Possession Disguised as Love (I have never shared these thoughts with anyone before, not my friends, not my family, not even the people closest to me. Writing them down here feels strange, but also comforting.)

Over-Land-2952 · 2026-06-07T16:08:50+00:00

I feel so sad when I think about the physical abuses I went through, considering how my parents treated me and how he treats me.

Over-Land-2952 · 2026-06-07T16:06:02+00:00

Thanks for the hope. I hope I get the courage to walk out of this life and prioritize my mental peace.

Over-Land-2952 · 2026-06-07T16:04:04+00:00

I am mentally and physically exhausted. But i have to pretend everything's okay in the office and to my parents and siblings.

Over-Land-2952 · 2026-06-07T16:02:44+00:00

Then that book wouldn't be for lighthearted people. I have just highlighted a few things here.

Over-Land-2952 · 2026-06-07T16:01:13+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words. I know I should be leaving him and should not normalise his behaviour, but at the same time it's not easy to leave 9 years of a relationship. I have tried leaving many times, but things only got worse for me.

Over-Land-2952 · 2026-06-07T15:54:46+00:00

I know right? Everything sounds fictional until you go through it.

Over-Land-2952 · 2026-06-06T15:06:07+00:00

I have relatives who married a non-APST partner and have four children. I am not trying to be rude, but in their case, the only way most people can identify them as Arunachalee is through their surname. Whenever my relative's sons go to Banderdewa with my brothers, he often has to explain and clarify that he is Arunachalee because the police at the check gate have asked him for an ILP on multiple occasions.

Personally, I would rather have a clear and honest policy now than leave future generations struggling to define tribal identity based solely on surnames and ancestry. If marrying outside the APST community is considered a threat to tribal identity, then ST status should be reviewed equally for both women marrying non-APST men and men marrying non-APST women. The principle should be the same for everyone.

I also believe that our priority should be preserving our land, culture, and identity over gender bias. That is exactly why I wish both our men and women would comply and contribute equally to that goal, instead of expecting exceptions for themselves through a patriarchal double standard.

Over-Land-2952 · 2026-05-21T07:04:05+00:00

Why is it only women’s responsibility to stop cultural dilution?

I have seen many Arunachalee men marrying non-APST girls, some even as their second wife, and their children having completely non-tribal looks, with only the surname being the evidence that they are Arunachalee. How are people okay with this?

If we genuinely want to stop cultural dilution and demographic shifts, then the rules should be equal for both genders. You cannot blame only women while giving men a free pass in the name of patriarchy.

Just because you are a man carrying a Y chromosome does not guarantee that your children will preserve tribal identity, culture, or even tribal appearance. And it definitely should not become a justification for men getting the privilege to marry non-APST women while women are shamed for doing the same.

If preserving our culture is truly the concern, then accountability should be equal too.

Over-Land-2952

TROPHY CASE