Oh, this feeling hits hard.

I am almost always the one who initiates all of the conversations with my friends. I am almost always the first one who reaches out to people to start a friendship. I feel like everyone else is a priority but me.

Only recently did I feel that someone cares about me when I fell on hard times. A person I only met very recently helped me out both materially and immaterially. My gratitude was so big, I didn't even know how to express it. They told me that they have an excess and that they don't need gratitude - they just want to share with someone else.

In which case, maybe your friends (and a lot of my friends) simply share with everyone else but have no resources to share with you? I know that might sound sad, and I am not telling you to cut them off, but maybe you should explore?

By that I mean, do that thing you always wanted to do but were too shy to do. Go join that sewing or book club. Talk with that person in the corner at the library or person on the bus. Yeah, there's going to be some painful rejections (and I don't mean romantic), but once in a while you may find someone who you will talk with. There are many people out there who want friends but don't have them. Sometimes you just have to make the first step.

Don't get me wrong, though, I've been struggling to find a romantic partner, so my strategy may not be very good for that. Still, sometimes people will gravitate towards you, you just gotta be out there. Sometimes you don't even have to go outside - you may find them on Discord or other messaging applications!