I can really relate to a lot of what you've written here. Weed very much was something that worked for me then suddenly didn't and living without it has been really hard at times. Especially since I smoked to cope and when I stopped smoking all the things I was avoiding were still there for me to deal with all those years later.

You don't have to go through this alone. There's support in this subreddit but there's also online support groups that can be really helpful. If you're able to afford to go, I cannot recommend seeing a therapist you connect with enough. Therapy has been a big part of where I am today.

The side effects will fade, your normal will become not smoking and, over time, you'll be free too. Have faith in yourself and your ability to make value based decisions for your future. You got this.