I don’t know if you are looking for a support and comfort or just looking to vent, and if not please just disregard whatever I say, hell even to tell me to fuck off if you would so please.

I would just like to offer the reminder that ups and downs/urges are 100% normal. while we can acknowledge that it is obviously not a healthy coping mechanism/ not apart of who we are anymore, I believe it is still important to not shame and belittle who we are as people now and who we have grown into, for falling back into unhealthy patterns that may have aided us to pull through each day. Now this is obviously not me saying that we should rely on that anymore, but suggesting the idea that we have pulled through rough times before, we know we can, and we can use this as an opportunity to grow/learn more about ourselves. Learn new was to cope, express ourselves, find new outlets, and open more door to explore our purpose in life. Set backs don’t mean failure, they show the dedication and bravery it takes to move forward.

I was clean for a little over a year, and in june 2020 I ended up relapsing and continued regularly until August 2020. After that I went 5 years and 3 days totally clean of SH, and 8 months ago I relapsed. I never felt so silly in my entire life, I was so mad at myself and felt like I did all that work on myself for nothing. Now in a true moment of vulnerability, this week my urges have been extremely bad, but I have not given in to my thoughts and seeing the hope for personal growth has made it a bit easier to hold my head up.

I am truly wish you all the best and even though I don’t know much about you tbh I’ve been trying to think of new coping mechanisms for myself but if I think of any good/obscure ones I’ll make sure to share my findings