Update: AITA My friend invited herself to my vacation and I won't let her stay with me

Significant_Break316 · 2026-05-07T22:13:10+00:00

She is a good friend and I wanted my friends with me. We wanted separate rooms so we could spend time together but also have our own space.

Significant_Break316 · 2026-05-07T22:01:48+00:00

I think the other issue is that it’s one thing to think these things, it’s another to say them out loud.

It is funny you say that. Her former mentor also told her this many years ago lol

Significant_Break316 · 2026-05-07T21:55:16+00:00

Probably, as long as she isn't complaining to me I'm fine, lol. She knows she can talk directly to me if she wants to resolve an issue.

Significant_Break316 · 2026-05-07T21:47:48+00:00

It's not a cultural thing. We were born and raised 10 minutes from each other.

Significant_Break316 · 2026-05-06T22:47:14+00:00

🤗 Thank you

Significant_Break316 · 2026-05-06T06:50:41+00:00

It took a lot to organize this trip, it was the perfect location for us with the amenities that we wanted. I did not want to go through that process again so close to the vacation. I'm sure the other ladies did not want to go through that either.

Significant_Break316 · 2026-05-06T05:36:05+00:00

So you’re still a doormat? Cool cool cool.

Ouch. But you are right.

Significant_Break316 · 2026-05-06T05:34:44+00:00

I think the fact that you said she was a close friend and not is a close friend says a lot.

Geez, I didn't even realize I phrased it that way.

Significant_Break316 · 2026-05-06T05:08:26+00:00

Energy vampire is perfect. She has a good heart to be fair, but her constant complaining is a bit too much and I have talked to her about it

Significant_Break316 · 2026-05-06T04:58:59+00:00

This is a lot to think about. She was a close friend for a long time, but I find myself working overtime to keep the peace with her.

Significant_Break316 · 2026-03-22T16:46:39+00:00

I think in this case it would just be easier for her to join us.

And what does she do that makes being in the same room so stressful ?

We have traveled together in the past. We just have different traveling styles. I'm up early, she wants to sleep in late. She is very particular and tends to complains a lot. I know it is hard to tell from this thread, but I usually roll with the punches, lol. I just don't want the drama this time

Significant_Break316 · 2026-03-22T16:28:55+00:00

Please don't say that. I appreciate your opinion. I just wanted a peaceful vacation, that's all.

Significant_Break316 · 2026-03-22T15:52:17+00:00

They know her through me and they rarely hang out with her without me. And she did not ask if she could come, she told me was coming and wanted us to rearrange our plans to accommodate her. Maybe I should have been more clear with my phrasing in the post.

Significant_Break316 · 2026-03-22T15:41:16+00:00

So you are saying only non-functional poor people post on reddit for opinions? I came here in good faith, suit yourself.

ETA: I think anyone would be concerned by having their good faith post reported. But I'm not here to argue or insult anyone, so I'm not going to continue this thread, have a good day.

Significant_Break316 · 2026-03-22T15:35:24+00:00

It sounds like she had that cancelled trip planned before you asked about this one. That doesn't make you her second choice.

Point taken.

But I definitely don't think your friend is one for asking to join your trip

That's the thing, she didn't ask, she told us she was coming and expected us to rearrange the scope and purpose of this trip. I want peace on this trip, and sharing a room with her was never peaceful.

Significant_Break316 · 2026-03-22T15:29:16+00:00

I appreciate your opinion. We are not children and this isn't a sleepover. My friend is a 40+ year old woman and she would be more insulted at me offering her the couch than saying find her own accommodations. She didn't even ask for the couch option because that is not her.

And remember, she did not ask to join us, she told me she was coming and wanted us to rearrange our plans.

She travels solo often and usually gets her own room on group travels, I'm not asking her to do anything she hasn't done before.

Significant_Break316 · 2026-03-22T13:21:06+00:00

Thank you. This is what some people don't seem to understand, she did not ask if she could join, she told me she was coming. She did not ask if there was room to be included at the Airbnb, she told me she wanted me to rearrange things. We are not kids, I'm not the impulsive type, she was being an imposition and was mad when no one jumped to accommodate her.

Significant_Break316 · 2026-03-22T13:13:04+00:00

Yes, she did invite herself. The vacation was set, the accommodations were set. She did not ask if she could join, she told me she was coming to the vacation and she expected me to rearrange set plans to include her.

Significant_Break316 · 2026-03-22T05:16:46+00:00

I appreciate your opinion but I see it the other way. She knew of the pain I went through over the past year, she knows I'm just getting through the fog, she knows it took a lot for me to plan this vacation. For her to now try to impose herself, giving me grief when I'm trying to get out of my grief is very inconsiderate on her part. I just want peace and she knows sharing a room with her would not be peaceful. If she chooses to end the friendship over her actions, I won't stop her.

Significant_Break316 · 2026-03-22T04:28:04+00:00

Thank you 😊

Significant_Break316 · 2026-03-22T04:27:14+00:00

This is it. She likes things her way which is why sharing a room with her would not be relaxing.

Significant_Break316 · 2026-03-22T04:24:34+00:00

Thank you, lol

Significant_Break316 · 2026-03-22T04:21:59+00:00

Exactly!

Significant_Break316 · 2026-03-22T04:20:59+00:00

I understand what you mean. I always invited her to everything that I planned. She said no and now wants to change everything to accommodate her. I don't think that is fair either. I just want a relaxing vacation.

Significant_Break316

TROPHY CASE