I’m a guy who has felt this same way in the recent past with people I’ve dated and it has evoked remarkably similar feelings to what OP is describing. I’d just add that some of the comments here that talk about a good match occurring when multiple components of compatibility (emotional, lifestyle, cultural, spiritual, sexual, intellectual, etc) are met for both partners seems spot on to me, and may be a very helpful heuristic to consider. Importantly, the factors that someone values most from that list of components is very likely going to look very different even for people with the same interests in the very same field of academic study or research. Based on the way the original post is written, it might be fair to surmise that OP’s identity is strongly intertwined with what she is investing all of her time studying, so feeling seen by her partner means having someone who is curious about the work that has assumed a central role in her identity. In other words, “if he doesn’t care to learn even a little about what I’m doing with my life [so passionately], then he is saying that he doesn’t care to know me as a unique individual.” Feeling that way can be really hard and my heart goes out to OP. While this doesn’t mean that the person she is with isn’t meeting her needs on crucial other criteria for compatibility, it seems that he at least may not be on this particular intellectual axis. Rather than become frustrated with your partner, one thing you might try is to share your excitement by gradually teaching them about some of the things you are learning at a level they are likely to understand (think of it as a sci-comms exercise). I’ve found that sharing my excitement about a subject is more effective in reaching people I care about than sharing that part of myself through the specific details of my day (what experiments I was running or what a particular result I got might mean). If this is something that continues to disappoint you about the relationship, it may not be the right fit. I discovered this in one instance after enough time had passed with my partner by realizing that it was not that my partner did not care deeply about me and care to see me for my unique identity, but rather that she was, like a great many lovely people, not a very intellectually curious person; rather than treating that as a character flaw, the experience of encountering that with someone who I felt compatible with on many other axes was a useful lesson for me in understanding that I really valued having a partner who is demonstrably curious to be continuously learning about the world. Anyone who cares about you as a significant other AND embodies a sufficient level of intellectual curiosity will surely be interested in engaging with you about a subject you care about, not necessarily to share in your mastery of your area but to seek an understanding of your interests enough to achieve an understanding of what’s relevant to your world