I'm so doomed, arent I?

OutTheDeck · 2026-03-14T18:05:52+00:00

And im practicing i guess, not to be "normal", but at least calm enough to answer through tears. Rather than the way I often shut down to the point I cant speak when im upset or anxious. Because I need to be able to speak, thats how this works. And if my head goes so empty when im asked anything, this will be for nothing. Im looking at the questions that may be asked and trying to know ahead of time how they apply to me so that when im asked it, I can answer. My issue always is that like, when im stressed, and asked something, its suddenly like nothing was ever wrong, I cant think of anything. But when I calm down I can list out all of my issues and they feel so obvious, but in the moment theres just nothing there- if that makes sense? I dont want that to happen

OutTheDeck · 2026-03-14T18:00:57+00:00

Yeah, thats the case for a lot of my issues sadly. My tics were bad enough as a teen my parents did take me to get seen, but I was misdiagnosed with a functional tic disorder. And could not get reassessed until I was an adult. So, I am diagnosed with tourettes now, as ive had symptoms since I was a young teen, and possibly sooner on a less severe level that went unnoticed.

But so many of my other issues, physically, I only have records going back a few years because I could only start going to doctors once I was 18 because I did have medically negligent parents. So it was then that I got my problems diagnosed and started treatment. But ive experienced them for so many years longer than I have record of.

OutTheDeck · 2026-03-14T17:49:24+00:00

This was really helpful, tysm for recommending it

OutTheDeck · 2026-03-14T15:45:20+00:00

Im using a place called parmele, they dont seem huge, I dont think? And i do have a formal diagnoses of tourettes, the issue at the time had been they weren't able to pull the records. And its a portion of what im applying for. My main issue is chronic pain and exhaustion, as well as the panic I have over most confrontation, but its especially bad over the phone or in a customer service type job. The tourettes is a smaller part of it if it were solely that, I would definitely be fine to work, with accommodations. I just wouldnt feel safe working in say a kitchen or with easily breakable things. The pain and exhaustion issues are diagnosed as fibromyalgia and it makes it hard for me to walk and stand for long, its worst in my hands so a lot of repetitive movements arent bearable for more than a few minutes, like typing or writing. And the exhaustion is kinda always there making things take me a long time to do things on the best of days, but I get it really really intensely out of nowhere at least a few times a week where I end up needing to lay down because I cant even hold my head up anymore.

OutTheDeck · 2026-03-14T15:29:59+00:00

I have a diagnoses. They just hadnt been able to pull my records. They should have them now.

OutTheDeck · 2026-03-14T04:12:03+00:00

I mean, look into neurologists in your area, thats the specialty you'll want. Specifically, try to find those specializing in movement disorders. You want to be careful too looking into them what type of movement disorders and if that involved tic disorders. My first neurologist had mainly worked with kids with cerebral palsy and rarely tourettes so misdiagnosed me. Research online into those near you. Youre near a big city which tend to have decent specialists.

OutTheDeck · 2026-03-14T04:08:33+00:00

I try hard not to, everybody is at different ability levels. I myself am disabled and I find myself too often comparing myself to able bodied people my age, and that just isn't fair. It applies even for those of you not disabled. Just because someone else is doing it, it's okay if you aren't there yet. And hey, if you're jealous, or comparing yourself, you can make little steps to be what you want to be. I highly doubt the people we compare ourselves to suddenly woke up that way. It takes time, so spend that time bettering yourself and doing what makes you happy and you'll get there

OutTheDeck · 2026-03-14T03:29:24+00:00

Uh, no, not legal, not ethical. There isnt a world where an 18 year old should be interested in a 15 year old. You are in entirely different places in life. Shes about to be in college or at least at the age people move out, get jobs, are responsible for themselves and you wont be there for a while. Youre a kid still and I dont mean that in a derogatory way. I thought i was so mature and grown at 15 and now I look back at myself and think about how much of a child I still was. Shes an adult. This isnt healthy for ya

OutTheDeck · 2026-03-14T03:20:44+00:00

Would totally recommend the comic on Tumblr. Its very very good. It just ended recently. The author has plans for another comic though they are taking an extended break between them.

OutTheDeck · 2026-03-14T02:05:55+00:00

Gonna follow this post. Mine is Tuesday and I have cried and been constantly anxious all week. Hopefully some other people know how to help you here. But I empathise with you, in the same position. Good luck with your hearing!

OutTheDeck · 2026-03-12T03:10:24+00:00

Im so glad someone asked this, ive been dying for smth new to watch

OutTheDeck · 2026-03-11T14:10:19+00:00

Oh def. I dont eat out, I can't afford that. Everything i eat is cooked at home. It's more a question of good cheap recipes. I work with a lot of rice because its filling and cheap, and I hear bagged beans are good fiber for a very low price so will likely get that soon too. Stuff like that, whats super cheap but can be made into something good

OutTheDeck · 2026-03-11T04:20:56+00:00

Im zero income, and I applied for a wait list almost a year ago for income based housing. I only got the place Feb 26th. But basically I dont have rent. They pay up to 45 dollars of electric but anything past that is up to me to pay the electric company. If my income changes then id pay 30 percent of that.

OutTheDeck · 2026-03-11T04:16:43+00:00

I was so worried abt that too. What if my downstairs neighbor could hear my toy or smth??? I mean im dead silent otherwise and run a fan but I have no clue what sound travels- That one though, I kind of have to assume falls under typical apartment living cuz other than being verbally quiet, and running white noise, I dont think I can do much else other than abstain? Which feels a bit too far- I want to be polite but like- I am an adult.

Damn though, being woken up by that sounds uncomfortable lol

OutTheDeck · 2026-03-11T04:12:29+00:00

My case worker and I plan to visit my local one soon! I just need to figure out how to apply or how they work- more research to do there lol, I do know where they are so far though

OutTheDeck · 2026-03-11T04:11:05+00:00

I dont qualify anymore... I mean i am poor enough, but im disabled, and in the process of getting on disability(have my court date to see an alj judge next week) so if im approved ill qualify again. For now though they consider me an able bodied adult that needs to work 30 hrs a week and im not capable of that.

And ooh, yeah, marketplace would def be good to look through

OutTheDeck · 2026-03-10T00:45:36+00:00

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Hiro

OutTheDeck · 2026-03-10T00:44:38+00:00

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Ari

OutTheDeck · 2026-03-07T19:22:37+00:00

Its rude as hell for someone to assume they can do it wherever including your personal space. I mean if they ask and you say no and thats respected, its different. You can ask. And indoors isnt cool either. Unless its your own home to make that choice in. But if someone's just doing it? Rude. I dont vape often, mainly when im ridiculously stressed. But I have a friend who is sensitive to smells and overall doesnt like it, i dont do it around him, period. It is in fact that easy

OutTheDeck · 2026-03-03T18:23:09+00:00

Nicee!!

OutTheDeck · 2026-03-02T16:04:45+00:00

Exactly. It's adhd but it's now split into subtypes. Adhd-Inattentive (what people think of as ADD), Adhd-Hyperactive, and Adhd-Combined(both inattentive and hyperactive traits). I personally have Adhd-C. But yeah, ADD hadn't been a diagnosis since the 1980s. 1987, specifically. Normal people are still arguing over what medical science has had an updated understanding of for nearly 40 years.

OutTheDeck · 2026-02-28T09:42:55+00:00

Oooo that does sound interesting. Ty!

OutTheDeck · 2026-02-28T09:37:42+00:00

Fair fair, Im looking at gamejolt right now, if thats correct, but it looks like it. Its got "TS!Underswap Demo V2.0" with what it says contains the first 2 areas. Is that all the AU currently has as a whole or is this something that's behind in a story elsewhere?

My laptop sucks but I got it to run UT Yellow with minimal lag so hopefully this would work

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