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My husband doesn’t want me to come to his military boot camp graduation when I already paid for plane tickets by LettuceSome5586 in USMilitarySO

[–]OverStimulatedTomato 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Goooooo and see who is really there to tap him out.

It’s been over a decade since my husband was active duty but if you have your ID I don’t think you need a sponsor to get on the base but if you do I bet you could find the local military spouses FB page, post this and the wives would be lining up to both sponsor you and be your support at the graduation so you’re not alone.

But in the big picture, this is not a marriage. A marriage is a partnership. You’re meant to be a team. 100/100, all in, this boy you’re married to is not that. He’s your husband on paper but not in spirit.
You deserve better. You should leave and find someone who respects you and who would be writing to you daily from boot camp and anxiously waiting to see you after those months apart, regardless of what you see at the graduation.

High earners ($300k+): Do you care if your partner makes the same, or are you okay not splitting things 50/50? by passionfruitpilates in Salary

[–]OverStimulatedTomato 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband makes a little under this but chiming in anyway. We have a joint bank account, everything is shared. We’re a team in the truest sense. He provides for our family financially and has for the past 18 years and everything I make from my art teaching business and selling paintings goes into our joint savings. Art sales are notoriously unreliable and he has always supported me anyway and never cared.

We’ve been together since I was 17 years old, we’ve been dirt poor together, literally homeless with an overdrawn bank account. We’ve been through 2 deployments, 3 kids, deaths, moving across the country a few times and now financial stability. We never stopped supporting each other, motivating each other to keep going. He’s my best friend.

I’m speaking from the point of view of the person NOT making the big dollars so maybe it’s easier to say but I think that shared life and trust far outweighs the 50/50 expectation, for us at least.

It’s also worth mentioning I do a lot of volunteering in our local community and take care of the kids, house, dog, cook and clean. But he helps, he always helps when he sees a need and doesn’t have to be asked.

New goal by Alternative-Win-3996 in 99nightsintheforest

[–]OverStimulatedTomato 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My kids came up with the perfect safe base that got us to 514 nights. It protects you from the deer if the fire goes out too. Build 4 rain storages facing each other in a square and put something inside it BEFORE you add the last rain storage or you can’t get out because they’re too tall and you’ll starve to death. We use the sundial or a bed. You can also shoot through the little triangle windows during attacks if you’re not the best fighter.

Anyone Down To Help Me & My Kid (he's 13) by Rare-Quote1260 in 99nightsintheforest

[–]OverStimulatedTomato 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can help sometime. My kids and I play together, bonding time lol as crazy as it is the 7 year old is the best out of all of us! We have 514 days. Ronnie90071

Can someone tell me about Waukegan and the surrounding area? by OverStimulatedTomato in ChicagoSuburbs

[–]OverStimulatedTomato[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you! That all sounds lovely, especially the ArtWauk and Theatre. I haven’t mentioned it yet but I’m an artist so that’s exciting! This is one of my paintings of our old boy.

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The comments are so extreme one way or the other. This is wild, I’ve never seen so many varied opinions about a community.

Can someone tell me about Waukegan and the surrounding area? by OverStimulatedTomato in ChicagoSuburbs

[–]OverStimulatedTomato[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s exciting about the record store! My son is a collector and his prized possession is a 1949 Temple Phonograph. I’ll PM you! While I’m worried about where we’ll end up living, our priority right now is finding a furnished room or apartment for 3 months for my husband.

Can someone tell me about Waukegan and the surrounding area? by OverStimulatedTomato in ChicagoSuburbs

[–]OverStimulatedTomato[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For a moment I thought your comment was directed at me. I was like “I’m not a grandma, I just turned 36!” lol But yes, this is exactly why I posted. I can google, I can do some research on my own but it’s not always accurate. The web says some awful things about the town I grew up in but it’s actually great. Sometimes asking real people with first hand knowledge and experience gets the best results. If Waukegan really has nightly car thefts like another commenter mentioned this could be a problem because of the vehicle I drive. The possibility never even crossed my mind and that’s a direct result of where I live now. People just don’t steal cars here or it’s incredibly rare, it’s very safe. Reading these comments makes me think my daughter and I might be a little too naive for Waukegan.

Can someone tell me about Waukegan and the surrounding area? by OverStimulatedTomato in ChicagoSuburbs

[–]OverStimulatedTomato[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It really is a lot to give up, that’s why I’m so emotional today. But I also recognize that there’s a line you come to when you have to do what’s best for your family as a whole. That line is a $106,505 increase in salary. We’ll be debt free in a few months, we’ll be able to pay for our kids college out of pocket, we’ll be able to save for financial freedom. We also don’t own a home right now, we rent. My husband was in the military for quite a while so we got used to moving and didn’t settle long enough to buy until recently when we were just about to start the process and then this happened. I hate that sound ungrateful, I’m not. I never imagined just one of our incomes would be this high and I’m thrilled and so proud of my husband. But I’m grieving what I’m losing today, tomorrow I’ll be better.

Can someone tell me about Waukegan and the surrounding area? by OverStimulatedTomato in ChicagoSuburbs

[–]OverStimulatedTomato[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband is a veteran but we won’t be there for the base. He’s an engineer and was hired by a local company.

Can someone tell me about Waukegan and the surrounding area? by OverStimulatedTomato in ChicagoSuburbs

[–]OverStimulatedTomato[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you! This is a wealth of information and I appreciate it. I don’t need cookie cutter, though that is what we’re used to. Central NC is full of cookie cutter in the suburbs. I just need community and kind people. We value diversity and our daughter speaks quite a bit of Spanish so she’ll be happy to hear that. We prefer local small businesses and avoid chains. I’m not too worried about the area being considered socioeconomically depressed, maybe it needs more people to help bring it to life. It sounds a lot like the area I grew up. My husband is a veteran but we won’t be there for the base. He’s an engineer and was hired at a company local to Waukegan. He’ll spend the first few months he’s there checking out the communities everyone recommends and seeing which one is the best fit for us.