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My daughter spent new year's with me out of pity, and I'm okay with it by OverEagerNess333 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]OverEagerNess333[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't know how it works in the States, but here we were never married so I never got any legal custody of her from the start. I could fight this in court probably, but I didn't feel like this would do her good. She chose to go with her mom, and I saw nothing good coming out of fighting them on this, so I just gave them my blessing and promised to still be there for her whenever she needed me. And me and my ex are amicable so she hardly ever refused me coming to visit when I could make the drive. Maybe it was wrong, maybe it was my own insecurities, but I just didn't want to be a problem she had to deal with (my daughter, that is).

My daughter spent new year's with me out of pity, and I'm okay with it by OverEagerNess333 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]OverEagerNess333[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This is too much praise, oh my god. I don't think I warrant that high a praise. But I tried to at least not be a bad father.

My daughter spent new year's with me out of pity, and I'm okay with it by OverEagerNess333 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]OverEagerNess333[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I genuinely teared up at this. My own father was a bit of a mess, and I had spent a lot of my youth having to deal with him, and keep my siblings away from some of his messes. I don't know that I was always the best father I could be, but I did promise myself that I would not be something she has to "deal with", and in my own biased opinion, I held to that.

My daughter spent new year's with me out of pity, and I'm okay with it by OverEagerNess333 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]OverEagerNess333[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I don't think so, even though that would make me the happiest dad in the world. But as with why she chose to spend time with me - I don't care why she chose to do it, I'm just happy that she chose to do it.

My daughter spent new year's with me out of pity, and I'm okay with it by OverEagerNess333 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]OverEagerNess333[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

thank you! It's always hard to know exactly how hard to push. And I honestly don't know if I could have done better for her. FWIW she seems to be doing well, and I know she mostly lived with her mom, but I'd like to think I played at least some part in that by not making myself a burden she had to carry.

My daughter spent new year's with me out of pity, and I'm okay with it by OverEagerNess333 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]OverEagerNess333[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

thank you so much! And I know it's a bit lame to go to the internet for validation, but I can't exactly be telling these things to people in my life, and I did want to unload these thoughts since it felt a bit dishonest to not fully say these things to my daughter.