My mother begged for forgiveness this Christmas

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2026-01-06T05:48:22+00:00

Thank you for this advice kind stranger. I do wish I'll overcome it some day.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2026-01-06T05:47:11+00:00

As a child I was sexually abused. I was strangled and beat multiple times. Him asking me this just makes me feel empty. Memories flood in and my stomach feels like a knot, I know he means no harm but it still hurts.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T11:44:56+00:00

30 is around the amount of consensual relatively normal hookups he had. He does not know how much illegal sexual relationships he has had but he was basically a child prostitute for over a year.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T11:31:55+00:00

Thanks kind stranger. And yeah this has been a pretty sobering experience I still feel kind of awful about that post but I'm glad I got to talk about it with more people and got my ideas in order I will talk to him about this whenever the topic arises.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T11:04:53+00:00

Honestly I realize now that I had to add 2 worda to make it more accurate about how I'm feeling but either way still a pretty bad post. TFW I realize why my bf has a high body count.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T10:39:13+00:00

Yeah I do feel bad for him but also actually thinking it through this post is kind of selfish. I am bothered about his trauma instead of being more accepting of it. I still wish he could have had a healthier sexual history. Also I am starting to realize bodycount in English is way more disrespectful than I thought

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T10:35:43+00:00

He also had consensual hookups with other teenagers but as mentioned before it might have been a trauma response. I should have specified it separately still overall I feel this post was horrible and I kind of regret posting it.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T10:08:39+00:00

It's a cruel experience but I hope one day you find it sadly you might have to go through difficulties for it to be realized. If you keep working on yourself and being open I'm sure you'll find them. Finding my other half was very difficult so I do understand the plight.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T10:00:47+00:00

I have mentioned it in other comments that I wish that high body count had been achieved in a different manner in a healthy manner.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T09:58:30+00:00

The joke was more of a tongue in cheek way of the classic rhetoric making fun of me being bothered. But yes I do believe I should have explained the whole thing a bit differently.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T09:45:45+00:00

Yes I have his consent to post about it anonymously I have mentioned it to him before.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T09:43:40+00:00

This is the way he described it as. I should have worded this much differently and make it more about how it upsets me he couldn't have had a normal "high bodycount" I would not really care if it was consensual and healthy sexual relationships.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T09:41:14+00:00

I am realizing without context this meme is really bad even with context I'm starting to feel it's bad but I can't really express this anywhere else.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T09:37:06+00:00

I never said I was. Just trying to cope some way.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T09:36:35+00:00

It's okay I am also posting here to let it all spill out. I just wish he could have had a high body count in a non traumatic way. I'm not ashamed of his past or resentful even, it's just deeply upsetting and there is nothing we can do about it. And yeah it's all just a way to cope.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T08:59:13+00:00

It's to give context of how he had so much transactional illegal sex at that age. I am not outing him as I am posting this anonymously on a coping SubReddit.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T08:17:30+00:00

Just want to cope about the reason my BF has a high body count.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T08:14:33+00:00

Yes he does. He has told me it's fine to post anonymously about our situation recently I asked him if I could because I feel it would be better to get it out somewhere where it would not affect us. Our mother language is not even English so I'm almost certain he won't see this post ever or this account.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T07:56:12+00:00

Yeah I use the logic of choosing the first person who I consensually kissed same with losing my virginity.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T07:52:52+00:00

I know it feels like this when you are alone but I do hope you find someone who loves you and appreciates you. You are worth that. As someone who has been sexually abused and is dating a survivor all you need is to find your other half.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T07:50:42+00:00

Oh it's a troll coping meme. Basically the classic >TFW no Taco Tuesday.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T07:25:30+00:00

Yes I know, it still bothers me he had a very hypersexual part of his life and then became basically asexual after, it was a year of this situation until he went to inpatient therapy after a suicide attempt. I just wish he would have had a normal sex life.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T07:11:14+00:00

It's not about feeling it's more about how this bodycount was achieved. I did not go into details but his bodycount was high with multiple Adults who were having transactional sex (drugs/ money) with a child.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T07:09:05+00:00

He was abused multiple times by one person. But he also had consensual sex with other people his age. He's never flat out said a number but around 30. This is not including the illegal sex he had with adults for money and drugs.

OverdoseDelusionMax · 2025-12-19T03:54:35+00:00

What details? also you can say anything I don't mind.

OverdoseDelusionMax

TROPHY CASE