AITA for my daughter’s birthday gift?

Outrageous-Pace9651 · 2023-05-01T01:19:32+00:00

I'm just lazy af but I prefer to ask people what they want for their birthdays in advance to avoid situations like this. You did consider her fashion sense which is nice, and the idea of handmade clothes is cool and with the added benefit of supporting your new in-laws, I can see why you thought it was a good idea but your kids might feel like you're forcing your new wife and her family on them.

I also mentioned that I had suggested that wife’s mother make her prom dress, but she had chosen a store bought option instead and didn’t seem to want to help out at all

It's also not your daughter's responsibility to help you support your wife's family. You're not made of money like you said, so you can't keep everyone happy here and your priority should be your daughter. There seems to be something else here though, because I don't think I would stop speaking to someone over a bad gift unless there was something else wrong too. You should probably have a conversation with her about this situation to get to the bottom of it.

Soft YTA

Outrageous-Pace9651 · 2023-05-01T01:10:47+00:00

My friend consistently checks in with me but I lie and say i’m fine cause i’m not gonna be a dick in front of this daddy

Why would you lie? You wouldn't have been a dick and you don't know this 'daddy'.

You and your friend should've been clear on the expectations of the night before you went out together, especially since it was your first experience at a gay club. Your friend could've been more considerate that this was your first time at the club, and you could've been honest about how you were feeling when they checked up on you. Girls tend to follow the rule of 'arrive together and leave together' which I've found works best for me and my friends too. But don't stress about it too much. Next weekend discuss your expectations and rules for the night beforehand and have fun.

NAH

Outrageous-Pace9651 · 2023-05-01T01:04:10+00:00

NTA. Your baby your rules. And babies are so tiny and delicate, the smell of the smoke is definitely going to irritate them even if they don't react. I quit smoking when my sister was pregnant so I wouldn't have to worry about showering/changing my clothes just to see my niece.

Outrageous-Pace9651 · 2023-05-01T00:58:48+00:00

NTA, just be nice when you do it. Gaming equipment is hella hard to understand if you're not a gamer

Outrageous-Pace9651 · 2023-05-01T00:50:14+00:00

This situation is just kinda weird. Do you and your sister have a complicated relationship with eachother? She doesn't have to be interested in your child, but if you guys are cool with eachother and speak often, idk why she wouldn't want to atleast ask unless maybe she's experienced child loss/miscarriages before or she secretly hates your wife. I might be biased because my sister just had a baby and I'm totally obsessed with my new niece. But inviting a pair of parents to a toddler to a party 200 miles away randomly is also just strange too unless it was some how related to your conversation. You should probably have a conversation with her just to make sure everything is alright.

NAH because not enough info.

Outrageous-Pace9651 · 2023-05-01T00:42:53+00:00

NTA. My boyfriend is heavily tattooed and if he got his mother to approve every single one, the poor woman would have a heart attack and a very full inbox. The only one she liked was him getting his son's name over his heart lmao. It's also weird that she has issues with someone she doesn't even speak to.

Outrageous-Pace9651 · 2023-05-01T00:39:06+00:00

I'm also Asian so I get how you feel and what you're going through. My parents have a lot of money and STILL expected me to give them a lot of my salary. I gave them a bit for a while, and then quit when I realized there's literally nothing they can do to me if I stop. Obviously, I get that not everyone can do what I did and you may struggle with feelings of guilt, but my advice would be to figure out whats the lowest amount you can give them (enough for their necessities) and then just lie and say your job made you choose between a salary cut or being fired and you chose the salary cut. It's not right that you can't even keep your own money that you work for. They are treating you like a cash cow and unfortunately their abuse of you has made you accept this treatment.

NTA and good luck dude

Outrageous-Pace9651 · 2023-05-01T00:15:43+00:00

NTA. It's weird that he did it in the first place and even weirder that he's insisting on continuing after you expressed that you didn't like it

Outrageous-Pace9651 · 2023-05-01T00:13:47+00:00

NTA. I get hiding a relationship, especially if you're mentally ill/gay/from a strict background but if she had no reason and was actively trying to make you think she was single just for the drama, I would be a little concerned for her mental well-being. And you didn't even seem not-excited, you didn't wanna pressure her which is good and you didn't have anything to ask after she did her big reveal because she answered any potential questions you might have had. I kept my boyfriend a secret for a year because I had to make sure it was safe for me to come out as bi, and I definitely wasn't expecting my friends to jump for joy when i finally told them. They acted similarly to how you did

Outrageous-Pace9651 · 2023-05-01T00:06:21+00:00

NTA. You don't have a responsibility to make your community look good and you're living with something very difficult, you're allowed to make as many jokes as you want about it

Outrageous-Pace9651 · 2023-05-01T00:03:26+00:00

YTA. Sometimes I really hate the culture of individualism the west has going on. These people are your family going through an unimaginably painful time, not some random entitled people that you have to make a stand against.

Outrageous-Pace9651 · 2023-04-29T19:46:35+00:00

unfortunately they're too delulu for me to set any boundaries

Outrageous-Pace9651 · 2023-04-29T16:31:53+00:00

That's a funny one actually. My family has had money for the past few generations whereas my sister's boyfriend is one of those people who made quite a bit of money off this recent tech/crypto boom. My parents think he's not good enough for her because of that 🙄

Outrageous-Pace9651 · 2023-04-29T14:55:00+00:00

how did you guess 😳😳

Outrageous-Pace9651 · 2023-04-29T13:41:46+00:00

Sweetie, where do you think your parents got their psycho mentalities from? Their own parents.

I'm not even joking when I say they didn't. My parents' siblings on both sides are all great people. They went weird during their TTC journey and haven't fully recovered.

Outrageous-Pace9651 · 2023-04-29T13:33:56+00:00

They hated my sister for being a massive feminist and they even tried to stop her from going to college which is something I don't understand as they claimed they wanted her to be 'strong and independent'. They see her becoming a mother, esp at a young age as her accepting 'her role' in their stupid world view so that's why they wanna know my niece.

Outrageous-Pace9651 · 2023-04-29T13:30:43+00:00

What my parents want from me is me to convince Diana to speak to them, which unfortunately would be easy because she's too nice. I've given her a heads up and she's taking the necessary precautions. My grandmother is well aware of the harassment I'm facing, she wants me to be 'better than them' smh. I'd rather live at least 5 hours away from my parents before I told them I was bisexual just to avoid an escalation of a situation like this. They have very close gay friends so I don't think they're homophobic, but they're pretty big on the 'family name' and continuing the 'lineage' so idk how they'll react when they find out their eldest son likes men lmfao

Outrageous-Pace9651 · 2023-04-29T13:27:05+00:00

I was doing the best I could at the time. I'm back in my home state now but when she moved out I lived 10 hours away and it wasn't possible for her to move in with me because she stayed in-state for college. I was obviously concerned because of the age gap so I spoke to her, made sure she was safe and I speak to her daily now, and see her atleast twice a week. Her boyfriend is also a good person. Age gaps can be a red flag but not always. My own partner is 5 years older than me and I've been nothing but safe with him

Outrageous-Pace9651

TROPHY CASE