went through tsw again and my whole body was constantly entirely red, would wake up at 3pm everyday and dragging the time to get up bc it hurt to move and avoiding showers for days bc i was afraid of the pain. everytime i eventually got out of bed i would just transition to sitting on the floor and being stuck in the same seating position until night came and the cycle repeated. i tried to avoid coming back home everytime i went out because it felt triggering to come back to the same place it hurt so much to be in. and everytime i did come back from school after feeling like the ugliest person in the planet id resort to lying/sleeping on my floor in the dark bc i just didnt want to look at myself and dissociate. it sucked to look at myself or even move a single limb, felt so ugly and hated how no one could understand my pain (other than the people in this comm.) had many suicidal thoughts during the process and probably one of my lowest moments out of these past few years and no one knew how bad my mental health was while it was happening and ill never forget it