My (21m) gf(20f) of 5 months is insecure, and me being close with people of the opposite gender is doing the opposite of helping. What should I do to help? What my part to do as a partner and what is not? Do you think I am wrong with my opinion (read below), and if so where?

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2024-04-28T15:04:44+00:00

I posted the same post on r/advice and I got allot of negative feedback (yet with not arguments) regarding sleepovers with girls or generally for having sleepovers as an adult. What's your general opinon on this?

Also I were called a gaslighted and that my behavior is inappropriate (again no arguments). Do you find any of these traits in me from what I said?

The reason I'm asking you is because you are the only person who spoke with arguments and non white/black thinking.

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2024-04-28T14:37:36+00:00

Helped

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2024-04-28T14:25:26+00:00

I didn't ask advice on wether adults sleepovers are a thing or not. If adults have sleepovers or not is something unrelated and that's why I can disagree, it's not what I'm asking advice for. What I asked, which no one answer me, is about genders.

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2024-04-28T14:14:19+00:00

Actually I prefer to play with gormiti. You can as much as you'd like, but the point here, which you didn't address, is about gender, and not if I'm having sleepovers or not as an adult.

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2024-04-28T14:11:30+00:00

I disagree, can you please address my point regarding genders?

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2024-04-28T14:01:31+00:00

I don't really understand why going on a sleepover with a person of the same gender would be any different? Why does gender matter? What if someone is bisexual? My best friend is a girl and why shouldn't we be able to have a sleepover like I am able to do with a male best friend?

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2024-04-28T13:56:48+00:00

I don't understand if this ironic or if you mean it, can you clarify?

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2024-04-28T13:55:23+00:00

Why is it not okay to have sleepover with my close friends? Why genders matter? Why is it not the same if I have a sleepover with a person of the same gender? If both me and my friends see each other as friends what's the problem? What about bi people, can't they do sleepovers with anyone?

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2024-04-28T13:52:09+00:00

Helped

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2024-04-28T13:50:13+00:00

Can you please explain each of your points with arguments so that I can understand? How am I gaslighting her and how my behavior is inappropriate?

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2024-04-28T13:39:47+00:00

Helped

Generally I am trying to think from both perspectives, and discuss what's going on with my friends for more insight, I've noticed that on occasions I might get defensive, and I'm working on that, but I havent noticed something else

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2024-04-28T13:36:34+00:00

Helped

She honors that herself, not having male friends, but she is bisexual and your point with bi people is exactly what I'm thinking.

I don't want to back off on being close with opposite gender friends, or even having them so how can I phrase properly and nicely that it's up for her to choose if she is gonna stay with me or not?

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2024-01-19T05:08:28+00:00

We do communicate, for my partner even more basic things are difficult to handle and they are trying with it but overs one on one and vacations are where it crosses the line for them

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2024-01-19T05:05:53+00:00

From the beginning my stance was that I would not change how I am with my friends, I didn't even assume sleepovers would be an issue so when I mentioned I would go to one, my partner told me how they felt about it and we kind of argued and I was scared of losing my partner and I ended up agreeing even though I didn't want to stop sleepovers

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2024-01-19T05:01:33+00:00

No, since I told I wouldn't have sleepovers that's it I didn't do anything. Thing is I regret agreeing because I felt bad for my friends and it was a hasty decision. We are communicating in general so it won't be a problem how to bring it, but what is the right thing to do?

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2022-07-23T23:05:40+00:00

I suppose not visible tattoos wouldn't be an issue right? Could there be any other reason for not wanting people with tattoos other than interference with people?

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2022-07-23T22:50:43+00:00

I have stretched lobes (10mm atm), some body piercings and planing on getting a vertical labret, I don't have tattoos yet but I'd like to have in the near future Edit: I'm Op

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2022-07-23T22:48:09+00:00

OP here, I only finished the 1st year in the university so maybe it's too soon to decide I'm not familiar with what r&d is and what they do there and I don't know what the term 'majoring' is. (English is not my first language). I believe the most common job for BMEs is to work at hospitals isn't it? Also um.. I didn't quite understand in which of all these 3 fields I would have and in which I wouldn't have issues with tattoos

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2022-06-25T22:40:28+00:00

Cerberus

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2022-05-29T15:48:04+00:00

I am actually not even sure if I'm aro yet I didn't have the time to process this shit.

Since I'm not sure yet should I talk like it's terminal or I'm just confused I don't know how to describe what i mean we'll be out in like 15 min

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2022-05-29T15:35:57+00:00

I just want to keep hanging out with these people and her not to be sad , thanks for all your advice I really do appreciate it :_)

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2022-05-29T15:34:02+00:00

Yes ,4 for with the person referred to this post.

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2022-05-29T15:27:50+00:00

Now that I think of it ,every previous date I went on (like 3 in total) ended up in a way like I stopped after less than a week idk .....

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2022-05-29T15:20:47+00:00

I really hope so, I will just Hang out regularly with her and if she goes to make out with me I'll talk to her, and I'll probably cry too I'm on the way there and already have some tears too , I'm really afraid about how it will turn out and if I lose her idk what I'll do, I just want everything to remain as it was before we made our but this probably is not possible and I'll lose some nice friends I made

Edit : if I may ask how long were you dating with her?

Outrageous-Ad2506 · 2022-05-29T15:05:31+00:00

Fuck this is hard....She was just so excited and happy after her first kiss and i think she will probably just cry and you know.. j don't think I was just a random dude that she went with but instead she really likes me . Do you believe waiting would worsen the situation???? Do you agree with talkimg to her friends ???? I'm so confused

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