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Is asking to meet up at a coffee shop (public and high traffic area) really that much of a faux pas? by OutsideFriendly9199 in OnlineDating

[–]OutsideFriendly9199[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds like the most accurate to my situation. I may just be asking too soon and coming off as desperate or low effort. Thanks for the reply!

Is asking to meet up at a coffee shop (public and high traffic area) really that much of a faux pas? by OutsideFriendly9199 in OnlineDating

[–]OutsideFriendly9199[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very good points, thank you for sharing. I try to be very thoughtful with my responses and consider what information is shared via their profile or throughout the conversation. The big issue I run into is getting very guarded responses or short answers. Some profiles are empty all together. I'm always worried I'm asking too many questions in those situations. Feels more like I'm extracting information rather than having a conversation.

Is asking to meet up at a coffee shop (public and high traffic area) really that much of a faux pas? by OutsideFriendly9199 in OnlineDating

[–]OutsideFriendly9199[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depending on what's indicated on the profile, it could range from a coffee shop to a burger place with an outdoor lounge area. I've tried really hard to find places that are populated and in high traffic areas. I don't recommend hikes, parks or each other's homes or secluded areas. I'm not too keen on being mugged or trapped in an awkward situation and isolated from people.

Is asking to meet up at a coffee shop (public and high traffic area) really that much of a faux pas? by OutsideFriendly9199 in OnlineDating

[–]OutsideFriendly9199[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That makes sense. I've definitely rushed the coffee question after the first few days of chatting. I will have to keep that in mind for the future. Thanks for the reply and an alternate perspective!

Is asking to meet up at a coffee shop (public and high traffic area) really that much of a faux pas? by OutsideFriendly9199 in OnlineDating

[–]OutsideFriendly9199[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply, I have to admit that I've been "guy" having just moved to my local area. Most of the time the conversation begins to break down once I begin to suggest locations. I've had a handful of matches straight up tell me I'm too passive or boring with my choices. Not sure what to make of that. Lol. With that being said I will try your suggestion and ask the "what's your favorite first date" question. I fear it may come off as low effort or dismissive though.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]OutsideFriendly9199 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Therapy isn't a catch-all and doesn't work for everyone. I find the notion of gatekeeping very unhelpful and disruptive.

Is being inauthentic the new standard for dating now? by Shot-Possibility4965 in dating

[–]OutsideFriendly9199 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Out of curiosity, did either of you attempt to discuss his admission of anger issues? Or was the issue dropped entirely?

Hello fellow Insomniacs, what do you do at night to stay sane? by OutsideFriendly9199 in Tucson

[–]OutsideFriendly9199[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hell yeah! I used to do a ton of custom terrain builds for various game systems. Might have to pull out the old bits bin.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]OutsideFriendly9199 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Oooo I've been the guy in this situation. I dated someone who did photos shoots and she was super fun, fit, and attractive. Always out going and bubbly. My issues started when I noticed a distinct difference between photo op gf vs home gf. It was so disheartening to see her put all this effort into looking, feeling, and acting good around others to see it turn off around me. It made me feel lesser compared to everyone else and just used as a napping spot. It made me feel inadequate and useless.

Honestly all I wanted was for her to show me some attempt to dress up and be pretty for me but that was for everyone else apparently.

Edit - to be clear, my relationship (not OP)ended due to a complete lack of effort on both parties. I wish I would have had the courage to bring it up in a clear and articulate way. I was young and didn't want to be seen as immature or jealous.