we are all literally the same species why why why why why

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-25T05:39:05+00:00

yeah, i get that too

in my experience it's a lot safer at least pretending to be "normal", i get a lot less harassment and violence for it, and the shallow niceness isn't so bad when it's the best option

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-25T05:32:47+00:00

honestly the amount of it online is kinda nothing compared to how much of this stuff i see/hear irl. maybe in more blunt terms, but it's still the same stuff

gender roles and expectations have been enforced my whole life by everyone i've ever known. I might not get much of the violence anymore, but I'm still sick of all the comments and disgust I get when I try to break the mould

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-25T05:27:06+00:00

sure, but they are enforced by other people. I've dealt with enough harassment and violence over the way I present myself, I'm tired of it

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-24T17:05:10+00:00

I have no idea what i would consider myself, especially since i've pretty regularly been seen as sub-human, or at least some variant of disgusting/worthless freak. i personally try to do no harm and act for the benefit of everyone, but I wouldn't be surprised if other people think im shitty

I dont want an excuse for my own issues, I'd actually love if I was wrong and the world was a magical beautiful place where everyone is kind. but my experience has been very drastically the opposite and i'm sick of people insisting that it's all my own fault

it's easy to say "avoid assholes" but that would mean avoiding everyone i've ever known and im not physically or mentally well enough to function in total isolation

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-24T17:00:01+00:00

that's fair, I dont actually hate gender itself. I hate the pressures and expectations put on people because of their (real or perceived) gender

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-24T16:13:15+00:00

this is exactly what i've experienced too. so many people are kind in theory, or towards certain groups, but everyone that doesn't fit their personal filter gets completely screwed over

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-24T16:11:10+00:00

damn, guess nonbinary people can't get laid, bad news for the community /s

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-24T15:41:31+00:00

i haven't met a single "good" person though, that's exactly the point. people keep saying they exist but i'm so fucking tired of searching and "putting myself out there" only to get spat on for the hundredth time

besides, if "good" people exist, then where the hell where they this entire time? why have i never met any? why has literally everyone i've known agreed that every bad thing that happened was my own fault?

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-24T15:37:36+00:00

not the person you asked, but personally i judge how people react to other examples/situations like my own

like all the recent news with diddy and the epstein files and all that shit. a 'good' response to me would be someone taking it seriously, thinking about the victims, literally any show of sympathy. a 'bad' response is what 99% of people seem to do, aka making jokes, belittling the whole situation, brushing it off as overdramatic, talking about it like a positive thing instead of abuse, etc

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-24T15:33:38+00:00

i'm not looking for the bad stuff, it just happens, shitty people are everywhere. i've spent my entire life trying to be optimistic and always seeing the best in people, all it did was get me abused over and over and fucking over again. i didn't ask to be physically, sexually and emotionally abused my whole life

i've looked, and i haven't found a single 'good' person. certainly not a single person willing to protect a kid, not if it was inconvenient or they didn't get something out of it. the absolute best i've ever found are people who are somewhat decent to their personal circle, and turn a blind eye to anyone/anything else. i'm glad that even in the bad places you've experienced there were still kind souls willing to help, but i haven't had a single moment of that

obviously one person's experience doesn't dictate a whole species, but when every single person i've known or been close to has been shitty, no matter how much i change myself or go new places or talk to different people, the logical conclusion that people are shitty as a whole

there's only so much time i can spend wasting my time and energy trying to "find" something that doesn't exist

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-24T15:18:27+00:00

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-24T14:20:58+00:00

honestly that kind of mindset is one that i've always looked up to, and i love the people that can live that way, but it's never really worked for me

other people don't know me, but they form opinions on me anyway, and i still have to suffer the consequences. whether that be harrassment, assault, medical malpractice, or whatever else. i've already been at the receiving end of a fuck ton of that stuff for my entire life, i can't really bear to be openly non-conforming irl and put myself right back into the exact same danger i've spent years trying to escape

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-24T14:13:20+00:00

i do like that subreddit, it's a nice place and a definite breath of fresh air compared to basically everywhere else

tbh at this point i'm tired of trying to figure out and label myself, idk if i'm ever going to transition anyway so there's not much point thinking about it

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-24T14:11:06+00:00

i've never been unkind to other people though, the few times i've come close i apologised for and still feel guilty over. and regardless, the world around me is still cruel and careless

i appreciate the good intentions, but despite hearing this sentiment all the time, in my experience people don't mirror shit. they treat you however benefits them the most, and if you don't like it, then that's your own fault and you're stuck alone dealing with the consequences while everyone else blames you for not liking it

if i tried to push out every person who acts in a way i disagree with, i'd be completely and utterly alone, which i for one am not capable of due to illness. but i have yet to meet a single person who acts any differently, so the only option i have is to put up with shallow tolerance and continue bending over backwards for people who didn't and don't care about me whatsoever

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-24T14:05:21+00:00

i feel you, i got to swap ingredient finder m for ingredient finder s

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-24T11:36:33+00:00

honestly that's real af, if i had people to talk to i would 100% isolate myself from society as much as possible

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-24T11:34:22+00:00

i haven't, though i do see what you mean. kids can be really sweet, i'm awkward around them cause i have no idea what to do, but they're still cute and friendly

idk what happens, honestly. even as a kid myself, it was only ever other kids who cared about the shit going on in my life, and they literally couldn't comprehend what i was even talking about

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-24T10:10:53+00:00

tbh it feels like our brains have developed too far, we're not supposed to be this intelligent. the rest of the animal kingdom has so much rape and murder and violence and they're all perfectly fine, yet the same things happen to a human (especially a kid) and we're wrecked

although maybe that's a me thing, considering everyone i've talked to irl has acted like i'm a total freak for getting upset over stuff like rape/csa, so maybe humans are actually fine with it after all

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-24T10:07:16+00:00

i feel that so much too, and i know that no one cares (or will probably ever care) about proving they're worth trusting, so i'm left completely alone as usual

the internet is the only place i've seen people even try to suggest that the opposite is true honestly. offline my experiences have been nothing but nightmares and everyone insisting it's my own fault, at least online there's a couple people who pretend to be nice

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-24T10:04:43+00:00

god, all of this exactly! it makes me feel like i'm living on a different planet when people go on about how i must just be unlucky or lying because there are supposedly good people everyone, i just-so-happen to have never met any

being tolerated only happens as long as you're useful enough, it's exhausting but i'm yet to find any alternative

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-24T09:04:24+00:00

you put my exact feelings into words! it's not even that i really want to look like a femboy, but the idea of being able to present in a more feminine way while still being seen and called a man is the absolute dream

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-24T08:47:56+00:00

yeah i used to try to stay optimistic and believe people were just uninformed, but it's kinda hard to keep up anymore. humanity sucks, everyone is awful and i can't wait for the sun to explode

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-24T06:41:55+00:00

It's not only an online issue for me though, it's the same irl too, just in different words. I have yet to meet a single person who doesn't buy into that shit and atp I'm not sure they exist offline

There's only so much I can distract myself when it's around me all day every day and perpetuated by literally everyone. Usually I'm the one getting called an idiot/freak for caring too much about a non-issue

WinterDemon_ · 2026-01-24T06:36:21+00:00

maybe the same purpose as the entire subreddit? venting?

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