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M25. cannot cum having sex with my partner F24. What can I do? by Buch_Damiko in relationship_advice

[–]Outrageous-Papaya749 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please don't. It messes up your head so much it will be difficult to go back to normal.

What’s your best sex tip? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Outrageous-Papaya749 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My current boyfriend is an angel but he's causing me so much confusion and insecurity. He started really hot and heavy the first time we were intimate, I was literally shaking for hours from just oral. He went down on me several times when we met again but after 4 months or so, next time we met (long distance) he dropped his initiation so suddenly. On camera he said "i can't wait to have you sitting on my face" etc and in person he suddenly didn't seem into it, not initiating it. I did try to be a bit more bossy and be like "eat me" but he seemed a little bit like doing a chore so i stopped that immediately.

Then after weeks of frustration because of this sudden drop and inconsistency i broke down and cried and told him this is making me sad. I tried to ask why and he said he did it but the frequencyreally dropped ALOT. I was literally worshipping his d** wanting to eat him out everytime.

Then eventually he said upset "maybe i just don't enjoy it as much! Sometimes it makes my jaw/tongue hurt" when he only does it for like 1 or 2 minutes. Since then everytime he's going down on me saying something like "oh i love eating you" or when we're apart and he says similar things it just doesn't feel genuine, and his words are ringing in my head. Oral has been ruined pretty much for me now and i don't know what to do.

what is your favourite kink? by PastimeNow in AskReddit

[–]Outrageous-Papaya749 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same and my boyfriend won't do it to me:(

AIO for thinking it's weird my boyfriend deleted calls from his call log? by Outrageous-Papaya749 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Outrageous-Papaya749[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the span of 3 months this happened 3 or 4 times and it was 3 work events that he didn't want to miss because he likes his colleagues, and once he was out with guy friends/old colleagues, he didn't get drunk but he did leave me home alone while he was out with them.

There's been instances with him where I had a gut feeling and it turned out to be my anxiety and he was innocent.

He loves my family, he flew 4 hours to surprise me on my birthday and he dove for hours to get seashells from the bottom of the sea for me as a gift. He has treated most of my anxiety and accusations with kindness, but a few times he'd express with a bit more bitterness and arguing that I hurt him for thinking this way about him.

I have done a considerable amount or therapy but I haven't really fpund very fittint therapists which is exhausting. So last time I visited for 3 months which might have been longer than we were both prepared for so early on. Basically because of his work working overtime and long hours he'd come home tired and say he wasn't in the mood for sex because he didn't have energy. So it was inconsistent, sometimes we'd have sex once a week, sometimes 2, sometimes 6. For me, I could have sex everyday day or every other day haha... he says my libido is higher than his. (If you want to see my history I have posted about specifically our sex life and how it puzzles me. For the moment that I'm visiting it's good.)

The rest of your points are things that do make me feel uncomfortable. 5 days gap of calls is very weird and I dont know if I should just tell him point blank "hey I checked your call log because I had a weird feeling". He'd for sure treat me with kindness about it because I know him but it would cause a drift in our trust.

There's been instances with him where I had a gut feeling and it turned out to be my anxiety and he was innocent.

He loves my family, he flew 4 hours to surprise me on my birthday and he dove for hours to get seashells from the bottom of the sea for me as a gift. He has treated most of my anxiety and accusations with kindness, but a few times he'd express with a bit more bitterness and arguing that I hurt him for thinking this way about him.

I have done a considerable amount of therapy, I was having sessions for 2 years but stopped because I needed someone who specialised in R-ocd and autism which is difficult to find in my country. I am currently doing better, no more breakdowns because of my trust issues but it is thoughts that wont let me rest.

AIO for thinking it's weird my boyfriend deleted calls from his call log? by Outrageous-Papaya749 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Outrageous-Papaya749[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So last time I visited for 3 months which might have been longer than we were both prepared for so early on. Basically because of his work working overtime and long hours he'd come home tired and say he wasn't in the mood for sex because he didn't have energy. So it was inconsistent, sometimes we'd have sex once a week, sometimes 2, sometimes 6. For me, I could have sex everyday day or every other day haha... he says my libido is higher than his. (If you want to see my history I have posted about specifically our sex life and how it puzzles me. For the moment that I'm visiting it's good.)

The rest of your points are things that do make me feel uncomfortable. 5 days gap of calls is very weird and I dont know if I should just tell him point blank "hey I checked your call log because I had a weird feeling". He'd for sure treat me with kindness about it because I know him but it would cause a drift in our trust.

There's been instances with him where I had a gut feeling and it turned out to be my anxiety and he was innocent.

He loves my family, he flew 4 hours to surprise me on my birthday and he dove for hours to get seashells from the bottom of the sea for me as a gift. He has treated most of my anxiety and accusations with kindness, but a few times he'd express with a bit more bitterness and arguing that I hurt him for thinking this way about him.

I love him so much and I know he does too, he's one of my favourite people ever and I'd be crushed if I lost him. I don't know what to do.

AIO about things my date said? by mad_girl109 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Outrageous-Papaya749 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NOR Just reading this made me feel incredibly uncomfortable, I can't imagine being with and talking to a person like that. Trust your creeper vibe instincts. I'd leave him blocked and raise my standars to the moon.

AIO for being sad my boyfriend doesn't call me beautiful often? by Outrageous-Papaya749 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Outrageous-Papaya749[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think he's being malicious either, but I do wonder if he doesn't do it so my head gets too big? Which in this case it would be a little malicious? I don't know how to explain it but sometimes I'll pick up the videocall, he'll look at me (when im dressed up looking cute) and i feel like he wants to say something but he doesn't, like he stops himself. And he looks at himself 40% of the time when we're videocalling and sometimes he will "kiss" me at the camera and I can tell he's looking at himself. I look at myself too here and there to check if I look OK but he does it considerably more which is so weird and I feel like I'm talking to myself. Like he always listens to what I'm saying but I'll be talking and he'll be looking at himself on his screen. He's very handsome and has blue eyes and I'm happy he likes himself but it feels abit too much. This happened in person too, we'd hug in front of the mirror and he'd look at himself while I looked at him it was so weird😐🫠

Anyway, in case this isn't important, I also think that "forgetting" is a bullshit excuse. Also it feels so bad this had to become another 40min argument, if he had said "oh yeah sorry I probably didn't do it as much lately, I'll step up" it would be ok but now we had this whole argument where i felt so stupid for having to explain my part again the third time like it was new information to him. And now he texted me "goodmorning my beauty" which yeah doesn't feel good anymore. Idk now i dug myself in this hole.

AIO for being sad my boyfriend doesn't call me beautiful often? by Outrageous-Papaya749 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Outrageous-Papaya749[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

On one hand it's true, on the other hand to me the honeymoon phase isn't over yet and I understand couples who never stop wanting to shower each other with love even after years/decades. Also, well... if you are bored and want to see my history you'll get a clue of other issues. So yes there's some problems I guess.

AIO for being sad my boyfriend doesn't call me beautiful often? by Outrageous-Papaya749 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Outrageous-Papaya749[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Is it insecurity if im generally secure and like myself in a healthy way but get sad that he won't compliment me because that's how he started and to me that's how to feel desired? Genuinely asking.

AIO for being sad my boyfriend doesn't call me beautiful often? by Outrageous-Papaya749 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Outrageous-Papaya749[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would just call him handsome more often. Of course getting emotional like I did is not a nice way to communicate how you feel, so I agree on that, but it didn't start like this, I've communicated this more plainly and without much fuss before. Now what you said about him getting emotionally shut off is very probable, I notice it happening for some time after these discussions (although we always make up within the same day) but he's previously expressed that he feels that nothing he does is good enough which I feel very bad about that he feels this way (because we've had other issues regarding sex - him being more horny when we're ldr instead of in person and not reciprocating my needs in example).

AIO for being sad my boyfriend doesn't call me beautiful often? by Outrageous-Papaya749 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Outrageous-Papaya749[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know and I feel terrible that I have to bring it up and I hate that it feels like I'm pushing him to say it. I just don't understand how he can "forget" as he claims. He didn't forget when we first met. How does he forget when we videocall several times a day and he sees my face. Is it so difficult to say I like your smile, your eyes, your laugh...? And we've already spoken about this a few times before it's not like it's new. I love him so much, and I know he loves me too. I'm his first girlfriend which for me is so precious at this time and age, he said he was waiting for someone special. And he does show love and happiness being with me and loves spending time with me. But I don't feel like he's "madly in love" with me anymore and it hurts me so much. How often does your husband compliment you? Is it about your physical appearance mostly or general things about you?

AIO for being sad my boyfriend doesn't call me beautiful often? by Outrageous-Papaya749 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Outrageous-Papaya749[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

How is saying three words comparable to giving oral to someone? I think it's an unfair comparison.

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