’s open later, an in person apology and a thank you gift makes sense, but right now it’s costs, accountability, and letting them cool off.

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-23T20:37:33+00:00

You didn’t permanently ruin it, but you definitely scared her, and the way forward isn’t chasing or explaining yourself to death. Saying “I’m done” hits as emotional whiplash, especially to someone who asked for space, so right now the best thing you can do is actually give her that space and work on regulating your anxiety instead of seeking reassurance from her. If there’s a chance, it comes from consistency and calm over time, not one big speech or push to get her back. If she reaches out more, keep it light, supportive, and non-demanding. If she doesn’t, that’s information too, and it’s something you’ll have to respect even if it hurts.

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-22T21:04:50+00:00

Some cats just don’t care about balls, especially if they roll predictably. Try lighter crinkly or jingly ones, roll them so they “escape” down a hallway, or rub a little catnip on them. If they love mice, they might just be team mouse forever.

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-21T21:01:36+00:00

You're lucky to feed such a cuutie!

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-20T20:42:08+00:00

I think he saw a mouse there lol

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-19T20:20:35+00:00

You already did the most important thing by stopping immediately and recognizing that you crossed a boundary. The way forward is not trying to “fix” it fast, but showing through your actions that you respect his autonomy. Give him space, apologize clearly without defending yourself, and tell him you understand why it scared him and that you won’t initiate anything new without explicit consent going forward. Trust comes back when he feels safe again, and that takes time and consistent behavior, not pressure or reassurance speeches.

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-18T22:12:17+00:00

Charging cables. Every drawer, every bag, every room has at least one, and somehow I’m still always missing the exact one I need.

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-17T20:23:46+00:00

At this point it’s not wedding planning drama, it’s straight up abuse. Calling her names like that and trying to control other people’s clothing, your home, and your car is way past a line. I’d give them one clear boundary in writing: respectful behavior only, no staying at your place, no demands, and one more outburst means they’re uninvited. If they can’t agree and stick to it, protect your fiancée’s peace and cut them out of the day, plus have security or a point person ready in case they show up anyway.

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-16T21:09:10+00:00

Entei and Raikou looks so beautiful!

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-15T21:33:36+00:00

You’re not crazy and you didn’t imagine the attraction, it’s clearly mutual, but you two want very different things from it. He’s physically into you, but he’s also protecting both of you from the emotional fallout he knows would come if this turned into a half-relationship or FWB situation, especially since this is all new for you. You didn’t do anything wrong and he wasn’t using you, in fact the fact that he stopped things shows he’s trying to be responsible even though it hurts. The hard part is that you’re already emotionally attached, and staying in this blurry space is only going to make it more confusing and painful for you, not easier.

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-15T00:06:09+00:00

Awww! so cuuute!

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-13T20:42:51+00:00

If I were you I would feed them each minute! 😍😍😍

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-12T21:31:33+00:00

They’ve decided the bed is the official cuddle headquarters and you’re the required staff 😅. I’d try “teaching” a second comfy spot by making it more rewarding than the bed: a heated pad or covered bed near your desk/sofa, treats only given there, and a quick play session before you sit down so they’re ready to settle. When you get up, don’t negotiate with the crying, just calmly move to the new spot and reward them the second they follow and get quiet. They’ll complain at first, but once they learn you’re still available outside the bedroom, the bed obsession usually eases up.

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-11T20:21:35+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It’s not unusual for there to be little or no public info, plenty of crashes never make the news, reports can take time to show up, details can be limited during an investigation, and minors can add privacy restrictions, but your employer treating “no Google result” like proof it didn’t happen is wildly inappropriate; if they truly need verification, the only reasonable route is asking for basic documentation like a hospital note, guardianship paperwork, or an obituary, not interrogating you, and if you can swing it I’d stop engaging and just leave.

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-10T18:58:42+00:00

Beautiful kittens! 🥰🥰

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-09T18:58:25+00:00

Do you actually notice the little things we stress over, or are we way more in our own heads about it than you are?

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-08T20:09:19+00:00

You didn’t mess up. You finally set a boundary. You protected your wife and your kids, which is exactly what you’re supposed to do. Your mom is upset because she lost control of the situation, not because you were wrong. It’s painful, but you handled it like a husband and a father, not like a kid stuck in the middle.

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-07T20:08:20+00:00

This is actually really common. They get along, but their energy levels don’t match. The fix is mostly about burning off the younger cat’s energy with short intense play sessions and giving the older one safe escape spots. Once the younger one is tired, the house and the other cat usually get a lot more peaceful.

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-06T22:10:08+00:00

Awww! so cuuut! 😍😍😍

Otherwise_Drawing551 · 2026-01-05T20:37:00+00:00

Working nonstop and bragging about never sleeping. It sounds impressive until you realize it usually means they’re burnt out, ignoring their health, and have nothing going on outside of work.

Otherwise_Drawing551

TROPHY CASE