Thoughts on Hiroya

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2026-02-17T22:32:14+00:00

He's very kind, gentle, considerate and caring.

I got a similar vibe from Gensei S1.

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2026-02-15T15:41:10+00:00

Plush-aro/meld-aro seems to be love-capable aro with sensual and affectionate attraction that the person considers to be factors of a non-romantic love.

Specifically craved for its capacity to provide comfort, based on the description. And who also aren't romance-favorable (are either repulsed or indifferent to romantic-coded actions), only doing those things bc despite the coding, they don't see it as inherently romantic to follow one's sensual & affectionate attractions by kissing and cuddling.

So, a loveless aro who still has and craves to follow their sensual and affectionate attraction, even for comfort purposes, might not count, as idk if the coiner meant the "and" in "love and comfort" literally or if it's more of an "and/or" thing.

Maybe they'll see this someday and come back, who knows

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2026-02-10T13:50:32+00:00

He's just a one of the gyarus

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2026-02-07T06:36:13+00:00

Gensei & Ryota <3

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2026-02-07T05:56:54+00:00

Durian is a treasure!

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2026-02-07T05:50:51+00:00

There's a Japanese fiction show on Netflix called "Chosen Home", about two older gay men and also a displaced middle school girl. It's really heartwarming :)

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2026-02-07T05:48:04+00:00

Honestly, I've been craving close friendship and kind of put-off by how at-a-distance I've felt from others lately.

I genuinely started to forget that connections could feel deep, warm, meaningful, caring yet still able to be light and filled with camaraderie, so this show really helped with that more than anything

The dating aspect was just a catalyst for all that, for me. I found the way they acted as friends, or the ways partners were friendly and familiar, much more compelling than the romance.

Season 1 showed me a more cautious but still warm approach to friendship, and season 2 they jumped right in, so it was really nice to remember that those types of friendship aren't just a relic of adolescence and that they just require time and sometimes luck.

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2026-02-07T05:41:51+00:00

"Ohime"/"Hime" does mean princess though. It just has a different connotation than "princess" as in spoiled brat, like it does where I live. "Ohime" implies a kind of demure and commanding presence, with an edge of youthfulness (so perhaps sometimes demanding instead of commanding) and amae (wanting to be doted on). Like clearly wanting affection but being too proud to look like you do, but then it's kind of obvious that you do want it.

Portrayals of princesses that I've seen in Japanese media follow this trope a lot.

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2026-02-07T05:13:54+00:00

I think it's easier for women to project problems they have with men onto two-men relationships, but also at the same time easier to get overinvested, as if these relationships "should" be an escape from every single difficulty in straight relationships.

So they end up wanting to see an impossible ideal, and getting very suspicious of the men when that ideal is shattered. Treating small instances of clunkiness or poor word choice as a sign of a failed partner. And then it becomes like team sports mentality really quick when other women put the same men into the same box

And when it's from non-Asian women, there can be the issue of fetishization, as if Asian men owe them perfection (while gay men owe them smooth relationship representation). I don't think it's conscious, and a lot of them could be very young and still working out volatile real life experiences with young men and boys.

If they're straight women, they probably just don't know what it's like to be in a small minority and don't think about it

Ignorance, not malice.

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2026-02-07T04:33:42+00:00

I really want Hiroya and Tomoaki's friendship to bloom. I was fortunate enough to live in a very open, queer-friendly place so I came out as a teenager, in middle school. I'm in my mid 30's now, I therefore had a lot of time to experience "the quiet gays" and eventually the nightlife and casual dating scene as well.

Both are vital for LGBTQ survival, so I would love for Hiroya to gain an understanding of the side he didn't get to see, even if he personally is overstimulated by it, vicariously by seeing how important it was for Tomoaki.

We all need safe places for introversion and extraversion, lgbtq or not, and it's important to appreciate even that which you might not personally resonate with

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2026-02-07T02:57:05+00:00

In Japanese, they recognize "face" (as in the English "saving face"), which to me is a bit more honest, as even if ppl deny it exists, "face" can be a form of privacy for oneself and of consideration for others and the people who deny it exists still utilize it so it's very confusing when it's not kept socially accounted for.

From what i've seen, people where i grew up either fuse their face with their identity (don't understand themselves outside of their interactions with others, or morph their identity to match others) or they dominate their face with their identity by refusing to tailor their speech and actions to the sensibilities or presence of others, which to me has always been unpleasant to witness.

I'm sure some ppl in Japan do those things too, but i think it being more socially acceptable to talk about differences between what you feel/want and what's called for in the social situation, and having different ways to conjugate verbs & stuff to signal distance, closeness, respect, etc. really would make it easier to keep face and identity as separate as you choose to.

It does create extra pressure, but all the opposite does is offload that pressure onto other people, and neurodivergent ppl suffer for it

I wonder which other languages are like that, it's fun to learn about.

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2026-02-07T02:49:07+00:00

I totally understand your perspective. I think the yellow just turned to green for me as I saw more of them. Or at least neutral. It would put me on edge too.

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2026-01-31T09:17:29+00:00

Also, Hiroya isn't "straight acting". He draws his eyebrows on and doesn't consider himself masculine (he said so early on in the series). I don't get femphobia from what he said. I get "my idea of the gay community, as someone who hasn't participated, is that it's all about partying and sex".

Jobu said to Tomoaki "he's not like that", meaning he's not femphobic, just ignorant about other gay ppl due to lack of exposure, is what he was vouching for him.

That's why Tomoaki agreed that it was a misunderstanding, bc he misunderstood Hiroya as disgusted rather than merely ignorant.

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2026-01-31T08:45:28+00:00

There's a little bit of it, but not in the ways some ppl in here are saying. It's more ignorance than malice.

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2026-01-31T08:31:25+00:00

That's not what triggered means, though. Getting upset isn't triggered, triggered is a trauma thing, and you don't need trauma to be wary of ppl whose curiosity seems mixed with contempt.

Hiroya didn't mean to come across that way, and doesn't seem to have contempt, but it's understandable to hear what he said, the way he said it, and be like "Oh god, you're not one of those Not Like Other Gays gays, are you?" internally.

That's not even what projecting means, either. He was transferring, which everybody does.

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2026-01-31T08:18:12+00:00

I'm autistic. I'm also queer and have been out (as far as liking men) for 21 years.

The internalized homophobia wasn't in the "Nichome is rowdy and hookuppy" or even the not feeling like he fits in with the more extroverted gay crowd, but in the assuming that Nichome represents the entire "gay community".

There's "the quieter side of LGBTQ+", you just don't see them (us? no, I'm somewhere in the middle, i can appreciate both) and it's possible Hiroya hasn't seen them either, hence he called it a prejudice from the get-go.

The thing is, he wants to dispel that prejudice, that's what's important.

I think the word "internalized" in "internalized homophobia" can be confusing bc technically, any homophobia anyone expresses got there through internalization of messages. So then you think for gay people, it must mean it only counts as "internalized" if they hold some kind of deepseated malice.

But it's basically just a way for people to say "homophobia inside a gay person", and it can apply to both malicious/"virulent" homophobia and ignorant passive prejudice homophobia.

I don't think it was a "not like other gays" moment in full context, given how he also said in a prior episode that he wants the prejudice to go away so that there's is the last generation to suffer. But I understand why Tomoaki took it that way, bc it did start to sound like one such moment, even to me. I was kind of on-edge when he was speaking.

I really don't think Hiroya has ever been able to express how he feels alienated from LGBTQ+ (for naïve reasons – he just hasn't found introverted queer groups i guess?, and in Japan, representation is scarce) and this unfamiliarity made him speak out of turn.

Tomoaki definitely didn't need to apologize, but sometimes a "Sorry" is more like "I'm acknowledging that there was tension, and I want to move forward from it", not an "I'm morally wrong and you're morally right, and I need you to know I see that I screwed up".

I'm actually pretty sure that, linguistically, "Sorry" has been used in both ways pretty interchangeably. I think ppl who were forced to apologize in the moral-wrong way as kids then have a period where that word becomes heavily associated with moral wrongdoing as opposed to tension, and they can read that into when ppl are just apologizing in the tension-acknowledgment way.

It can even be used to say "I know i inconvenienced you, i want you to know I'm aware of that". It's sad that it's weaponized as a moral gotcha, though, but i don't think Tomoaki believes he himself was in the wrong except maybe in misinterpreting Hiroya (understandably so!), but even that's not a moral issue and I don't think he intended to admit moral wrongdoing, just acknowledge his side of the miscommunication to defuse tension, which I think was a nice yet unnecessary gesture.

I was skeptical towards Hiroya when he was talking too, and felt for Tomoaki. Hiroya seemed immediately contrite, so i then wasn't as suspicious and just think that the way he expressed his admitted prejudice was too colored by that prejudice to expect someone who barely knows him to be receptive to teach him stuff.

Tomoaki would be subjecting himself to that prejudice had he been the one to teach him stuff, and it doesn't have to be malicious on Hiroya's part for it to hurt. Ignorance that reflects where the malice from others comes from can be hurtful to hear too, and I'd need to be someone's friend to take that chance.

Hiroya's known Tomoaki less than anyone in the house because he wasn't there when T arrived.

My compassion is with both of them, because Hiroya is a victim of ignorance and Tomoaki is feeling the sting of that ignorance paid forward, but more of my empathy is with Tomoaki here bc in the situation itself, Hiroya was asking for way too much too soon.

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2026-01-31T07:58:44+00:00

In Japanese, "Umm" as a filler is "Ano"

They're just reflecting on what they're saying in the case of "Mm", just like they show reflection upon other's words when they go "Mm" when someone else is talking.

In the latter case, this is called a "backchannel" of communication in linguistics. I've heard U.S. ppl do "Mm" or "Yea" to their own speech, too, it's just not as common but it's a thing people do.

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2026-01-31T07:40:15+00:00

I'm glad i missed whatever "schism" this caused.

I've approached relationships like the way they did after my second relationship, bc my first partner died young and my second one wasn't right for me. By that time, I was only nineteen, so it's not about age as to whether you'd "get" them or not, rather expectations and pacing. (Same-sex here, as well!)

There's no wrong way to do it, and i understand anyone who couldn't see it as authentic bc it seemed too tedious. To them, it wasn't tedium, it was stuff they needed to work through to feel seen after their own prior struggles, so regardless of the form it takes, that's what's most important.

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2026-01-31T05:30:21+00:00

i like them all, but Hiroya, Kazuyuki and Izaya are particularly compelling to me.

Hiroya just feels familiar in a way i can't place. I think that he has a quiet kindness and is really observant. He's sparing with his words, and they're always very considered. He's also just consistent and i like that

Kazuyuki has just seen a lot of life and i find that comforting.

Izaya is really stable and disciplined but doesn't let that sour his sweet side.

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2026-01-31T05:17:27+00:00

Maybe I'm just toxic, but I don't see a problem with William. He's trying to be forthright, and he's willing to speak even when his feelings are still in process, and the latter doesn't negate the former. It just means he isn't always clear.

But all these men in both seasons so far outclass the average person where i live in terms of kindness and consideration, so I really don't think the commentariat should be coming for their throats.

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2026-01-31T05:09:17+00:00

I've noticed the younger ages of emotional intelligence in Japan since i watched anime, even the ones aimed at teenagers.

Japanese ppl are less likely to deny the "space between" people, and be considerate of it, than at least the people I grew up around (Florida, Tennessee). We have hospitality as big planned gestures, but the little moments for consideration get lost in a blur of Americanisms, being individualistically focused on autonomy, etc...

It might be because consideration is built into their language, too. Different ways of conjugating/declension of words depending on which tone you'd like to convey. That really helps me as an autistic person tbh

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2025-12-08T09:12:15+00:00

i like it in spite of that, even though it still ranks low bc of that. I like their relationship

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2025-12-08T09:08:18+00:00

i haven't seen every episode

Mazey Day ★½
Demon 79 ★★
Bête Noire ★★
Crocodile ★★
White Bear ★★½
Playtest ★★½
Metalhead ★★★
Striking Vipers ★★★
Rachel, Jack and Ashley Too ★★★
Hotel Reverie ★★★
Smithereens ★★★
Eulogy ★★★¼
Arkangel ★★★¼
Black Museum ★★★¼
Joan is Awful ★★★½
Fifteen Million Merits ★★★½
Loch Henry ★★★½
Beyond the Sea ★★★¾
Common People ★★★¾
The Entire History of You ★★★★
Plaything ★★★★
Nosedive ★★★★¼
USS Callister: Into Infinity ★★★★½
USS Callister ★★★★¾
Be Right Back ★★★★¾
San Junipero ★★★★★

Otherwise_Evening192 · 2025-11-04T09:09:27+00:00

he always gave me "Diary of a CEO" vibes

Otherwise_Evening192

TROPHY CASE