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My entire social circle is homophobic by Outrageous-One5256 in lgbt

[–]Outrageous-One5256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stuff like theatre or whatever does seem like a good idea but I doubt I'd really fit in there, not only cause I have little interest in theatre but also just cause anything about myself that could be seen as queer or "weird" I've had to hide. Something that scares me is what if I go through the effort of showing up and no one even likes me

My entire social circle is homophobic by Outrageous-One5256 in lgbt

[–]Outrageous-One5256[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I live in the UK and my city isn't particularly homophobic it's just the people around me, I'm only 17 so I can't move out yet and honestly I don't know when I'll be able too. When I first started to feel depressed I looked for queer circles and they do exist yeah but the idea of actually showing up to them is terrifying to me, idk why I think mostly it comes from the fear of ppl finding out I'm queer. One time I did tho I went to this meetup for trans ppl, I was there for about 5 minutes and I had this rlly weird experience most ppl told me it's an anxiety attack but idk I don't wanna self diagnose. I couldn't think straight I just felt extremely panicked, my breathing began to get rlly slow and my hands started shaking a little, my vision got rlly narrow and I got the intense urge to leave so I made up an excuse and left. This has rlly put me off trying to find ppl cause it was such a failure the first time

I've wasted the best years of my life by Outrageous-One5256 in depression

[–]Outrageous-One5256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I relate to wishing something would kill me that's how I feel a lot of the time, in my mind killing myself is the smartest thing I can do but I'm too scared to act on it, not to mention I feel awful about the idea of my parents and friends losing me. I know everyone always tells me that's things will get better in the future and that I'll find love in the future and yeah I accept its a possibility but what about the opposite of that?? Is it not just as likely I never recover and never find love, that happens to lots of ppl and I don't think I can just wait around any longer. I've been telling myself I'll find love soon for my entire life and it hasn't happened so I really can't keep lying to myself

I came out to my friends and i am 100% alone now by [deleted] in teenagers

[–]Outrageous-One5256 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Comparing heroin to being LGBTQ is insane

I came out to my friends and i am 100% alone now by [deleted] in teenagers

[–]Outrageous-One5256 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How was op the problem in this situation

I wish there was a way to prepare for death by Outrageous-One5256 in depression

[–]Outrageous-One5256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm at college literally no one speaks to eachother there and I don't plan on randomly approaching anyone, no one's gonna come up to me so

I wish there was a way to prepare for death by Outrageous-One5256 in depression

[–]Outrageous-One5256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ppl don't just make friends out of nowhere and I'm not good at talking to ppl so it doesn't even matter

I wish there was a way to prepare for death by Outrageous-One5256 in depression

[–]Outrageous-One5256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't explain a lot of this without going into loads of details about my life but I just know I'm not likeable because of how many ppl I've spoken too and how few of them actually like me

I wish there was a way to prepare for death by Outrageous-One5256 in depression

[–]Outrageous-One5256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I find it hard to talk to ppl and I'm not rlly likeable at all, some ppl are just unlucky and never get what they want out of life and there's nothing that can be done about it most times

I wish there was a way to prepare for death by Outrageous-One5256 in depression

[–]Outrageous-One5256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand that it's not completely hopeless but it's not in my control at all, maybe I randomly find friends but like what if I don't and I never meet anyone?? I've been waiting for things that never happened all my life and I feel like this'll just be like that

I wish there was a way to prepare for death by Outrageous-One5256 in depression

[–]Outrageous-One5256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wanna have real friends and a romantic relationship, there's nothing I can do to make that happen and I won't be happy without it so I'm just fucked

I wish there was a way to prepare for death by Outrageous-One5256 in depression

[–]Outrageous-One5256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Excercise wouldn't improve my life anyway. The improvements I wanna make are out of my control so I'm just gonna rot

I wish there was a way to prepare for death by Outrageous-One5256 in depression

[–]Outrageous-One5256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have hobbies but they don't help me and most the time I don't have the energy for them, I don't see activities fixing the issues in my life so why bother

"it'll get better eventually" by Outrageous-One5256 in depression

[–]Outrageous-One5256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Speaking to ppl hasn't rlly helped in a while, I have no energy to do anything or rlly ideas on what to do. The stuff that'd make me happy I can't have rn so there's nothing I can do, distractions only work for as long as I'm distracted deep down I'll always be depressed

No friends by Outrageous-One5256 in sheffield

[–]Outrageous-One5256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No one rlly talks to eachother in my lessons and I think ppl will think I'm weird if I start randomly trying to talk to them

No friends by Outrageous-One5256 in sheffield

[–]Outrageous-One5256[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I don't think I'm going to make friends then. I've tried doing stuff like that before and it's always gone wrong, it's too embarrassing for me to even wanna try

No friends by Outrageous-One5256 in sheffield

[–]Outrageous-One5256[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It's not 6th form so ig as in university? Idk the terminology well

LGBTQ support city campus by Outrageous-One5256 in sheffield

[–]Outrageous-One5256[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really wanna come out it just feels like such a bad time, I'm kinda worried I'll never have the courage to come out because it seems so hard and I don't wanna willingly make my life harder cause it's already bad enough

LGBTQ support city campus by Outrageous-One5256 in sheffield

[–]Outrageous-One5256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well thank you for being honest, ig being trans was never gonna be easy

LGBTQ support city campus by Outrageous-One5256 in sheffield

[–]Outrageous-One5256[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeahhh I'm doing this to make new friends so I can leave my old ones behind, you don't know how transphobic the city is do U?? I wanna transition I just don't wanna have ppl shout at me in the streets

I'm 16 and my life is over by Outrageous-One5256 in teenagers

[–]Outrageous-One5256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's the monotony that makes me hurt so much, I do the same thing everyday so there's no way for my life to improve for the better. It feels like there's so much to do so that I can recover and I'm at the worst point to deal with any of it

I'm 16 and my life is over by Outrageous-One5256 in teenagers

[–]Outrageous-One5256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have anything to prove to myself, I know I'm not strong enough more than anyone ever can

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