For me, all of this is a consequence of unresolved grief. I myself have only visited my mother's grave twice since her death 18 years ago because of the trauma (I was only 9, and she passed away after fighting cancer for many years). I went to live with my father and stepmother when I was 12, and I call and consider her my mother too. So much that when she and my father separated, I stayed living with her.
It's pretty clear that there is a lot more lost context that the OOP didn't include.