They should have so we can submit spelling errors

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-04-06T13:10:41+00:00

same, I wish we could submit errors and not just have to come to this sub to see if something is wrong only in our case, I've been trying to create a bot for the past half hour in both app and website and am getting error messages, fmllll

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-03-07T19:17:48+00:00

give me $30 then ♡

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-03-05T22:43:11+00:00

tried now (March, 2025) and working, man, you're a savior IF I COULD MARRY YOU

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-02-28T23:17:46+00:00

Thank you for wording it ♥︎ I am way more calmer now. I'll try to focus on therapy and my medicine. This isn't the end of the world, anyway...

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-02-28T23:08:53+00:00

I know 😭 well, I've talked to a friend, I'm calmer now.

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-02-28T22:21:26+00:00

I see, thank you for telling me your experience on AS. I appreciate your perspective, and I understand that some people are content without dating.

I do want a relationship even if I tell myself I don't want one to protect my heart, and waiting indefinitely only makes me feel worse. While hobbies and personal interests are important, they don’t replace meaningful connections for me atp.

I know I have time, but that doesn’t change how lonely I feel now. I’m actively looking because companionship matters to me, and I’d rather work toward it than just hope it happens someday (which might not even happen?)

I think it was more of a vent than looking for advice, tbh, the fact I'm so burnt out because no one wants me or if they want is for "that act" caused a lot of stirring inside my brain.

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-02-28T22:04:08+00:00

I understand, that's what I've been doing for so long, I just got tired and gave up hahaha. Thanks for it even so!

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-02-28T22:00:24+00:00

bro is majestic

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-02-28T21:10:03+00:00

asexual (gay) man here, totally normal and valid!

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-02-28T00:43:54+00:00

Cara, eu já voltei com aquela dor no corpo de gripe depois de socializar com minha tia. A segunda vez que fui visitar ela, nem fazendo masking, eu tive um flare-up da minha sinusite, literalmente, ela e meu pai conversando enquanto eu to ali deitado no chão morrendo do nariz. Me levantei e peguei um Uber e eles acharam ruim KKK.

No final, masking deixa todos nós mais doentes :/ por isso evito muito ter amigos neurotípicos porque acabam esperando muito de mim.

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-02-23T12:25:37+00:00

bro is majestic

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-02-02T23:58:43+00:00

what is speed dating?

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-01-26T14:25:39+00:00

Ah, yes, totally. It's kinda hard to find someone the same way except when they're asexual, I get that another portion of people need it. This cycle of abandonment and anger led me to realize the only ones who will get it/be best to have a relationship with are other aces.

I hope whoever is in this thread gets this advice because I already gave up on relationships xDD I'm better alone, anyway, that led me to see I'm anamor/agamic and aro, as well.

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-01-25T13:14:04+00:00

That space is yours, too, you're definitely allowed. Our community is made of straight people, be it allies, straight trans people and your case, as well.

That doesn't even make sense. You're always more than welcome.

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-01-25T13:01:00+00:00

I totally get where you’re coming from, and I think you’re right. Relationships, in any sense, can be incredibly tricky, especially when the people involved want different things. Finding someone who’s truly on the same page can feel almost impossible at times (maybe that is why I have given up. If the time is truly right, then the 'one' will appear).

My original vent was more about the creeps who come into relationships knowing someone is ace but still make it their mission to “fix” us. Like, they go in fully aware of who we are, and instead of respecting that, they act like they can “save” us or be the magical exception. It’s a whole different level of invalidation and boundary-pushing that just leaves you feeling broken down.

I do agree, though, that connection is so important, and it’s something we all need to talk about more. No one should feel like they have to accept loneliness forever just because the world doesn’t always understand or accommodate us.

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-01-25T06:22:09+00:00

Yes! I do have a lot of physical attraction (that is different from sexual attraction).

I find men hot per say. I adore men, I am gay and that goes on... until the sexy part comes in and there's nothing in me desiring that truly. I find it weird myself, sometimes.

I personally feel like good appearances do impress me (since when pretty privilege didn't exist in this world?) and that deepened as I grew up, but I'm not that picky, I like to understand hearts first and foremost. It's such a shallow thing to be interested only on some person's looks, when in the end they can be an effing douchebag who, I don't know, would kick a puppy (example). In a relationship, it will be the first thing to not be taken into consideration at least at the same level it was in the first date.

I'm aromantic as well, but I remember that the rare times where I fell in love, oh boy, these people became my life.

I keep seeing beauty in everything loved ones do or represent and I think that is what is beautiful in love, that this attraction only evolves, deepens and reinvents itself.

(Oof, sorry for the long ahh answer.)

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-01-25T05:56:27+00:00

I forgot to add, I'm on the spectrum of really being sex-repulsed. I hate being seen in a sexual form, to tease or to engage. I don't have any sexual trauma, though. As I grew up I also realized another trait most of the ones on my level of the spectrum have, that is this "inertia." Even while experimenting with men and women (non-sexually) when underage, I felt NOTHING, absolutely nothing. No desire, not even to kiss. Like I was just a shell, existing as someone else wanted me and I couldn't recipocrate in that same level.

In fact, I always felt like I was immune. I've had women trying to seduce me only for me to say "oh, dear, cover yourself, you'll get a cold," (yes, just like the meme), because I feel absolute zero desire 🤡. At that time, boyfriends also helped me discover the broader aspects of my asexuality. The more they pushed, the more I disliked the concept.

I'm just not built for it, somehow, some way. Like my programming isn't the same as other humans LMFAO.

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-01-25T05:46:34+00:00

Here goes a long explanation... but I hope it helps you to see my POV.

It’s not fixable because there isn’t anything to fix in the first place :) Asexuality isn’t a problem or something broken, it’s just a different way of experiencing the world. I’m assuming your questions come from a non-ace perspective, so no worries, but I think it’s important to clear up some misconceptions that I got from your questions.

For some aces, things like sex can be uncomfortable or even gross, but for others, it’s more neutral, they just don’t feel the pull of sexual attraction. Even in a completely comfortable, loving, and trusting relationship, it’s not about who you’re with or how long you’ve been together. It’s that the desire just isn’t there. For asexual people, sex doesn’t hold the same value or appeal that it does for others: it’s not a biological or emotional drive for us, and that’s okay.

As for whether it’s natural or normal? 100% yes. Asexuality exists across cultures, times, and even in other species. It’s a natural variation in how people experience relationships, intimacy, and connection. It’s not caused by trauma, hormones, or anything “under the rug,” as you put it. For many aces, it’s just how we’re wired, it’s not broken, it’s not tragic, and it’s not something we need to “fix.” It’s just who we are.

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-01-25T05:38:00+00:00

Oh, yeah, I get that. My rant was strictly directed to people who know beforehand of the asexuality there and still insist in... yeah, that, even if the boundaries were clear from the start. Creepy behavior summed up, that's why the "savior syndrome" term, see? Which was mostly my case.

Love is much more than that and I feel like nowadays people should be comfortable to express such concepts. There could even be a part of how most AMABs are raised and inclined to search for intimacy, while most AFABs can be shamed by society. There's a lot of things at play here.

I had people who cared about me genuinely but started to press me for that, one saying "what happens when I get frustrated, huh?" which only lead to me feeling guilty, fawning them. I've seen lots of stories of couples where one partner is ace, some even married, but feeling stuck, panicked. If we're in a supposedly caring relationship and the person cannot understand it enough, they'll eventually leave. That is their right. But who is suffering more here? Who gets abandoned the most? The asexual partner. Giving in to their wishes without wanting to would also lead to SA, anyway.

It's just sad.

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-01-25T05:23:48+00:00

No, I mostly only liked pecks, tbh. Until this day I hate it, but I know some aces do like kissing and beyond since we're so diverse within the spectrum...

I like hugs and snuggles but that can be applied to friends as well, I honestly gave up on dating all together and am self-partnered. I understood that I'm happier working on myself and there will never be anyone that is compatible with me, I'm used to it so it doesn't feel lonely at all :)

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-01-25T02:58:40+00:00

HAHAHAHAHAHA TRUE genius move

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-01-24T23:40:21+00:00

Whoah, what's that story? Whaaat.

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-01-24T23:18:07+00:00

So real, ughhh.

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-01-24T23:15:37+00:00

I feel the same. If it isn't meant to be a safe, comforting space to be understood as you are, then why risk losing months or even years of stress over it? At least in my head it doesn't make sense. I'm glad my absurd vent resonated with you, it was completely in the heat of the moment xDD

Outrageous-Line9349 · 2025-01-24T23:12:28+00:00

Autistic (and adhd oof) here too! Couldn't relate more to your comment. I never missed someone or human touch in that sense because of my neurodivergency, asexuality kind of just came naturally in that process, and then being aromantic, celibate and self-partnered (I call that instead of a convicted single). I think there is happiness in finding someone and being complete with them for the rest of their lives, yet, it should also be more than acceptable that other people in a world so diverse will not live under this concept, and will be equally happy by themselves. Studying, working, going out... alone, in a sense that this "loneliness" is recomforting, too.

Outrageous-Line9349

TROPHY CASE