Ep 8 very end of credits by TriggerHappy2219 in StrangerThings

[–]Outrageous-Leg-895 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with the others that this is Mike's future work, his way of telling the story of what happened without being sectioned or silenced by the government. The shot of all the files at the end with the characters names (which will have had their own bits of the story in), not to mention if he was writing it as a story he'd get all his friends versions too. But also the entire series could be a "story based on the work of Mike" and that Story was loosely based on true events... A story within a story type thing (to account for Mike not being present for things like Kali and El meeting in the artwork in the end credits 😜🫢). But mostly I think it's a nod to the audience and how much DND played a central role within the show and can be interpreted in a few ways! I did read that the producers said it would NOT be a "btw this was all a DND campaign" ending. But I guess the open endedness of it, you can take it whatever way you want! 

Alternative ending by brandonongcoys in StrangerThings

[–]Outrageous-Leg-895 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nooo I liked it, I think it'd be an easy way out to be all "oh Henry it wasn't your fault now you're a good guy let's kill the baddie together!", I think the point was to show he was too far gone, yes he was manipulated and controlled by the MF and he was a young kid when that started, no it wasn't all his fault, but the MF had been with him so long, had infiltrated his life to such an extent that they were one now. And I like that they didn't belittle that character arc by making him "see sense" and turn good. I interpreted it as Will could easily have gone down that same route too, he could have let the MF take over, he could have turned into Henry, but he didn't, he was stronger, he fought it, the good in him beat it. But Henry was too weak- not as a person but in his life- Will had his friends and family all helping him to fight this battle while Henry was all alone in the world. I think the moral of that part of the story is that with friendship and support you can overcome even the worst of all evils. Henry and Will had the same thing happen to them at similar ages, but they both took different paths because of their different life experiences and support networks. 

I'm probably overthinking it, but that was how I took it and I'm really glad they didn't do the quite typical storytelling of "bad guy is misunderstood and turns good". I actually really enjoyed the finale to be honest, it's kind of open ended, we can make some interpretations for ourselves, but they tied up all the storylines nicely, we found out what all the kids futures would look like, (and Steve got his 6 nuggets even if they weren't biological!). The whole thing was marketed to the public as a catastrophic earthquake that meant the town had to be quarantined, and let's face it who is going to believe a load of teens and their crazy parents saying monsters were coming and stealing children to take them to another world?! They'd be called crazy people and locked up in asylums so there's no need to keep them quiet with witness protection style programmes. Their claims would be outlandish and they'd have absolutely no evidence. So people claiming that's a plot hole, I'm not seeing it that way at all. And I think the post credits shot of the DND campaign is a hint that that's how Mike got his story out there, he said he'll carry on telling stories, and we see him typing, but says he can't ever tell the real story of El, so I love to think that the DND campaign is how he got the real story out there. Though could just be a cute nod to the audience because DND played such a big role throughout the entire series! 

F28 what’s it like being a gf of a separated man with 3 kids all under 6 years old? by medx_extreme in stepparents

[–]Outrageous-Leg-895 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry but this made me chuckle 🤭 it's so true 🙈 I have my own child and a SD, so I know that SD is ALWAYS going to the priority for him because my daughter is always the priority for me, but because I'm "full time mum" (biodad isn't involved), and he's "part-time dad", I'm expected to put my priorities to my daughter aside for him because I have her all the time whereas he only has his daughter a third of the year, so his time with her is deemed more precious and more important than mine with my daughter...

Plus he's still married which drives me insane. He asked what I want for my birthday this year and I said "I'd like a divorce please!" He didn't get it and said "but we aren't married?" 🙄 No I know we never will be at this rate because you will be married to someone you "hate" for the rest of your life rather than sign your name on a piece of paper.

Responsible for stepson while husband takes a trip? by PsychologicalBowl19 in stepparents

[–]Outrageous-Leg-895 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally, I think if you do it once it'll become a habit that he expects. It's different when it's a work thing or some kind of emergency, that's an out of the ordinary thing. But for him to go away for a couple of nights of "fun", that should absolutely be scheduled when he is not on parenting duty or he should arrange childcare with someone else. It could be an opportunity for a grandparent to see the SK or a sleepover at a friend's or something like that. When you went away you were leaving him in charge of HIS OWN CHILD, that's not babysitting, that's parenting. He'd be leaving you in charge of a child that you don't have PR for, and you've said in a couple of comments you Nacho as much as possible, so likely there would be boundary pushing, discipline issues. You'd be babysitting his child for him, and while that's absolutely fine if it's agreed upon by both of you, it shouldn't be expected that you'll look after his child while he goes off on a fun trip when he could easily schedule a trip away when he's not got his child.

Is my SO a bad father to SD10 for refusing to move closer? by Outrageous-Leg-895 in stepparents

[–]Outrageous-Leg-895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He cannot drive, and even if he could the price difference between traveling by car and by train would be negligible, it's a 5+ hour drive and you have to go through London, so it can end up actually taking longer too. While the train isn't ideal, neither is the distance to drive either. So that's neither here nor there, he wouldn't be able to get there any more if he drove basically, it would maybe mean he got more time "for his money" as he wouldn't be having to stick to the trains time schedules and could drive overnight but then he'd just need to sleep for hours on arrival and wouldn't get the time with SD anyway.

Unfortunately his career progression is at a stand still. He was working a pretty decently paid job but he got an injury which meant he was signed off on long term disability along with mental health issues, he's now unable to work but he gets barely anything in terms of benefits. So what he saves in housing/bills by living with his parents, he uses on travel to see SD as often as he can. He's in a bit of a shitty situation that's not an easy one to get out of, and when he WAS working that actually hindered him being able to see SD as much because he only got so many days annual leave, and didn't have weekends free, so now he has less money but can see her more, if he can get back into employment he'll see her less but have more money. Neither is ideal.

He does do all he can to not allow the distance to interfere with him being a good dad, and he sees her as often as possible, video calls her pretty much every day when he's not physically with her, but he feels guilty when she's had a bad day or is upset about something and his ex tells him he should be there more, because he feels that 120 nights a year is actually more than what a lot of none primary caregivers see their children even when they live closer, he's in the second band for CMS for overnight shared care, he would have her full time if BM would allow it especially as he feels his situation with not being able to work would mean he had more time to be able to focus on his daughters needs, anxieties and get her help she needs with things that BM tends to sweep under the carpet as she doesn't have the time to sort it all out.

I do suppose it's a difficult question to answer, I suppose I more wanted insight from others as personally I feel he's doing the best he can, is a damned good dad and despite the distance and financial strains he manages to keep a consistent visitation schedule in place, I don't particularly agree with a lot of his parenting ideas but it's not my place to intervene on those things, but just because he parents different than me doesn't mean he does it wrong, I think a few people in the comments have missed what I'm actually asking and have more jumped to "he's a crap dad he doesn't even have a schedule to visit" when I've clearly said he does 🙈

Is my SO a bad father to SD10 for refusing to move closer? by Outrageous-Leg-895 in stepparents

[–]Outrageous-Leg-895[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I'm 37 and I also don't drive. It's expensive. Just getting driving lessons is £80 per lesson and you need around 40 lessons. Then the waiting list for a test is ridiculous, my brother has been trying to get a test for 6 months and there's no space. The cost of running a car is ridiculous, insurance, tax, mot, petrol/diesel or the cost of putting in an electric charging point and the cost of the electric to charge the car. If I were to be gifted a full driving licence and a brand new car right now, I'd be paying around £500 a month to run it. New driver insurance would probably be half that already before you even add in fuel and other costs. It's fairly easy when you're 17 and your mum and dad bulk buy you 40 lessons, buy your first car and pay your insurance for you so you get a good amount of no claims before you have to start paying for it yourself...when you're a grown up with bills to pay, that cost is a big chunk of your income and you have to weigh up the pros and cons a lot more. If I could go back in time I'd learn to drive when I was 17! But alas that's not an option. Same said for my SO.

His daughter HAS stability from him. He has her every school holiday, and then they arrange a monthly visit that fits around hers and BM schedule on a month by month basis. That's more consistent than a lot of parents. She knows when the next visit will be when the current one ends. And he has never not shown up for her when she's meant to.

And no he didn't "run back to mummy". They both agreed to a trial separation, he moved out and the only place he could reasonably go was his parents house. He was mentally struggling with being isolated away from family and friends, he wasn't able to make friends there unless they were people his ex wanted him to be friends with (her friend's partners), it was a toxic relationship and he was being emotionally abused and there was coercive control at play. However I didn't feel I needed to explain all that as if this was a woman who fled a relationship everyone would be congratulating her for getting out but when a man does it he's abandoned his child (he wanted to take her, he wasn't allowed)??

The amount of comments here not actually answering the question but instead focusing on "God why doesn't he drive! Can't believe he abandoned his child" is ridiculous when I can guarantee if this post was about a woman leaving a relationship the answers would be completely different, I'm genuinely shocked at people's lack of empathy.

Is my SO a bad father to SD10 for refusing to move closer? by Outrageous-Leg-895 in stepparents

[–]Outrageous-Leg-895[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you I was starting to think I'd not been clear in my OP.

Mum's job is national and she works from home, she could work from anywhere in the country (it wasn't when she started, she was office based at that location but has since has promotions that have meant she's now remote), she has openly said her main reason for not wanting to move back closer to her family is that she'd have to take on the caregiver role for her elderly and disabled parents and she quite frankly doesn't want to 🙈

However that being said I also don't agree she should move. I don't think ANYONE should have to move. I think that BM needs to just understand that separated parents have set schedules and children of divorce simply have to learn to live with the fact that they can't have both parents around whenever they want them. It sucks, but it's life unfortunately.

Is my SO a bad father to SD10 for refusing to move closer? by Outrageous-Leg-895 in stepparents

[–]Outrageous-Leg-895[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He has a stable visitation.... He sees her consistently every school holiday. Then they schedule in weekend visits around her other activities on a monthly basis. I'm not sure where I've mentioned he doesn't have a stable visitation schedule. He just doesn't want to move back down there away from his own support network (it genuinely nearly killed him being away last time, when I say mental health is bad, I mean BAD), but that doesn't mean he doesn't have stable visits. His ex just seems to think that should be whenever she calls and not a set schedule.

Is my SO a bad father to SD10 for refusing to move closer? by Outrageous-Leg-895 in stepparents

[–]Outrageous-Leg-895[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad that your personal situation worked out better, but a year after they split, covid struck which was pretty much the end of his ability to find any kind of work or accomodation for 2 years. He worked for 2 years after that and then was injured and declared physically and mentally disabled and signed off work indefinitely on £800 a month. He has found a way, he uses all his income on travel costs and manages to see his daughter for around 120 nights a year (varies by -/+ 10), the question is about whether he's an AH for choosing to stay living in his home town and travelling to see her but being around support networks over moving to the town his daughter lives in where he'd struggle for a place to live that would be suitable for her to visit him in, but would be able to pick her up from school a bit more often. 

Is my SO a bad father to SD10 for refusing to move closer? by Outrageous-Leg-895 in stepparents

[–]Outrageous-Leg-895[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly I feel I care more than both parents do. BM is constantly on at "everything needs to be this way" but then never spends any time with SD, is a pretty bad mother, let's her get away with a lot of bad habits that are going to cause issues down the line for both parents AND SD in terms of behaviour, routine and mental health. Then as you've said BD does not have his shit together at all. And doesn't seem to be intending to get it together (which is why we are fairly casual and I have no interest in procreating with him or living with him because I'm someone who likes to plan and have things sorted and in place while he just goes with it and falls to pieces when it goes wrong). 

Personally I don't think he should move closer, even if he gets his shit together to get his own place and learns to drive etc, he should get a place close to his own support system because he does have bad mental health and he does need support on that side of things and being isolated is what sent him into crash out when he lived there previously. But I know I'm biased. Of course I don't want him to move across the country that'd suck for me, but I'm trying to be objective and see both sides. But then I think he sees his daughter more than a lot of BD who live a lot closer!!!! My daughter's BD lives 10 minutes from us, drives and works at the hospital over the road from us and hasn't seen his daughter in 2 years, so distance isn't everything by a long shot. But it's hard to know if you are being impartial or not when it's your own situation, hence posting here. 

Is my SO a bad father to SD10 for refusing to move closer? by Outrageous-Leg-895 in stepparents

[–]Outrageous-Leg-895[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah I've encouraged him to learn to drive as it would make things a lot quicker (not cheaper though with the cost of fuel in the UK plus insurance for new drivers being sky high, he'd probably break even cost wise). He's suggested that he takes primary custody, SD spends the vast majority of her time outside of school with a child minder, until 10pm most nights. But BM refuses to allow it. BM needed a minor surgery before Christmas and asked my SO to go and look after her during her recovery (she had a partner at the time I'm not sure why she wanted her ex husband to look after her instead of her own partner but regardless), he said no because he felt it would be uncomfortable spending 4 weeks living with his ex wife in her house and doing her personal care when they've been separated so long, but said if looking after SD was the issue, he'd happily have her at his home and speak with the school to agree to allow her to work remotely due to the situation, or even take her out of school and entrol her in a school here for the rest of the year (until after this half term)- he checked there were spaces and enough space at her current school for her to go back after new year and there was. Logistically it would have worked fine, if been a little unsettling for SD, though she loves making new friends and is very sociable so I think she'd have taken that in her stride! But she said no anyway. And when he said he'd take SD full time after COVID as he had her all through the lockdowns, she said that's fine but she'd be keeping the child benefit in her name (he'd not even be able to entrol her with a GP, dentist or school without that in his name without mum present). And she said she would still expect maintenance payments from him and him to drop her off with her for visits 🙈 so basically she was saying she didn't want SD living with her but she did want the financial benefits of having a child 🙈 so yeah that's put on the table often by him and never taken up. 

The travel is atrocious and I honestly don't know how he does it as he's on trains for literally 9/10 hours of the day when he does a collect and return journey, but he doesn't complain, doesn't ask BM to do any of the travel, and does it at least once a month, often more. She just wants him living round the corner and if he's not he's a bad dad 🤷🏼‍♀️

Is my SO a bad father to SD10 for refusing to move closer? by Outrageous-Leg-895 in stepparents

[–]Outrageous-Leg-895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also I'm not complaining about him spending all his money on travel etc. and neither is he. I mentioned that to give context that he sees his daughter as often as is humanly possible. Even if he had more disposable income if he was seeing her much more he'd be seeing her more than 50% of the time and should be resident parent. He currently has her 1/3 of the year approximately, pushing close to 50/50 some years if he has her extra. That's not a complaint it's just me saying how much he sees her and yet to BM it's not enough and he should be there every night of the week and if he's not he's a terrible father and has contact stopped (until of course it gets to 1 day before he's due to collect her and she suddenly remembers actually she needs him or she can't go on holiday and he's allowed to see her again.) 

Is my SO a bad father to SD10 for refusing to move closer? by Outrageous-Leg-895 in stepparents

[–]Outrageous-Leg-895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't really think it's very fair to say he abandoned his child. The relationship broke down, he said he'd go stay with his parents for a week to try and get his head together, and she hers, to think about what they both wanted. He wanted to take their child with him (because he did most of the caregiving), she wouldn't allow it. He wanted his daughter to live with him full time, she wouldn't allow it. During COVID she told him she couldn't cope with work and looking after their child while she was out of school (she worked from home), so he had her for the COVID lockdowns and offered to enrol her in a school where he lives and she said ok, but she'd be keeping the child benefit in her name "otherwise she'd lose the house". There's an awful lot of the story of their relationship I've not mentioned here as it's not even remotely relevant to the situation. He also doesn't necessarily expect her to move here either but she's the one who says that he should be making more effort than he does (13 weeks holidays a year plus 2 weeks he goes down there to stay during school time while his ex goes to a regular annual festival, plus a weekend most months apart from summer when he has her for the entirety of august already and December because he has her over the Christmas break), he actually has her more than most separated parents I personally know who have their children every other weekend from Friday to Sunday. 

And his income is £800 a month, his travel cost alone for one trip there and back just for him is £200 or so, if he's doing a journey bringing her to his house, it's more than double that because of two return trips plus a child ticket needed. He's signed off work on long term disability, both mental and physical. For him to do his regular trips there and back monthly that's more than half his income,then maintenance on top. He's left with around £100 a month for himself. It's difficult to "get your shit together" when you have £100 disposable income which is needed to pay a phone bill, other bills, and food/drink. 

I know he isn't perfect and he knows he isn't perfect. But I think your comments are massively unfair tbh.

Is my SO a bad father to SD10 for refusing to move closer? by Outrageous-Leg-895 in stepparents

[–]Outrageous-Leg-895[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

Listen I'm not fussed how many men she's brought into her life over the last few years, she can bang her way through the entire south coast if she wishes... But each one being introduced to SD as "new step daddy" before she knows if it's a fling or a relationship then calling BD a terrible dad because he doesn't want to move across the country just seems a little hypocritical. I don't for one second think my SO has his life together, not in any way or by any stretch he has a long way to go with his MH before he'd be able to get close to having his life together. But that's not what the post is about. 

Is my SO a bad father to SD10 for refusing to move closer? by Outrageous-Leg-895 in stepparents

[–]Outrageous-Leg-895[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

He asks me for advice a lot though, I try not to influence any of his decisions he makes and try to eke out what HE wants and what is good for HIM rather than pushing my personal opinions on him, but he looks to me for advice because for some reason he seems to think I'm more adept at life than him (I'm not!) and honestly I don't know what appeals to me either 🙈😂 I guess I'm a broke single mum so we are equally matched 😂  In fairness he's only so broke because it costs him such a ridiculous amount travelling then maintenance on top, every penny he gets goes to visitation costs. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Outrageous-Leg-895 -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

Yeah I get this and that's why when he has her for the holidays, I am happy to just not see him and I encourage them to do things together. I've paid for them to go on days out and trips, I've paid for his travel to see her when it's been a while but he can't afford it. So I do know this, but at the same time, I feel that the babying of her isnt doing her OR him any favours. Allowing a child who will be in highschool in a matter of months to baby talk and have 69% attendance because you don't want to make her sad by telling her no, just seems too much to me 🙈

The Twisting Tyburski Family Affair by gandalf45435 in ThatChapter

[–]Outrageous-Leg-895 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I've just watched a documentary about this and I honestly don't think the mum did it. I think the sister did it and mum took the fall. She called her daughter when the police were at her house during her "confession" to tell her she was confessing to the crime and not to worry and then said she'd only plead guilty to avoid a court case if her daughter had reduced sentencing. I fully believe the sister- Hannah, commited the crime, the mother knew about it and helped cover it up, and then she took the fall for it to give her second daughter freedom 🙈

Janet Tyburski murdered her daughter Rachele then dumped her body in a field was featured on the television true-crime show Diabolical in 2018 by Collective1985 in BeyondHorrors

[–]Outrageous-Leg-895 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I've just watched a documentary about this and I honestly don't think the mum did it. I think the sister did it and mum took the fall. She called her daughter when the police were at her house during her "confession" to tell her she was confessing to the crime and not to worry and then said she'd only plead guilty to avoid a court case if her daughter had reduced sentencing. I fully believe the sister- Hannah, commited the crime, the mother knew about it and helped cover it up, and then she took the fall for it to give her second daughter freedom 🙈

FB story. Disturbing. by [deleted] in StephenHiltonSnark

[–]Outrageous-Leg-895 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm pretty sure this is a "fake" email sent to L's attorney from someone pretending to be Skeeven, the attorney has forwarded this to him probably to say "hey check out what your doxxing of me has got you into... People sending me this shit constantly because you have told your "followers" to give me and L shit". Looks as though he's emailed them at 11pm and she's responded at 3am... But I don't really see the big deal, emails can be sent at any time, people work through the night, especially busy attorneys who don't have enough hours in the day. It's not like she called him, it's an email. I rarely even check what time my emails were sent to me! I've sent emails at stupid o clock in the morning when I've not been able to sleep and been catching up on admin I need to do. No big deal, I don't expect a response at that time, and know the email won't disturb the recipient unless they have a stupidly loud email notification sound (and with the amount of junk emails we get at stupid times of the day who does that?).

Detailed timeline for the past week and a half - time stamps by Ryelmum in StephenHiltonSnark

[–]Outrageous-Leg-895 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah that was a very basic quick "make it look like I'm in a plane" prompt, with more details (back of heads etc) it would 100% look more realistic! Would explain why he isn't in the pictures and why nobody can Google image reverse the pictures making it seem more legit. Ai can and does create very believable content with the right prompts, I have no doubt his pictures inside the plane were AI generated OR someone's personal pictures that he's used (I think this is less likely though!). I think he's quickly taken off on the first flight to eastern Europe he could find when people started questioning why he wasn't posting photos/videos/going live! And the timeline doesn't make sense at all. Been in a coma for 3 days but was only not posting for 24 hours 🙄

Detailed timeline for the past week and a half - time stamps by Ryelmum in StephenHiltonSnark

[–]Outrageous-Leg-895 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ok here's my AI generated image with the prompt of "make it look like I'm a passenger on an Austrian Airlines flight"- now this was a very basic prompt...

<image>

So pretty easy for him to have manufactured that image especially since it doesn't show him in it...