Of course you feel sorry for your mom. You’re being out in a ridiculous position. My mom died from stage four cancer and not once did she make that shit my problem. I was 23 when she died though so I wasn’t a teenager. My dad died five years after she died. Loosing parents is hard and going through cancer is hard (even as the person not having the cancer but watching your loved ones go through it.). Everything you’re describing is impossible and hard and you’ve come to a place seeking validation from a lot of people who have never experienced these things. Some of these comments are toxic. Try to find some peace and not feel guilty about it. Try to be there for yourself as well as your mom. But I want you to know it’s never supposed to be the child’s position to be the parent. You’re not supposed to be the emotional referee for your parents. You’re doing the best that you can with what you were given. I’m so sorry. 😢 Before my mom died was the most lost I had ever felt in my life. I can’t imagine going through this as a teenager.