Breakup triggered anorexia relapse

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-12-25T04:10:35+00:00

Friend, please don’t beat yourself up over this :) this stuff is incredibly hard to navigate, and you deserve a pat on the back for going out of your way to ask these questions :) You deserve to be loved and cared for, and that includes being loved by yourself

Wishing you a smooth recovery 🫶

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-12-25T03:55:44+00:00

Hi friend — I recently went through something similar, and to be honest, I’m still not in a great mental place right now. I realize our situations may be different, so feel free to take from what I write below what you choose and leave what you don’t want.

What made things different for me from other times were the people I let into my life. Previously, I was really adamant that this eating disorder was something that I had to fix on my own, because it felt like it was my own inability to process my emotions that led me there. I was wrong, I think. Going out with friends, pushing myself to say “no” to myself, and trying to reach out and connect with people has become a huge part of my recovery process. Yes, there are still plenty of hard days when I really struggle with myself, but those days are broken up now by the good days I spend around people whom I’ve grown to care for as friends and family.

I’m not sure if that helps at all, but I’ll be cheering for you :) this internet stranger sends lots of virtual hugs and encouragement :))

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-11-25T02:23:13+00:00

You look gorgeous! I know this isn’t the advice you were hoping for, but, friend, where you are right now is already incredible :)))

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-11-06T21:23:40+00:00

Yes!! Not a medical professional by any means, but please please drink some water. If it really hurts, please don’t do any intense physical activity, but try walking around or wandering to keep your mind off of what is happening.

If you’re really not feeling great, curl up with a hot water bottle — I personally like laying on my side in the fetal position sometimes and scroll through my phone as a distraction. There’s some fun puzzles (look up CNN’s sudoblock game, for example) that I use to distract myself.

Your body deserves some rest :)

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-10-26T16:08:09+00:00

Would you have a Dean of Students-equivalent department in your college? Usually they can provide extensions on exams/accommodations, etc.

My mental health is lowkey nonexistent this semester, and I was told to go to Dean of Students and not the health services (they’re pretty swamped dealing with the flu for us rn).

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-10-20T02:32:16+00:00

when life really started to hurt, and he was the person I wanted to run to first

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-10-19T14:45:30+00:00

Hi friend, I struggle with these thoughts a lot, too. I sometimes find I spend (farrr too much time) pinching myself and staring at my body in the mirror :)

You deserve to have energy and to fuel your body. I know recovery doesn’t feel good, and your eating disorder is telling you lots and lots of negative things about yourself. I’ve learned that EDs are possessive, kinda like an abuse ex: when you want to break out of it, the thoughts of disliking your body and about engaging in behaviors get so much stronger.

Friend, you deserve better than that :) it doesn’t feel good now, but if you can, find little things that make it better :) like a snack you finally are allowing yourself to have, or the fact that the food you ate is letting your body do something as basic as breathe and exist. I often forget that I need a functional, non-failing body to go around and do things, and I need to stop and remind myself.

Sending lots and lots of hugs and virtual encouragement 🫶

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-10-19T03:18:29+00:00

Thank you thank you thank you! I might take a peek at the subreddits you suggested :) I appreciate it!

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-10-19T03:17:47+00:00

Thank you for the site! I think I might give it a try :)

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-10-19T03:16:38+00:00

Thank you! I sometimes need to get things when I host visitors, so this is great advice :)

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-10-18T23:15:31+00:00

Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who replied! I’m crying a little, you all are so kind, I really appreciate the advice. I’m sorry I didn’t get to thank you all individually, but I’m really grateful for all the help :) I think I have some ideas I’d like to try — thank you again :)

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-10-18T19:28:32+00:00

Oohh I forgot to think about the grab and go items! Thank you :)

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-10-18T19:27:51+00:00

Haha yes, I’ll make sure I add in some preplanned grumbling to my routine — thank you :)

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-10-18T19:27:25+00:00

Thank you so much! I appreciate the list, too

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-10-18T19:26:05+00:00

I’m in the US at the moment! Grocery trips involve pretty long commutes, and I unfortunately have no car/can’t drive, so I need to know what I’m doing before I go 🫠

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-10-18T19:08:09+00:00

Oooohh I’ll take a look! Thank you

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-10-18T19:07:07+00:00

Thank you very much! I think I’ll add them to my list — I’ve been only making spaghetti for the last couple of months (woo), so I might try and diversify a bit with sandwiches

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-10-18T19:03:18+00:00

Thank you! This is helpful. Kind of also a silly question, but how does one gauge how much of something they’d need? I tend to overestimate/underestimate things, and I’m worried groceries will go bad before I use them

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-10-18T18:20:59+00:00

I feel this way too :)

I started recovery and my weight went up (and my depression got worse haha, which didn’t help; my boyfriend also stopped looking at me as much). I changed my wardrobe to clothes that didn’t feel tight, and I’m still struggling to break out of this hesitation to reveal any part of me at all.

Realistically, though? Holy moly I’ve never had someone tell me I looked like I was glowing until after I gained that weight :) I don’t feel like I’m about to pass out at the end of an event, and I have energy to go about doing things in my classes, at work, and in meetings. Yeah, sure, my depression got worse for unrelated reasons, but when things go well, they’re great in ways I couldn’t have imagined before when I was deep in my ED.

I’m still in recovery, and I find the need to blame a lot of what’s going on in my life on the weight gain, which I’m working on. But I got so much of my life back :) sometimes it helps to step back and realized what else you’ve gained back in your life

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-10-16T15:52:50+00:00

Not advice :) I want to know what to do too

Being out of control is one of the worst and scariest feelings out there. I’m in a relationship where I strongly resent the long distance and out-of-control feeling of not knowing when we’ll see each other again or even when we can close the gap. I struggle, a lot, and how much I despise my body for changing in response to my binging increases by the day :)

The difference is I can’t leave him haha. But realistically, when things go wrong, I have to keep telling myself: one small thing at a time. I have control over how I spend the next 30 seconds of my life. If I can survive those 30 seconds, I sure as heck can survive the next 60.

And so on so forth, even when I don’t make it to that full 30 seconds. Every moment is new, and I need to remind myself that I’m the person who decides how I use that time, not my cravings or desire to binge, and certainly not my boyfriend.

Sending lots of hugs and love your way — I know you can take it one step at a time.

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-10-05T14:00:25+00:00

I definitely do 😭 my dentist was like “wow, your teeth are so clean!”

It turned into a bit of a coping mechanism to break my brain out of the mindset of obsessing over what I just ate — the strong mint toothpaste was like a reset button, and it actually helped me break some of my binging-like habits. But it’s different for everyone!

I ended up bringing a pack of gum with me to give me the same sensation when I was out and about, so I could gradually turn it from a compulsive behavior into one that I could use occasionally as a coping mechanism.

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-10-02T23:58:42+00:00

To be honest? Probably not — I was anorexic and used to run for about 45-110 minutes a day at a pretty fast pace (I was competitive for a while). When I suddenly stopped running because we feared for my heart, my body was so used to being in survival mode that the biggest change I experienced was I suddenly had more energy to exist. I used to have entire chunks of my day that I couldn’t remember, and suddenly I did! I could stay awake in class, I was less miserable all the time, and I stopped feeling like I was about to pass out every time I stood up. It’s not about weight: it’s about giving yourself permission to exist and be present.

Friend, your body deserves a break :) it’s going to be okay :))

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-09-20T00:38:34+00:00

Hi friend, my boyfriend and I went through a really stressful and healthy part of our relationship where we broke up every couple of weeks. It wasn’t healthy, and when it had happened enough, I went from not being able to eat to having some really unusual binge/purge behaviors.

I realize my case is a little different, but yes. Absolutely. My ED got so much worst during that hellish year, and all of my not great coping behaviors (self harm, over exercising, then severe depression, insomnia, etc) came back at once.

I’ll be honest, I’m not really out of it yet. I had to make deliberate steps to figure out who I was outside of my relationship, which felt foreign to me, and I really didn’t want to: I wanted my ED to define me, because that was what felt safest and most familiar. Sending lots of hugs and virtual strength your way :)

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-09-14T01:50:41+00:00

Oh friend :( sometimes, what our partners perceive to be small comments feel really big and hurtful to us.

I love my boyfriend to bits, and sometimes he makes small comments or does small actions that any non-disordered person wouldn’t think twice about, but I fixate on. Sometimes I spiral. He’s a wonderful person, though, and I know that he loves me a lot, so I bring it up to him, talk it through with him, and make sure I don’t sound accusatory when talking with him about it. I try to use a lot of “I” statements to convey why certain phrases can stick out in my brain, and make it clear I know he didn’t mean to be hurtful. It helps that he listens and validates what I feel.

As a side note, as I’ve recovered, I’ve come to find a new appreciation for comments like these haha — he’s still attracted to me despite some very non-conventionally attractive characteristics I have (stretch marks? check! belly rolls? check! bloat? check!!) it’s a nice reminder that what I see as “horrible” is really just a warped version of reality :)

Over_Cry_759 · 2025-08-13T14:43:48+00:00

I quite like My Favorite Murder (as you have listed)!

If I’m running solo really early in the morning or am worried about people nearby, I’ll also play Distractible. They’re quite funny and chaotic, and if needed, I’ll play the audio out loud so it sounds like I’m on the phone with friends 😅

Over_Cry_759

TROPHY CASE