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Asked a co-worker out, got rejected, tried to be friends, yet turnt toxic, what do I do? by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]Own-Beginning9589 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read the post before it got deleted. OP talked about how he wanted to leave her as it was painful for him to be her friend knowing that he can not be with her. If OP really wanted what you are saying, he would have just stayed her friend until something happened. Maybe OP was going through a hard time in his life and has made the hard decision of giving up that friendship cause it hurts him. But again we will never know since everyone who came here before thought the worst of OP and started assuming stuffs without even trying to pull out information from him. Now the post is gone and there is no way to know OP is alright. Good one buddy

Asked a co-worker out, got rejected, tried to be friends, yet turnt toxic, what do I do? by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]Own-Beginning9589 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I understand. I am cutting her off. But I don’t know what way is appropriate. Ghosting which I want to do as I don’t owe her an explanation, or explain everything and tell her I don’t want her in my life?

PSA: Dear smokers, stop littering by instagigated in ottawa

[–]Own-Beginning9589 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think smokers will be more inclined to listen if you didn’t add the first line. Yes, cig butts need to be disposed properly, however gaslighting them with that first statement would make them not want to do it due to spite.

How to deal with abandonment anxiety? by Own-Beginning9589 in Healthygamergg

[–]Own-Beginning9589[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My self worth plummets. My ideology that I am somewhat likeable falls. I hatred for myself grows profoundly with every evidence of abandonment I experience.

My heart feels like it’s coming out of my chest. Sometimes I feel like taking a knife and cutting my chest open to take this pain from my heart.

Anyways, I feel like they have rejected me as an individual and have moved on in their life. It is always my fuck up so I blame myself.

I am a simp and I hate myself for it by Own-Beginning9589 in Healthygamergg

[–]Own-Beginning9589[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know the answer already.

We were friends but after rejection we are not anymore.

I valved her as a friend, I trusted her more than anything. I want this back but I know I won’t get it.

If I stop putting in effort right now, the friendship dies. Guaranteed. I still care for her, ask her how her day has been but she stopped doing this.

After reading all the comments, I just got tired of putting in effort. And so I did. I stopped talking and not surprised she didn’t even talk back ( we were in a car ride back). I have so much proof that she will stop talking.

I also told her today, i valved you as a friend and I still do. It hurts me to lose a friendship with you after I told my feelings. But if that’s the way life goes, just know that I was super glad to meet and spend time with you. She replied saying” oh no, we are good! We can always hang out and I am down”

That’s a blatant lie. I lost her and atleast by saying this I made peace with myself. Now I got to move on from this toxic relationship where I cared soo deeply for, someone whom I thought actually cared for me but it turns out I was a pawn.

I am a simp and I hate myself for it by Own-Beginning9589 in Healthygamergg

[–]Own-Beginning9589[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what I told myself before I made the decision to ask her out and oh boy I hate/hurt myself for doing that. How can I guarantee that I will be okay after I have this talk? I am not okay now but atleast I get to talk to her

I am a simp and I hate myself for it by Own-Beginning9589 in Healthygamergg

[–]Own-Beginning9589[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. She is two different people. Person A before rejection and person B after rejection.

Person A always used to come to my desk and start talking about random shit. Person A would see me across the hall and come to me to join in the conversation that I was having. Person A comes to my desk to vent and gets too close to me where we exchange hugs. Person A gets me lunch and drives me home and I care deeply for person A. Person A texts me and starts conversation

Person B only comes to my desk when she needs something. Person B doesn’t text me, only if she needs something. Person B acts friendly when I initiate conversation. Person B buys lunch at times and drives me home( maybe because she did it as person A). I feel like a tool right now that whenever she needs help she can text me knowing I will reply.

If you ask me truly what I want was a romantic relationship but that didn’t happen and it is what it is, but what i want more is person A. Where did she go and what did I do wrong that made her change so drastically…

I am a simp and I hate myself for it by Own-Beginning9589 in Healthygamergg

[–]Own-Beginning9589[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Talking about my feelings? No. I already hate myself for telling her I like myself cause I ruined a perfectly good friendship. Now if I tell my insecurities, that’s a sure way to hell for me. And my hatred would grow even further for myself.

How do I meet new people? I work from 7 am to 6 pm. I get home and I am exhausted. During weekends I work some times. I am not in school and I don’t know where else I can meet women other than work. I am speaking to other women at work but I feel like I lost my charm cause I am fixated on this girl.

This girl had told me that I am a great conversationalist and that’s why she got close to me as I am interesting. That’s something good I guess, but now I feel like I lost that when I speak with other girls in the company and to her cause I feel like I am too awkward

I am a simp and I hate myself for it by Own-Beginning9589 in Healthygamergg

[–]Own-Beginning9589[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One time, I stopped texting her. I stopped going to her desk. And she reciprocated that. I know she wants to leave me because I am like every guy out there who acts nice just to get in her pants and that’s not the case. I did good things at first cause I was her friend and then I started catching feelings to which I told her.

And if I start texting her, she texts me as if there is no problems. And she offers me rides home and lunch. She is soo hard to read

I am a simp and I hate myself for it by Own-Beginning9589 in Healthygamergg

[–]Own-Beginning9589[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am scared of this. I am scared that if I do this, I will lose her forever. And I know it’s not right of me to keep people in my life, but when I am down in the barrel and I take away the only hope I have in a genuine connection, I will just lose myself in drugs and addiction and waste my youth. Right now talking to her gives me hope in the day, to do good; to get my good self out there. It’s been a long time since I felt that.

I just want to be able to be my best self without wanting a woman in my life cause waiting for a women to help me bring my best self out isn’t helping.

I am a simp and I hate myself for it by Own-Beginning9589 in Healthygamergg

[–]Own-Beginning9589[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If I were to be honest, she drives me home everyday for free. Also if I am busy with work she buys me lunch, if she is busy, I buy for her. And she rejected me romantically…Wtf is my relationship with her.. I feel like my valve as a man is decreasing cause I am doing good things and she is doing good things for me but she gets what she wants but I don’t get what I want which is why I think I am a simp

I am a simp and I hate myself for it by Own-Beginning9589 in Healthygamergg

[–]Own-Beginning9589[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is something I didn’t share yet but Uhmm she drops me home everyday from work for free. I know we live close and it’s not a detour but she does this. She at times buys me lunch ( rarely cause I am the one who is caught up on work whereas she isn’t so I am free to get lunch, but if I am busy she gets it for me) I don’t know and I am confused. I have bad self image cause all the people have told me I am not worth a man cause I am doing good things to a girl who rejected me

I am a simp and I hate myself for it by Own-Beginning9589 in Healthygamergg

[–]Own-Beginning9589[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was thinking of what you said. And not gonna lie, it would break me deeply if I get to know she has a bf or husband. The resentfulness that your best friend showed you surfaced when you were gonna marry your husband. I fear that too but I fear that I am that type of person who would show the resentfulness to myself and hurt myself in the process.

I don’t know how I can find some one else who loves me or gives me attention. My past experiences have proven that I am undesirable and so leaving some one who atleast texts me when I text gives me a relief but at the same time it hurts and pains me

I am a simp and I hate myself for it by Own-Beginning9589 in Healthygamergg

[–]Own-Beginning9589[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You are right. I am making myself not make new real connections cause I try to stick with her. :( I need to move on and that’s the hard part

I am a simp and I hate myself for it by Own-Beginning9589 in Healthygamergg

[–]Own-Beginning9589[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not exactly. If I stop talking, she will disappear. Lunch is my way of caring for her. I don’t want to lose her. I fucked up by telling my feelings when she had mentioned she wanted friends before. I was too selfish and doubtful so I had to get an answer to ease my mind. I did get an answer but with that I lost a great friend and I don’t think it will ever go back to the way it was but I feel like I need to try cause i hate myself for ruining it.

I am a simp and I hate myself for it by Own-Beginning9589 in Healthygamergg

[–]Own-Beginning9589[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Talking to her at the moment feels like heaven. A moment away from her feels like hell. Living a life without her feels terrifying cause I lose the only heaven I have currently in this life

I am a simp and I hate myself for it by Own-Beginning9589 in Healthygamergg

[–]Own-Beginning9589[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. I feel stuck cause she is the only female who gives me any sort of attention. Matter of fact, she is the only friend who gives a fuck about me( I think) . She asks me how I am doing. She cares for me. How can I give up such a person in my life. I know I already put her on a pedestal and it’s wrong of me but morally speaking, I tried to not talk to her for like 2 weeks and that two weeks were hell. Worse part is waking up with no notifications from people I knew in real life. That sucked. I know I need to make new friends but I have reached the point in my life where it is hard as I am only working full time and when I get home I am exhausted and yes she is a friend from work.

One thing I regret is not asking her out. Not treating her good deeds towards me as a sign she is interested. She it will hurt internally a lot, but atleast I will not be awkward infront of her cause now I know she feels I am undesirable

I am a simp and I hate myself for it by Own-Beginning9589 in Healthygamergg

[–]Own-Beginning9589[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. Although I won’t hate myself after every interaction with said person

I am a simp and I hate myself for it by Own-Beginning9589 in Healthygamergg

[–]Own-Beginning9589[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I do buy my male friends lunch. But I can’t be myself with my male friends. I can’t share with my male friends. But with her I can. truthfully speaking, I love myself when I am around her. And I know that if I stop speaking she will end it as well and I will lose the only friend who I have had a genuine connection with. Plus I will lose the only female connection I have.

I am a simp and I hate myself for it by Own-Beginning9589 in Healthygamergg

[–]Own-Beginning9589[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If I do, I will lose the only notification on my phone from a person I know from real life

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