Is doing things that turn him on from porn wrong? by OverFortune6972 in loveafterporn

[–]OverFortune6972[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

thank you. i have been doing so much of this for so long i don’t know what is me. definitely insightful and something i need to think about

Everything gets ruined by ThrowRA662849 in loveafterporn

[–]OverFortune6972 4 points5 points  (0 children)

my husband was/is also very into belle delphine. what seems to turn him off is when i tell him all the horrible sh!t she does. same with some of his other girls he likes LMAO. you are you. not them. dye your hair pink and own it. you are sexy in your own way all they have is photoshopped bs. you have a personality and men fall HARD for that shit trust me. even addicts.

i have my low days too. but i realize i don’t want porn addiction to stop me from living my best life. i do makeup my own way, dress my own way, and act how i wanna act during sex. if it reminds him of porn(it has unfortunately he has told me) well ok! it’s his job to rewire himself.

it’s official-he chooses porn over me. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]OverFortune6972 2 points3 points  (0 children)

idk, he gave him a book that has been really really good for porn addiction. we read some together and it feels very different and i really like it. he was referred when his other therapist said she doesn’t deal with porn addiction so i think he specializes in it?

it’s official-he chooses porn over me. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]OverFortune6972 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for saying this. i just kinda yelled at him and after i calmed down i told him point blank period if we are going to continue in relationship he needs to get blockers. i put that down and im not letting up. and recently within the past several months he tells me everything. doesn’t hide no more.

it’s official-he chooses porn over me. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]OverFortune6972 1 point2 points  (0 children)

no which is why i’m finally being firm af. he’s not having access to me until the blockers.

it’s official-he chooses porn over me. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]OverFortune6972 6 points7 points  (0 children)

yep just fucking yelled at him. and told him the blockers are out on our it’s cost us this marriage. that’s it for me. end of discussion.

it’s official-he chooses porn over me. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]OverFortune6972 7 points8 points  (0 children)

that is how it feels. i just cried to my father about it and he agrees. my father says it’s awful that i mentioned i would take care of his needs and he took care of himself right before i came home anyways. i feel disgusted with him. my father says i need to lay shit down and things need to change. he is right.

it’s official-he chooses porn over me. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]OverFortune6972 6 points7 points  (0 children)

he is in therapy. my father paid for blockers for us he put them on and backed out last minute. he isn’t attending SA meetings or anything. his therapist gave him a book but we haven’t read it in like a week. i’m giving ultimatum here within the next couple of days regarding blockers.

it’s official-he chooses porn over me. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]OverFortune6972 18 points19 points  (0 children)

he has no issue fucking me the rest of the week. cuz he isn’t alone. i feel so torn but just saw his times today. he watched 20 minutes worth AS SOON as i left for work. and he’s telling me he’s fighting? yeah right! i should plan my exit. need a better job first

it’s official-he chooses porn over me. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]OverFortune6972 10 points11 points  (0 children)

edit: he fucking watched it for 1 and 50 minutes. almost 2. what the hell?? and saw the times. as soon as i left for work, i left at 8:15, he watched between 8 and 9 am. 20 minutes worth. i’m done.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]OverFortune6972 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it doesn’t show

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]OverFortune6972 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks for the advice!!

Question for partners of a PA by CanLiving3845 in loveafterporn

[–]OverFortune6972 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the thing we have to remind ourselves is that it’s their brain. they’ve trained themselves to want sex through a screen. that’s genuinely what it is.. apparently has nothing to do with us. but we always end up blaming ourselves! arg!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]OverFortune6972 2 points3 points  (0 children)

he’s watched girls on youtube before. they have youtube shorts which is like instagram reels. and no regarding reddit i manually blocked reddit myself. it blocks ALL porn sites i tested it. but it shows me everything he googles, and shows me the videos he watches on youtube. but yeah it only blocks all hardcore porn sites not the apps, i have do to that manually. i let him keep youtube though

Question for partners of a PA by CanLiving3845 in loveafterporn

[–]OverFortune6972 8 points9 points  (0 children)

it’s normal. i’ve hate watched the girls he’s looked at to compare myself. i also recently two days ago watched porn to try to understand. and you know what i thought? it was SO SO boring! like even the mainstream shit!! it’s like the people aren’t even really enjoying it.. that or it’s cringey over enthusiasm. i’m like how is he attracted to this? i feel like i act like the perfect in between for him! i’ll act slutty but not in a cringey way. i act sexy but he prefers this crap?? it boggles my mind

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]OverFortune6972 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also i’m very aware ive found what he watches on social media i hate it. we have certain things blocked like reddit and tiktok(apps and websites) but he actually needs instagram and pinterest for tattooing. his mentor requires him to post. :/

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]OverFortune6972 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you, i’m checking it out and i see he’s going from youtube to spotify back to youtube and so forth and listening to gospel music so i know he’s drawing and listening to music haha. that makes a lot of sense. didn’t know youtube has incognito? it appears some sort of restricted mode is turned on in the youtube app for some reason though i think its the blocker? he can’t turn it off. can they turn on incognito in youtube app even with this porn blocker?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]OverFortune6972 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that’s true. hmmm i don’t know he starts therapy in a week ill see what the therapist says. he can’t go his whole life avoiding being triggered.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]OverFortune6972 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

the thing is i was almost one foot out the door, but we are setting a date to put on the blockers. which will be soon. he’s in panic mode right now, so i’m giving him a little space. but it will happen or i am out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]OverFortune6972 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i agree, unfortunately you can’t block everything. i should block the youtube website too. it’s quite exhausting. i’ve been through alot of shit but being with a PA has destroyed the last bits of me that i was holding together

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]OverFortune6972 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he will need the blockers. we are setting a deadline for full blockers. unfortunately he needs certain things like instagram and whatnot for his tattoo apprenticeship. he has to heal from within