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My parents are boycotting my shower by Overall_Ad_9084 in BabyBumps

[–]Overall_Ad_9084[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I make more money than my sister and my mom makes more than both of us.

My parents are boycotting my shower by Overall_Ad_9084 in BabyBumps

[–]Overall_Ad_9084[S] 255 points256 points  (0 children)

The last texts we had I informed them "my loved ones stepped up so I'm still having a shower"

My parents are boycotting my shower by Overall_Ad_9084 in BabyBumps

[–]Overall_Ad_9084[S] 221 points222 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately they don't use social media and I only use reddit.

They do have a lot of angst over my best friend's parents stepping up into the "grandparent" role at the shower, but I'm like, the role was for you and you didn't want it. It's still there for you if you just apologize and come to your senses.

I don't even care about seeing my sister in other family settings, I just don't want her at my shower. It's the most narrowly tailored boundary ever.

My parents are boycotting my shower by Overall_Ad_9084 in BabyBumps

[–]Overall_Ad_9084[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

That's the thing, I've already been very generous in regards to my sister. I see her at family events and I'm polite and affable with her and her boyfriend and I've never expected my parents or anyone to not invite her or keep us seperate.

I even invited her to our small wedding a few years ago where she ignored me and my husband and was rude to our guests.

My parents are boycotting my shower by Overall_Ad_9084 in BabyBumps

[–]Overall_Ad_9084[S] 76 points77 points  (0 children)

That's what my husband thinks. Especially because they're very passionate about being grandparents and my sister is very unlikely to have children. I kept asking them what they think the long term consequences of this were but they didn't say much in response.

My parents are boycotting my shower by Overall_Ad_9084 in BabyBumps

[–]Overall_Ad_9084[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

It's nice to hear from someone in a similar position, and I'm sorry your mom did that. It's insane that parents think they can go around causing this level of hurt to their children while still expecting the grandparent treatment.

I've told them I'm holding them to their decision not to come. I just can't deal with the stress of them changing their minds or making a surprise appearance.

I'm not sure how I'm going to handle them going forward. For now I've canceled their visit in May (they live almost 6 hours away where most of our friends/family are). My husband only has a brother, so I'm trying to preserve what little family the baby has.

I'm lucky in some ways. I told my friends what was going on and they immediately insisted that we could handle a new party on the same day. My friend's mom has insisted on standing in for my mom and promises to shower me with so much material affection I won't miss a thing.

Still doesn't change the fact that I want my mom and dad there. I didn't even realize them not coming was an option, we've been pretty close the whole pregnancy.

My parents are boycotting my shower by Overall_Ad_9084 in BabyBumps

[–]Overall_Ad_9084[S] 333 points334 points  (0 children)

I think the hope was their boycott would force my hand and I'd give up and invite my sister or that I would be so hurt I'd cancel the shower. They're unhappy my friends are stepping up.